One Scarred Hand to the Other
Right now I am listening to Casting Crowns "East to the West." It is MY song right now, from what I have been going through! I feel like Jesus has had to give me SO MUCH GRACE this semester! Seriously. If I were Him, I would have given up on me already, 3 YEARS AGO at the beginning! He has been my best friend. He has never left me, no matter what I have done to Him. Why do I deserve Him? I don't. Everything I have done has been against His commands & against His will. I am constantly turning my back on Him though He still stays beside me. His goodness continues throughout the years I have known Him & will continue throughout my whole life. I guess that's why they sometimes call GRACE a GIFT... You don't always deserve a gift for your birthday! Some years, we are mean to people, but because it is our birthday, everyone feels obligated to give us a gift of some sort. And we can't give it back ... at least not to the people themselves. That's how it is with God - because of His Son's death on the cross for us, He is obligated to forgive us. Salvation is a gift. & no matter if we take it from God or not, it can never be given back ... it can never be taken away. It always waits there for us. If we don't open a birthday present for one year because we were so busy, they would never leave. They would sit there until we did something with them.
Quite often, I feel like I cannot come to God because I am too dirty with my sins. Like today, for example... My Mentor Teacher & I prayed for another teacher in the kindergarten teaching section at my school. But when we were praying together, I felt like I was not good enough to pray with them because of all that I had on my plate for God to forgive me for. There's a point when conviction turns into self-condemnation. This is what the devil LOVES & WANTS us to roll around in. There's a cut-off point when we have to turn that over to God & ask Him to help us to forgive ourselves. This is something I am working on.
SOmething else I have found is that the only time I feel real peace is when I am with Jesus. This whole semester has been SO HARD with Student Teaching, small group leading, church, 40 international students for 3 weeks at a time (2 sets, one after the after), a boyfriend, Resource Group, etc!!! Not to mention, TEACHER WORK SAMPLE is a monster!! But ... when I sit down with the Lord & give Him my fears, cares, concerns, & even joys, He shows up & I am immediately restored to sanity. Thank You Lord for always being my Prince of Peace.
You can never go wrong if you turn your life over to God. I am not saying that you have to be perfect to be a Christian. I HAVE FOUND THAT OUT ALL TOO WELL this semester! What I have found is that you have to trust in the grace that God freely gives to be a Christian. You have to know that you will mess up until you die, but that God always forgives us ..... no matter what. If you want to know more about the Lord, just ask me. It can't hurt to ask about Him. :)
"Better is one day in Your courts,
Better is one day in Your house,
Better is one day in Your courts,
than thousands elsewhere." ~ Passion Worship Band
"Age to age He stands
& time is in His hands,
the beginning & the end,
the beginning & the end.
The Godhead, Three in One
Father Spirit & Son,
the Lion & the Lamb.
The Lion & the Lamb.
How great is our God,
sing with me,
how great is our God.
& all will see how great,
how great,
is our God.
Then sings my soul,
my Savior God to Thee -
how great Thou art!
How great Thou art!" ~ Chris Tomlin
"East to West" (Casting Crowns) video -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyoVJfADlwo