(no subject)
Dear Journal,
Things may just be moving?! Wow...finally. God i hate my job so much...-_-', i want out, its like a dungon. I love the people, hate the boss's and the way they treat the workers. I was going to start a patition, perhaps just before i leave hahahaaa...I was going to try and get everyone a 2 day weekend every second week at least that is to say if they agree and sign the paper..that is if i do.
Hmmm mum's tradded her car in offically now for a truck, she rang up tonight for a job where we used to live...god i miss it, even though its not tainted and will never be as it was, i'm better off with the memory than to go back and have it shattered with the horrible reality, things will never be as they were, never feel the same, its all gone now.
I will have this flat to myself!! *dance's* Its not the same as having my own place...its already tainted to me and i won't feel as free as i did that night i escaped to dads..Then again that got tainted within an hour of being there so really who looses in the end?
Hmm i brought a lotto ticked *laughs* i know i havn't won anything just as i did with the scratchy, i always used to pick the winning scratchy, i used to try and get a feeling off of them and pick the one that i got the strongest feeling from and i just know, don't ask me how, that this ticket is no more than paper and ink.
I made a cd with my fav songs on, its keeping me sane although i have been rather easily aggitated as of late...will have to work on that i guess e.e''. I do miss the old me and yet i don't, the old me would control herself totally and the new me is well..i guess more human.
I'm making mum realise i'm not about to stay here even if she claims she needs me to...I have to do this...If not now then when? I keep putting it off because i'm afraid to let my family fall but in truth how much further could they fall? Where is this so called 'ground'?
Perhaps its me stopping them from moving on...I almost blammed myself for a lot of things...
I seem to like the word 'Tainted' tonight as it just...describes things so well..
I'm shakeing o.O and i dunno why, i shake when i get really excited...but i'm not XD i know i'm funny, i thought only dogs shivered with excitement but i do too. And when i yawn i make a noise not unlike a puppy o.O, people think its cute, i think i've hung out with animals a bit too much.
*shiver shiver shiver* o.O can't get control of it v.v'' how strange.
I can't wait to have this place to myself *huggles slef* Just meeeeeee, oh man i missed that! @@ i love mum and all but i love living by myself for some reason...a b.f is an exception hehe.
Ohhh i saw Louise the other day, well yesterday actually ^^. I went to her house and had coffee, its so funny i havn't seen her in age's and go figure she's living like 6 house's from me XD, i drive past her house every single day.
She's fallen for her friend only she isnt' sure she feels the same way, the girls 'german?' and louise seems to think she dose want to be with her only she thinks her father would flip and kick her out were she to say she was lesbian or bi.
Its funny that i don't feel at all awkward round her, i never have. She's different but not a freak, i can talk about my guys and she can talk about her girls and it makes no difference to me. I know she somtimes gets a hard time at school though..and i know her parents don't know...I wish she'd tell them, her mums sweet, she wants me to go visit more often heh ^^'.
I almost called Simon 'harry potter' the other day, its Dawns fault, she had to keep saying he looked like harry potter and when i went to call out to him i couldn't think of his name and all that came to mind was "harry potter!" but i kept telling myself No! thats not his names its umm..ah..er..eh
I think he might like me o.O. Every time i look at him he's looking at me, he hung back and stepped towards me and stopped, i gave him the 'head toss' greeting and he did it back looking as though he was gona say somthing and then he turned and went the other way o.O. And the other night when i was walking home he came with me on his scooter skater thing, i can't remember what we were talkin bout but Vonnie drove up and offered me a lift and i took it, offered him one too but he said he was ok walking so i told him laters.
*Shrug* He's an ok guy i guess, i mentioned maybe having a party at my house when i get it to myself, he said he'd come. Told him it'd be a funny sight seeing him stumbleing around drunk on my lawn XD, i was being honest, it so would XD.
Ewww the car yard owner was making funny googoo eyes at me, especially when i had to shake his hand. I was kinda repulsed x.x'', it was like. "Good god! What the fuck is up with all you grandpa's thinking you have a chance with me?!?!?!!!! You Don't! Fuck! Off!"
I know, spaz but i can't help it, its getting really annoying, its like i look too old and thats why guys my own age think i'm too old for them, i don't mind the older guys...just not the 2x my age guys or older o.O' my limits like 5 years older.
Anyhow, night is a time for sleep even though i'm a night owl i have to get up in the morning x.x, i don't want to! *Stomps her foot*
But...I will..-_-'
Night all.
