Resting in God through the pain
Right now has been the hardest time of my life yet again. I broke up with my boyfriend last Saturday (not yesterday), & it has been really hard. I realized that I was putting too much hope in him, & when he let me down, I was devestated. He let me down often... he hurt me often... but the worst part of it is that he didn't care. He didn't even care that he hurt me, & he told me so. He didn't love me anymore, & he told me so. All of it was just wrapped up in pain.
At first, I thought that I was okay. I thought that I was immediately over it & I started out by focusing just on how I can spend all of my time with God now, & focus my heart completely on Him & find my hope only in Him. I am still trying to do that now, but with struggle! This week has been super hard. It isn't easy to just get over a relationship over night, no matter how long that relationship is, if you really care for that person & put them before yourself during your relationship with them!
So now I am working through the pain with Jesus. I am trying so hard to draw near Him ... it hasn't been an easy task at ALL! In fact, I have fallen a couple of times into temptation (with drinking & other things), instead of resting in Him. But what I found is that NOTHING IN THIS WORLD can fully carry my load like He can. Non-Christian friends most certainly CAN NOT, drinking just numbs the pain until the next day, dating another guy just covers up past pain with possible present & future pain because healing hasn't taken place.
The only thing that can sustain my pain is Jesus Christ. He paid for my pain on the cross. So Lord... I ask now that You would come & fill my very soul with all of You. Just take away my depression, my pain, my hurt, every desire in me is that NOT FROM YOU. Take it all away & replace it with a better, stronger, closer relationship with You. Replace it with Your hope that is the strongest hope of all. I plead with You Lord... I need You so much. Come to me & fill me with Your heart & soul. I need You, Lord.
"All I Need is You" by Hillsong
Left my fear by the side of the road
I hear you speak & I won't let go,
I fall to my knees
as I lift my hands to pray.
If God has a reason to be here with me,
the Father's love that draws me in.
All my eyes wanna see is a glimpse
of You.
All I need is You -
All I need is You, Lord,
is You Lord.
All I need is You -
All I need is You, Lord,
is You Lord.
One more day & I'm not the same,
the Spirit calls my heart to sing,
I'm drawn to the force of my Savior
once again.
Where would my soul be
without Your Son?
He gave His love to save
the earth.
I rest in the thought of You
watching over me.
& all I need is You,
all I need is You Lord,
is You Lord.
All I need is You,
all I need is You Lord,
is all You Lord.
'Cause all I need is You,
all I need is You Lord,
is You Lord.
'Cause all I need is You,
all I need is You.......
'CAUSE ALL I NEED!
IS YOU!!!!!
ALL I NEED!
IS YOU!!!!!
YEAH ALL I NEED,
IS YOU!!!!!
(YES GOD)
ALL I NEED IS YOU!
All I need is You...
All I need is You Lord,
is You Lord.
All I need is You...
All I need is You Lord,
is You Lord...
'Cause You are
the universe,
You are
everyone on earth.
Yeah You are...
(Repeat 3 times)
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"In Times of Pain" by Maggie Drabing
In times of pain
where my heart feels like it will cave in
the Lord becomes my every strength
I go back to the One that has no sin.
My heart longs to replace the hurt
with His very breath within me,
I long for Him to be the only One & only Thing
that I can see.
Lord I need You so much,
please come & take this pain
You know my limits,
& I don't know how much more I can sustain.
Feed me Your Spirit God,
& help me to stand with Your great love
a love that is matchless to any other love,
& can only come from Above.
Replace my pain with Your Spirit,
Replace my hurt with Your touch,
Refresh my Spirit & my heart,
with Your great love.
Thank You for all that You do for me,
I know that I don't deserve it.
But I promise that I will keep coming to You
so that You can transform me.
It is only You that can change
this wicked heart within me,
no human can do what You can do,
only You can set me free.
Amen.
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"The Stand" by Hillsong
So what can I say?
What can I do?
Than offer this heart,
Oh God,
completely to You!
So I'll stand
with arms high & heart abandoned,
in awe of the One who gave it all.
I'll stand
my soul Lord to You surrendered,
all I am is Yours!!
I'll stand.....