The Sparks Legacy 1.0
Hello all, and welcome to my newest legacy! I dabbled in another legacy a long while back, the "Irisher Than Thou" legacy, but it was tragically destroyed in the fiery storm of '09, in which I gained a sense of humour. I could be totally wrong about the year because I can't be arsed to actually look things up. And I failed history like the little failbug I am. *snugs with myself* Anyways, enough self-love. You are here to read a legacy, after all, hm?
Meet the founder, Allie Sparks! If this happens to be your name, I'm very sorry to tell you this but your identity has been stolen. Allie is of my own design and therefore shaped to my liking, thus elf ears and family simmerosity. And a generally pleasant personality. *is picky*
Characteristic of her wood elfy kind, her first few minutes on the lot were spent smelling the air like a bloodhound. Girl, it's okay, there will still be air here the next time you want it. Calm your nostrils.
Her lot is rather sparse at the moment. I think it's time to fix that. *cracks knuckles*
Good news everyone! You have a house now. Bad news! I used all of your money on landscaping.
This is the inside of the house! There is only one door at the moment, the front door. Need to go to the bathroom? Psh. You don't have a toilet anyways, just have a leak in the middle of the floor.
The outside looks pretty nice. *cough* Except, you know, the lack of paneling on the exterior of the house.
Clearly my gigantic folly means that Allie gets to do some grunt work as a result! :D Searching for a job turns up the Education career track. I think it suits her.
Damn, look at how hip this guy is. It's like he's at home all up in that nature.
Garden Club Member: "How dare you insinuate that I am environmentally conscious!"
Allie: "What."
We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you an adorable picture of Allie in HEATED CONVERSATION.
GCM: "Listen... the trees are speaking to you. Can you hear them?"
Allie: "Oh. I can hear them."
And then I realized she needed commodities like food and a toilet, so I sent her into town.
...Excuse me a moment. *sends Allie home, quits game, ramps up SimPE and starts furiously deleting clones*
Well, now that that's done with, I returned Allie to the shop. Turns out taking food out of the fridge counted out of HER pocket and she didn't get a meal out of it after all. T-T Dejected, I directed her back home.
And who should await us, but a mischevous-looking gypsy! Just look at her. You know she totally has like, a knife stashed in her cleavage. You know, to defend herself against those thieving rapscallions and whatnot. I don't know where I'm going with this, just skip to the next picture already. D:
Allie returned from work, managing to look cute even in a gym outfit. What is this, I would look terrible in such attire. It is the blood of the elves, I swear. *shakes an angry fist*
I added more trees to the neighborhood. ;D NOT SO SPARSE NOW, ARE YOU.
With the little pocket money she scrounged from the job, I decided to treat her. So now this is her humble kitchen of humbleness.
Allie: *silently prepares lunch*
Allie: *silently om noms*
Why in the world did I make you shy? This will be the most boring legacy ever fuuuuuuu-
Here, have some mischevous gypsy to mix things up while I go cry. *buries face in hands*
Hoping to make things more interesting, we went into town again. And despite there being eyecandy right. there. Allie made a point to greet every other person in the square. At least she's being sociable?
OH MY GOODNESS WHAT AN AMAZING ELFEN SPECIMEN YOU ARE. *dons monocle*
THE ELFDOM. I CANNOT- *asplodes*
Allie seemed significantly less thrilled.
...Don't look at me like that! And say something for once, damnit! D; You were getting on so well with that conflicted Garden Club Member. T-T
And then...
THE HOLY GRAIL OF MEN.
It makes girls weak in the knees.
Okay, that's kind of really frightening. Please stop being holy now. D:
Allie: *makes a fish face in an attempt to woo the grail* "This is how humans show they want to mate, right?"
Clearly not.
And so she tries a less subtle approach.
Allie: *nonchalant crotch reach*
Ahh, there's the Allie I know! She was honestly acting like this the whole time but all of the pictures I took were not evident of it at all.
Allie: "I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance." 8)
Don't look now, but I'm fairly certain Shimmycocopuffsss is chillin to your left.
Random Apostle: "Miss, you are divine, a thing of beauty! I bow at your feet a humble servant."
Allie: *is too smitten with Holy Grail to notice*
APOSTLE WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET OUT OF THIS PICTURE you are not even facing the right way
Allie: "I think he likes me!" 8D
Allie: "Hee."
Me: *is shot from cuteness*
Allie: "Ah leiks mah cooks." *derpface*
But lo, it was getting late, and so she left her suitor with a kiss on the hand like the gentlewoman that she is.
Thank god she's actually starting to talk to people. >:[
I got her a bunkbed, because only the coolest 20-somethings have bunk beds. SO FRESH.
Probably the funniest part is when she tries to get into it and ends up sprawled across the desk.
Allie: "Phones are the best pillows. You just don't know comfort."
How was your beauty sleep?
Allie: "Very drafty."
This is proof of how neglectful I am. Hold your bladder, I'm saving up your money for other investments.
This is probably the saddest picture I have ever taken. xD Those sandwiches did nothing to you, Allie!
Allie: "But they're keeping my toes warm."
Allie: *silently om noms again*
Nuuuu. ;-;
The mailman's name is Corbin Upsnott. I've made a personal mission of having Allie befriend him specifically for this reason.
Allie, first you trample the sandwiches and then you forget to put them in the fridge before you go to work! Those were going to be your meals for at least another two days. Sorrow.
I finally got her a toilet. She can officially die happy.
Allie: "This is the best day of my life." *in ecstasy*
WOMAN DO YOU THINK I AM MADE OF MONEY. I GAVE YOU SOMEWHERE TO POOP, THAT ALONE SHOULD BE ENOUGH.
