My Life Will Never Be The Same
Thanks to those oh-so-appropriate friendly mods over at Boolprop, I have discovered a site called Omegle, which is utter and pure hilarity. (I chat regularly with Meghan, Liz, Jenn, Ky, Sly, and a bunch of other non-mods, for those wondering.) So basically, Omegle is a site that lets you talk to random strangers. Harmless, right? WRONG. WE WRECK UTTER HAVOC. Often times, these things are brought about by Aaron Carter references, because he's motherfucking back, bitch. There is also a friendly dinosaur involved.
One of the highlights of this night's harassment is this conversation that I had with someone:
Stranger: hello?
You: why hello there
You: asl
Stranger: 23/f/ca
Stranger: you?
You: 15/f/us
Stranger: i'm a singer :-) wanna see a song i wrote? i'm looking for opinions
You: sure, that'd be great
You: I sing quite a bit myself
Stranger: I'M ON A DOLPHIN, DOING FLIPS AND SHIT
THE DOLPHINS SPLASHING, GETTING AARON CARTER ALL WET
BUT THIS AIN'T ONTD, THIS AS REAL AS IT GETS
AARON CARTER'S BACK, MOTHERFUCKER, DON'T YOU EVER FORGET!!!!!
You: hm well, that's quite an intriguing song you have there
You: I do love the swearing
You: I also have something I'd like opinions on, because I'm not sure how I like it
You: does this look too forward to you?
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...................,'::::::::,-~~"~"_::',::|::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,~ ':\'-,::',"-\::'':"::::::::\|:|/
..............._,-'"~----":::/,~"¯"-:|::|::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,~"::\'-,:\;;'-';;;;;;;;;;;,-'::\::|/
............,-'::::::::::::::::'-\~"O¯_/::,'::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-',::\'-,:|::";;;;;;;;;;;;,-':\:'-,::\
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:::::::::::::::::|::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::|::\: : : : : : |: : \::::::::/:/
:::::::::::::::::|::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::"-':::\: : : : : : |: : :\::::::|::|\ MY VAGINA SCRAMBLES EGGS
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,__:::::::::::',"-,:::"_|/\:|\: : : : \::\":/|\|
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_:::::\:::\:::"~/_:|:|\: : : '-,\::"::,'\
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"-,_:'-,::\:::::::"-,|:||\,-, : '-,\:::|-'-„
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::,-,'"-:"~,:::::"/_/::|-/\--';;\:::/: ||\-,
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :/...'-,::::::"~„::::"-,/_:|:/\:/|/|/|_/:|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |......"-,::::::::"~-:::::""~~~"¯:::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |........."-,_:::::::::::::::::::::::::/
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::\ .............."~--„_____„„-~~"
Stranger: that's beautiful bb
You: oh fantastic, I was so uncertain
You: I'd been meaning to enter it into an art contest
You: do you think I'll win?
You: the message is true, you know
Stranger: that's an impressive vagina for a 15 year old!
Stranger: it should win
Stranger: it's pretty rad
You: yes, I take pride in my vagina
You: it's been through quite a bit
You: a few wars have been waged, you know
You: I'm currently making some scrambled eggs for breakfast
You: would you like any?
Stranger: mmm, i'd love some. you know how to treat a girl right
You: the hell I do
You: I'll add an extra egg in
You: do you want some bacon with that?
You: bacon is my hidden talent, you see
Stranger: damn girl, you're like miley cyrus! very multi-talented. singer, bipolar, dick sucker, all rolled into one!
Stranger: i'd love some bacon, please
You: damn right I am
You: bacon it is
You: this is going to be a bit tricky
You: I have to stand on my head, see
You: otherwise it just doesn't work
You: I'm currently using my tongue to type
Stranger: you have no idea what i want you to do to me if you're tongue can type complete sentences, bb
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
If you do not partake in this hilarity, you are a fool.
One of the highlights of this night's harassment is this conversation that I had with someone:
Stranger: hello?
You: why hello there
You: asl
Stranger: 23/f/ca
Stranger: you?
You: 15/f/us
Stranger: i'm a singer :-) wanna see a song i wrote? i'm looking for opinions
You: sure, that'd be great
You: I sing quite a bit myself
Stranger: I'M ON A DOLPHIN, DOING FLIPS AND SHIT
THE DOLPHINS SPLASHING, GETTING AARON CARTER ALL WET
BUT THIS AIN'T ONTD, THIS AS REAL AS IT GETS
AARON CARTER'S BACK, MOTHERFUCKER, DON'T YOU EVER FORGET!!!!!
