RL Ramble.
I know that no-one reads this, but I do want to start posting more- so who really cares.
I'm going to Seattle for a mission trip on Sunday. Not that I'm particularly religious, but I have always wanted to do one just for the reason of helping others.
But heres the deal- I have the worst fear of flying. I'm a really anxious person, and lets just say that I don't do well with stuff that includes heights. I just think about stuff too much to the point where I really start to freak out. My family is lucky enough to go to Hawaii each year- but that includes a nine hour plane ride- and it's so stressful for me. I don't think I've ever gone through a flight without crying- or wanting to cry.
This mission trip was planned since last summer. It was all set. I have my ticket, I'm going with my cousin- it's all good. I seriously thought I could do it. I had faith in myself that I could overcome my fear, and just do it. But now that its right around the corner, it's all starting to hit me. I lay in bed at night, and I just imagine how it's going to be- step by step. But as I do that, I just know I'm going to freak out. I know it. Something just snaps in my when I fly. I honestly feel like I'm going to die.
So I sat my parents down and told them everything. I told them how I'm legit afraid of how I'm going to react. Thankfully they were really understanding- and thank God my uncle works with the airlines. He can get my dad a discount or something. I'm not really sure.
I do feel bad. I feel like a pansy. I honestly feel like shit over this. But what can I do? It's not like I chose to be this way. I'm just excited for what I'm going to experience when I get there. I hope I meet some awesome people- and I hope this really changes how I see things.
I'm going to Seattle for a mission trip on Sunday. Not that I'm particularly religious, but I have always wanted to do one just for the reason of helping others.
But heres the deal- I have the worst fear of flying. I'm a really anxious person, and lets just say that I don't do well with stuff that includes heights. I just think about stuff too much to the point where I really start to freak out. My family is lucky enough to go to Hawaii each year- but that includes a nine hour plane ride- and it's so stressful for me. I don't think I've ever gone through a flight without crying- or wanting to cry.
This mission trip was planned since last summer. It was all set. I have my ticket, I'm going with my cousin- it's all good. I seriously thought I could do it. I had faith in myself that I could overcome my fear, and just do it. But now that its right around the corner, it's all starting to hit me. I lay in bed at night, and I just imagine how it's going to be- step by step. But as I do that, I just know I'm going to freak out. I know it. Something just snaps in my when I fly. I honestly feel like I'm going to die.
So I sat my parents down and told them everything. I told them how I'm legit afraid of how I'm going to react. Thankfully they were really understanding- and thank God my uncle works with the airlines. He can get my dad a discount or something. I'm not really sure.
I do feel bad. I feel like a pansy. I honestly feel like shit over this. But what can I do? It's not like I chose to be this way. I'm just excited for what I'm going to experience when I get there. I hope I meet some awesome people- and I hope this really changes how I see things.