(no subject)
It's been forever since I last updated. Now I finally have something to say. So here's the speil:
For the entirety of my little life, my mother has picked over my image. It's such a pitiful thing to nag your kids about that. I feel pathetic even mentioning it. I can honestly say that my mother has made me feel less than decent looking on countless occasions. She has always seemed so disapointed in me. I don't fit into her perfect mold, my edges are too jagged. My views on life, too secular. There have been times in my life that I've felt unwanted because of my mother. Despite her judgments, I'll always love her more than words can express. I can't help but love my mother. I went home this weekend. My mother seemed so distant. Not once did she make eye contact with me. I finally gathered some courage today and I asked her if she was mad at me. Her reply was "I'm just having a hard time figuring out my feelings about who you have become." She sounded so discouraged. It was as if she couldn't figure out if she liked me or not. She went off on my hair (I recently died it from barbie-ish blonde to my natural brunette). I've spent my whole life trying to be what she wants me to be but it never quite works. It's like I keep popping out of her mold. After she went off on my hair, she turned to me and said that I need to go to the dermatologist to get my face checked out. She then paused and added "you might want to keep those zits though...because they're natural and all." She was basically making a smartass comment on my defense of my naturally brunette hair. That's about the time when I told her I felt sorry for her. She can't hurt my feelings anymore. I'm immune to her shallow concerns...anyways, that was so long and so pointless...but, i just wanted to get it all out.
If you could choose ten songs for a soundtrack of your life, what would they be?
Here are my songs (in no particular order)
1-U2-I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
2-The Weakerthans-The Prescience Of Dawn
3-The Beatles-Here Comes The Sun
4-Aretha-R-E-S-P-E-C-T (biatch)
5-Radiohead-Fake Plastic Trees
6-Nickel Creek-The Smoothie Song
9-Frou Frou-Let Go
7-The New Radicals-Someday We'll Know
8-Nickel Creek-This Side
9-Alkaline Trio-Sorry About That
10-Incubus-The Warmth
(there should be a song to express how I feel about Jeremy..but I don't think that the way I feel about him could be put into words. His love is indescribable)
For the entirety of my little life, my mother has picked over my image. It's such a pitiful thing to nag your kids about that. I feel pathetic even mentioning it. I can honestly say that my mother has made me feel less than decent looking on countless occasions. She has always seemed so disapointed in me. I don't fit into her perfect mold, my edges are too jagged. My views on life, too secular. There have been times in my life that I've felt unwanted because of my mother. Despite her judgments, I'll always love her more than words can express. I can't help but love my mother. I went home this weekend. My mother seemed so distant. Not once did she make eye contact with me. I finally gathered some courage today and I asked her if she was mad at me. Her reply was "I'm just having a hard time figuring out my feelings about who you have become." She sounded so discouraged. It was as if she couldn't figure out if she liked me or not. She went off on my hair (I recently died it from barbie-ish blonde to my natural brunette). I've spent my whole life trying to be what she wants me to be but it never quite works. It's like I keep popping out of her mold. After she went off on my hair, she turned to me and said that I need to go to the dermatologist to get my face checked out. She then paused and added "you might want to keep those zits though...because they're natural and all." She was basically making a smartass comment on my defense of my naturally brunette hair. That's about the time when I told her I felt sorry for her. She can't hurt my feelings anymore. I'm immune to her shallow concerns...anyways, that was so long and so pointless...but, i just wanted to get it all out.
If you could choose ten songs for a soundtrack of your life, what would they be?
Here are my songs (in no particular order)
1-U2-I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
2-The Weakerthans-The Prescience Of Dawn
3-The Beatles-Here Comes The Sun
4-Aretha-R-E-S-P-E-C-T (biatch)
5-Radiohead-Fake Plastic Trees
6-Nickel Creek-The Smoothie Song
9-Frou Frou-Let Go
7-The New Radicals-Someday We'll Know
8-Nickel Creek-This Side
9-Alkaline Trio-Sorry About That
10-Incubus-The Warmth
(there should be a song to express how I feel about Jeremy..but I don't think that the way I feel about him could be put into words. His love is indescribable)