Can you relate???
AUSTRALIAN LETTER OF THE YEAR
This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign
Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister, the Rudd Government tried
desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every
legal person who read it could do nothing but laugh....
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe
this.
How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows
that I bought a television set and golf clubs from them back in 1997,
and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born
and on what date?
For heaven's sake, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all
the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is also on
my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on
all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out
before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all
those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years
since 1966.
Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be
absolutely f*cking astounded if that ever changed between now and
when I drop dead!!!...
SHIT!
I apologise, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f*cking
address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a
gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there!
And another thing, look at my damn picture.. Do I look like Bin
Laden? I can't even grow a beard for heaven's sakes. I just want to go
to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred
with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me,why would you
give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If
I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse,
believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the
city, and get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, and to
part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN
INFORMATION!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same
spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day??
Nooooo.. that 'd be too f*cking easy and makes far too much sense.
You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like
chickens with our f*cking heads cut off, and then having to find some
high-society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn
photo! You know the photo.. the one where we' re not allowed to
smile?! ...you f*cking morons
Signed - (An Irate Australian Citizen).
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting
someone in high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family
has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my
forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the
Eureka Stockade!!)
I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something
over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high
security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of
the RSL.. and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card
each year.
However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to
verify who I am; You know... someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN
AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN!!!...... a country where they either
assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from
the Commonwealth for not having the "right sort of government" .
You are all F*cking idiots!