You: hm well, that's quite an intriguing song you have there
You: I do love the swearing
You: I also have something I'd like opinions on, because I'm not sure how I like it
You: does this look too forward to you?
................................................. ..........................._,-~"¯¯"~-,
.................................................. ................__„-~"¯¯:::,-~~-,_::::"-
.................................................. ..........„~"¯::::::::::::::"::::::::::::::::::\
.................................................. .__„„„-"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,
..........................................__-~"::,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::~-,
..........................._______~"___-~":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::"-,
......................,~"::::::::::::::¯¯:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,: |
....................:/:::::::::::::::::__-~":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::_,-~":'\'-,:\:|:\|::\|\::\:|
...................,'::::::::,-~~"~"_::',::|::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,~ ':\'-,::',"-\::'':"::::::::\|:|/
..............._,-'"~----":::/,~"¯"-:|::|::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,~"::\'-,:\;;'-';;;;;;;;;;;,-'::\::|/
............,-'::::::::::::::::'-\~"O¯_/::,'::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-',::\'-,:|::";;;;;;;;;;;;,-':\:'-,::\
............|:::::::::::::::::-,_'~'::::,-'::,':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-':\'-,:\'-,';;';;;;;;;;;;;;;,-':\:::'\-,|''
............|::,-~"::::::::::::::"~~":::,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::_,-~':\'-,|:"'";;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'¯::'-,:',\|
.........../::/::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::_,„-~"¯\:\'-,|;''-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'--,::\-:\:\|
........./::::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-';;'-';;;;',/;\/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-,|:::\-,:|\|..\|
......./:::::::\:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-~'''("-,\:::|\:|::''
......,':::::::,'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :,-'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,--'::::::/"~'
.....,'::::::::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,„-~"::|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'::::::::,'::::/
..../:::::::::|:::::::::::::„---~~""¯¯¯::',:::::,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,':::::::::::|_,-'
..,'::::::::::::",:,-~"¯::::::::"-,::::::::::|:::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,':::::::|::::,'
./:::::::::::::::|:::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::\:::|¯¯¯"""~-,~,_/::::::::,':::/
:::::::::::::::::|::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::|::\: : : : : : |: : \::::::::/:/
:::::::::::::::::|::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::"-':::\: : : : : : |: : :\::::::|::|\ MY VAGINA SCRAMBLES EGGS
:::::::::::::::::|::::::::::::::::",::::::::::::::::::\: : : : : : \: : : |:::::|::|;;\
::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::::/|\ ,: : : : : : : |::::,'/|::::|
:::::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::"-,_::::::::::\|:/|,: : : : : : : |::: |'-,/|:::|
::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::::::::::::::"~-,_:::"-,/|/\::::::::::: \::: \"-/|::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,__:::::::::::',"-,:::"_|/\:|\: : : : \::\":/|\|
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_:::::\:::\:::"~/_:|:|\: : : '-,\::"::,'\
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"-,_:'-,::\:::::::"-,|:||\,-, : '-,\:::|-'-„
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::,-,'"-:"~,:::::"/_/::|-/\--';;\:::/: ||\-,
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :/...'-,::::::"~„::::"-,/_:|:/\:/|/|/|_/:|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |......"-,::::::::"~-:::::""~~~"¯:::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |........."-,_:::::::::::::::::::::::::/
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::\ .............."~--„_____„„-~~"
Stranger: that's beautiful bb
You: oh fantastic, I was so uncertain
You: I'd been meaning to enter it into an art contest
You: do you think I'll win?
You: the message is true, you know
Stranger: that's an impressive vagina for a 15 year old!
Stranger: it should win
Stranger: it's pretty rad
You: yes, I take pride in my vagina
You: it's been through quite a bit
You: a few wars have been waged, you know
You: I'm currently making some scrambled eggs for breakfast
You: would you like any?
Stranger: mmm, i'd love some. you know how to treat a girl right
You: the hell I do
You: I'll add an extra egg in
You: do you want some bacon with that?
You: bacon is my hidden talent, you see
Stranger: damn girl, you're like miley cyrus! very multi-talented. singer, bipolar, dick sucker, all rolled into one!
Stranger: i'd love some bacon, please
You: damn right I am
You: bacon it is
You: this is going to be a bit tricky
You: I have to stand on my head, see
You: otherwise it just doesn't work
You: I'm currently using my tongue to type
Stranger: you have no idea what i want you to do to me if you're tongue can type complete sentences, bb
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
If you do not partake in this hilarity, you are a fool.