Proswatch - Long Shot
Any more for anymore?! Skating in on everyone's coat-tails... my take on Long Shot. And boy - LJ really didn't want me to post this - absolute pain in the red trackies this has been! For some reason it is showing as two LJ cuts as well - it is lying, there is just one, and I don't know how to get rid of it! Ah well...
The DVD says: 'In the line of fire… CI5’s gruff leader George Cowley finds himself in the sights of assassin Ramos. Against the backdrop of a conference, Bodie and Doyle must ensure they keep their boss alive…'
Perhaps it is only because I know what Ramos looks like that I am sniggering away like mad over here… but yes, Ramos is the best, the very best. Any other description is banal…
Not England, then… Ramos (dressed in tablecloth) and his mate look like they are intent on a computer game, but no! They are watching a slide show of Cowley, Bodie and Doyle! Filmed at the end of Old Dogs, are we to imagine that Ramos was lurking somewhere behind a car with his cinefilm camcorder whatsit?
And I, Ramos, win again at Pong, as I am the best...
Oh Ramos… I shall let you into a secret here, I have danced with Ramos. Or rather, Roger Lloyd Pack - I used to regularly go to a big lindy hop dance, and Roger (who is an ace lindy hopper!) turned up the first time I went. There was a beginners group that everyone took part in, and you move around a circle, dancing with everyone, and I was very nervous of getting my feet wrong, so was muttering ‘hello’ to everyone and not really looking at anyone, until I moved round, and he replied ‘hello, I’m Roger’ and something about his voice made me look up… and up and up (tall bloke!) and I was like oh, it’s Trigger! (This was a while ago!) Then we twirled around, I did my best not to stomp on his feet and all too soon it was on to the next person! The last time I danced with him he said I was holding my arms wrong - and what do you know, he was right, darn him. *g*
Going back to the ep... Mandy in her car - oh those precise steps must be Ramos, the dastardly villain. Mitchell of course reading the Financial Times… and Ramos is there, looking like someone has stretched the film. The whole of Ramos’ dialogue is absolutely awful. Everything the poor man says is just… words fail me. Who approved this nonsense? The ep is by Anthony Read, hmm, this bloke went on to terrorise tons of children by adapting John Wyndham’s book ‘Chocky’ for ITV. Thanks mate…
Theme - anarchy, acts of terror, ‘special’ men… hehee!
Doyle’s back hand lets him down again at squash, apparently - love this whole scene of them. The new girl dances around on the mats, one of those dangerous ‘women libbers’. Nice adidas bag Doyle has, as well as what looks like his mother’s towel around his neck.
I like how he looks here, all ruffled hair and checked shirt. Bodie is very smart and suave in comparison… nice that they are not book ends. All that talk about letting a woman beat him has obviously gone straight to Doyle’s… imagination.
Or maybe it’s Bodie’s authoritive manner… as he holds his chest, squeezes his arms - happy hands, Bodie has in this ep! Like him taking Ray’s towel, catching his watch - the way he doesn’t have to move his hand much, it’s just yum.
The karate scene - don’t try and out-yelp Doyle, dear, he won’t let you. She is wearing a lot of eye make up for a work up (out), isn’t she? Bodie’s approach is so much more ‘smooth bastard’ somehow - ooo, you could put me on the mat like that anytime - obviously works then. No wonder Doyle looks put out.
And Bodie solicitously tucks her top back - hahaha, oh so seventies. ‘Magic’ he says. Yup, obviously…Oh what would we have given for them to have got back on the mats?!! Sigh… Love Bodie here, makes me smile...
Like the way CI5 HQ has a nice dried flower arrangement by the security desk. Doyle’s voice has gone back to ‘Old Dogs’ style of pronunciation - this was filmed after it, wasn’t it? You can tell. I like the way Cowley burrs ‘mix pleasure with business, Bodie’. Harbinger - makes me laugh every time I hear that name. Doyle: I didn’t know he was coming, Cowley: Good! - nice bit of dialogue, that.
Back to Ramos and his ladder and his man bag… Oh what a pantomime villain he is. That’s right, snag the rat on the wire, and leap off, gazelle like, to the woods as the army boys turn up. I like Bodie and Doyle on the look-out post. River Kwai, eh Colonel?
Love them not being serious, and then switching, and then back. Perfect! And rat-at-tat from Bodie as Doyle looks a bit askance at him - you sort of sense Bodie is a bit younger here, at least I do with this scene, it’s not something that shows up that much.
They are both all gorgeous here… mmm, in fact all is going well… like their clothes, like their looks…
…if only we could ignore that idiot with his medallion lurking in the bushes, and the actual storyline, all would be well.
Bodie looks sort of stuffed into the brown checked shirt here (is it because it’s really Ray’s checked shirt hmm? Hmm?!)
...and the dead rat looks too much like a dead rat to me, eugh. It’s that clunk as it falls back onto the table… let’s look at Doyle instead, mmm.
Conference thing… oh, Bodie’s smile as he sees Doyle, the lean against the window, NAAFI canteen - lovely exchange this. They do mirror each-other’s movements a lot - both with crossed arms, on duty, Doyle all hungry aww.
The two would-be burglars - Sammy is great, but as if that uptight other bloke would be a baddie! Ramos again - ‘EAT!’. Ew, no thanks, looks like it might have lemon curd in it. Now he drives up to the fence in his motorbike - not exactly subtle, is he?
Oh God… it’s the tracksuits - I usually watch this on fast-forward, oh the sacrifice on my eyes. Its just too comedy for me, I think that is the main thing that jars, as well as the horrible trackies. It takes me out of Pros world and into panto, and my Bodie and Doyle do NOT do panto! There, rant over… although the zip does lead straight down to the main bits, I did notice…
Careful though boys, the badger is in its set (or the baddie is in the bushes)…with now his car… so somewhere in these bushes is Ramos’ ladder, motorbike, car… why doesn’t he just build a house there, no one will know!
Ramos succeeds with his dastardly plan… soldier lad - ‘ere, I fink ‘e’s really gonna croak!’ Gor blimey guv’nor! Cowley saves the day, and B & D strike off, panting. