"I'm the new Berlin Wall. Try and tear me down."
All I ever hear from my family is "If you just do what you're supposed to, you won't have any problems" yet today, I was studying for my exams so as not to get bitched at again, and I get screamed at for doing exactly what I'm supposed to. Makes perfect sense, yeah?
It's at the point where I almost have no relationship with my family because all they do is bitch and yell at me. I'm sorry if I can't force myself to do good in school, and I'm sorry that I can't force myself to believe that I'll never succed in life if I don't have a 4.0 gpa in highschool when I'm 16. Maybe you need to go to school to get a white collar job with some shitty corporation, and I'm convinced that there's more for me than that. I know what I want and I know that no Big Ten university is anywhere near the right choice for me. I know I will most likely end up going to college (most likely Columbia) because I can major in Music Production and Sound Enigineering so I can better understand how music works, and how music works with technology, and also, because I can't seem to let go of the hop that if I go to a (semi) legit school, then my family will accept me and be able to hold a conversation with me that is civil and not about school. In my head I know this will never happen, but my heart seems to like to believe in things that will never happen.
I want to produce a record.
I want to work the boards at a show.
I want to start my own label.
I know I can do this.
I know I can do this, and while what you say might hurt, but it won't stop me.
"I'm the new Berlin Wall. Try and tear me down."