Saku/Sally
Things may just be moving?! Wow...finally. God i hate my job so much...-_-', i want out, its like a dungon. I love the people, hate the boss's and the way they treat the workers. I was going to start a patition, perhaps just before i leave hahahaaa...I was going to try and get everyone a 2 day weekend every second week at least that is to say if they agree and sign the paper..that is if i do.
Hmmm mum's tradded her car in offically now for a truck, she rang up tonight for a job where we used to live...god i miss it, even though its not tainted and will never be as it was, i'm better off with the memory than to go back and have it shattered with the horrible reality, things will never be as they were, never feel the same, its all gone now.
I will have this flat to myself!! *dance's* Its not the same as having my own place...its already tainted to me and i won't feel as free as i did that night i escaped to dads..Then again that got tainted within an hour of being there so really who looses in the end?
Hmm i brought a lotto ticked *laughs* i know i havn't won anything just as i did with the scratchy, i always used to pick the winning scratchy, i used to try and get a feeling off of them and pick the one that i got the strongest feeling from and i just know, don't ask me how, that this ticket is no more than paper and ink.
I made a cd with my fav songs on, its keeping me sane although i have been rather easily aggitated as of late...will have to work on that i guess e.e''. I do miss the old me and yet i don't, the old me would control herself totally and the new me is well..i guess more human.
I'm making mum realise i'm not about to stay here even if she claims she needs me to...I have to do this...If not now then when? I keep putting it off because i'm afraid to let my family fall but in truth how much further could they fall? Where is this so called 'ground'?
Perhaps its me stopping them from moving on...I almost blammed myself for a lot of things...
I seem to like the word 'Tainted' tonight as it just...describes things so well..
I'm shakeing o.O and i dunno why, i shake when i get really excited...but i'm not XD i know i'm funny, i thought only dogs shivered with excitement but i do too. And when i yawn i make a noise not unlike a puppy o.O, people think its cute, i think i've hung out with animals a bit too much.
*shiver shiver shiver* o.O can't get control of it v.v'' how strange.
I can't wait to have this place to myself *huggles slef* Just meeeeeee, oh man i missed that! @@ i love mum and all but i love living by myself for some reason...a b.f is an exception hehe.
Ohhh i saw Louise the other day, well yesterday actually ^^. I went to her house and had coffee, its so funny i havn't seen her in age's and go figure she's living like 6 house's from me XD, i drive past her house every single day.
She's fallen for her friend only she isnt' sure she feels the same way, the girls 'german?' and louise seems to think she dose want to be with her only she thinks her father would flip and kick her out were she to say she was lesbian or bi.
Its funny that i don't feel at all awkward round her, i never have. She's different but not a freak, i can talk about my guys and she can talk about her girls and it makes no difference to me. I know she somtimes gets a hard time at school though..and i know her parents don't know...I wish she'd tell them, her mums sweet, she wants me to go visit more often heh ^^'.
I almost called Simon 'harry potter' the other day, its Dawns fault, she had to keep saying he looked like harry potter and when i went to call out to him i couldn't think of his name and all that came to mind was "harry potter!" but i kept telling myself No! thats not his names its umm..ah..er..eh
I think he might like me o.O. Every time i look at him he's looking at me, he hung back and stepped towards me and stopped, i gave him the 'head toss' greeting and he did it back looking as though he was gona say somthing and then he turned and went the other way o.O. And the other night when i was walking home he came with me on his scooter skater thing, i can't remember what we were talkin bout but Vonnie drove up and offered me a lift and i took it, offered him one too but he said he was ok walking so i told him laters.
*Shrug* He's an ok guy i guess, i mentioned maybe having a party at my house when i get it to myself, he said he'd come. Told him it'd be a funny sight seeing him stumbleing around drunk on my lawn XD, i was being honest, it so would XD.
Ewww the car yard owner was making funny googoo eyes at me, especially when i had to shake his hand. I was kinda repulsed x.x'', it was like. "Good god! What the fuck is up with all you grandpa's thinking you have a chance with me?!?!?!!!! You Don't! Fuck! Off!"
I know, spaz but i can't help it, its getting really annoying, its like i look too old and thats why guys my own age think i'm too old for them, i don't mind the older guys...just not the 2x my age guys or older o.O' my limits like 5 years older.
Anyhow, night is a time for sleep even though i'm a night owl i have to get up in the morning x.x, i don't want to! *Stomps her foot*
But...I will..-_-'
Night all.
Saku/Sally