battle
Right now, im in the middle of a torrid battle.....inside my mind! i just saw a very very very disturbing mexican art film called: batalla de el cielo...otherwise known as battle in heaven. I can't even describe how ugly i feel right now. The last scenes really killed me. I kicked and kicked marvin to stop running the movie because i was getting mortified and i couold'nt feel my limbs. In fact, i started going numb right at the beginning.e, The only reason why im typing right now is because i just dont know how to release this without smoking. i had fought with marvin already...now he is slumped over...unable to talk to me because i really raged. i want to break the dvd to pieces, but i cant because its not mine. i want it to be very very far away from me right now. I wish i never saw it, i wish it didnt happen to me at all...i wish it was never made. perhaps im over reacting, its probably not as bad ....BUT IT IS TO ME!!!!! right after we shut it down, marvin kept joking about it which really made it worse...hence....the rage. i got really scared. fear crept up on me and has turned into mad anger. anger because i just dont know how else to react. i hate that movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!now i cant sleep....i fear scenes in there, esp. the last part will invade my dreams and turn it into a night mare. im not watching anything for a while.....and you know what i hate the most is when im not taken seriously in times when im sincerely disturbed and scared!!!.