Kids these days.
I got bored of the house so she went off for a night of fine dining. And who should we find there, but the holy grail himself! It turns out his name is Cameron, and he is a looker. But I didn't take pictures of his face because I am a stupid person of stupid.
m(_ _)m
Allie: "I'm so happy to see you here!" 8D
Allie: "Oh my gosh I am touching you." 8D
Allie: ^∇^
After finally being detached from Cameron by her rumbling tummy, Allie was seated and I was given a chance to ogle all of the cute waitresses.
Waitress: *is skeptical of her customer's ears*
This was Allie's personal waitress, and probably the only sim I've seen who can actually pull off that hair in my game.
She blew her last $25 on filet mignon. I hope you're proud of yourself and your lack of frugality.
Allie: "Worth it."
...Er, Allie, I think it's about time we went home. o.o
Raking.
Raking.
Raking.
Allie: *is super solemn*
Me: ...
Oh, I see how it is.
This was a futile attempt at cleaning as it turned out that the showerhead above her was broken, but, endless skilling! :D And look, bathroom tiles, oooooh.
Her home is slowly becoming more and more quaint, as opposed to the ugly shell of a house it was before.
But it is so, so BORING. This was the only sort of entertainment she had for another three days or so, which was the basic equivalent of violently beating my head against a wall.
The repairman came by to fix the showerhead, and upon realizing that Allie had about $2 in the bank, proceeded to steal the desk chair. YOU BASTARD. THAT WAS MY FAVOURITE. CHAIR.
What do you know? All of this silent om nomming has granted Allie a friend. An equally silent friend.
But for the Stinky Skunk, things were not so fortunate.
Stinky Skunk: "Bitches be boring, I'm outta here."
Allie remains cute in any outfit thrown at her. What an adorable jerk. >:[
Welp, Allie got a promotion. So, guess what time it is? It's HOUSE MAKEOVER TIEM~
It's shaping up well, I guess. I only added like three whole things, but there you have it. Also, I realize all the hanging lamps are the same. THEY'RE ONLY 15 DOLLARS OKAY SHE IS POOR
But just as soon as I'd finished decorating, I realized it was her day off. OTL But what a lovely day it was for trimming the garden!
...The literal garden, you pervs.
Clippers and babies. These two things should not go hand in hand.
Pssh, of course she's enjoying herself. What a wood elf.
Snow? In my mid-autumn?
Creeper Teen: "Oh hey." :D
Creeper Teen: "How's it goin'?" :D
Creeper Teen: :D
Creeper Teen: 8D
Creeper Teen: ｏ∀ｏ
Me: °Д°
Mailman: "DAT WAS DA CRAZIEST THING I HAVE EVA SEEN" *is blown away*
A creeper this way comes. Really? Stealing from the poorest person in town?
Sir, you are a butt.
Robber: "Aw man, what was the possibility of that?! The only inhabited house in the whole neighborhood and it has an alarm. It's like they were expecting me."
I would comment on your stupidity but I'm too mesmerized by whatever your crotch is doing.
Hot damn. I'd let him strip search me anytime, bebeh. ;D
Allie: *is unperturbed by the entire situation* "Midnight snack, here I come."
Allie: "Yuss, pizza, get in mah belleh."
Allie: "Oh hey, what's all this then?"
Cop: "We are going to have a very long talk about this when we get back to the station, mister. A very. Long. Talk."
WOAH WOAH, save the angry sex for later. You know how much I love a show, but this is a taint-free area. Think of Allie's virgin eyes! And her virgin... virginity.
Look at him, using the crosswalk like a good citizen. It's a coverup, I know your true ways. *has had experience in this department* ;D
It's like the game knew she was broke.
LOLWAAAAAAAT? I repeat, it's like the game knew she was broke. She's done nothing at all to deserve this. o.O
I've always loved the genie, he is the silliest.
Exterior of the house: *has sprouted siding*
Allie: "Augh, these magical sparkles just SMELL. SO GOOD."
Genie: *sigh*
Well, it was pretty obvious, wasn't it?
With the $22,000 awarded by the genie, I made over the house again!
MY HOW SPIFFY.
Allie made her second ever homemade meal of toaster pastries in her new kitchen, and there was much rejoicing.
He is the Steve Urkel of elves. But he needs the glasses, man, the GLASSES.
Allie is finally making friends with the townsfolk! This is Siobhan (pronounced Shawn). She has a squishied face but I love it.
And after an intense waiting period, Cameron appears again.
HEY WHAT. Calm down with that greeting, you two, you only have crushes -
...Escoose me? You have only seen each two times previous. Two. Times.
But wait a minute. *dons monocle again*
*realization dawns*
GUESS WHAT YOU GUYS? 8D I swear I didn't set this up, I just got these face defaults the day before I started the legacy and it didn't even dawn on me that he might be an elf. *scratches head* Man, I am a dumdum.
Allie: "Pleeeeease can I keep him?" ^-^
...Oh fine. -_-
Pssh, wood elves.
Geh, stop being cute and autonomous, you two, this is srs bsns, you're in love and you barely know each other, and...
*twitches*
Goddamnit. And goodness, what a measly contribution. My grandmother has more money stashed in her back fat.
...All right, I guess I can live with it.
_________
THE END. For now. ;) If you found this unfunny, that's because it probably is. Derp.
NEXT TIME:
- Chilluns!
- More creepers?
- Allie actually acts like herself for once. >:[
End note: I am a silly person and use Japanese emoticons because I enjoy them. If you need any clarification on some/can't wrap your head around what they're supposed to be, give me a verbal shove and I'll explain them for you. :3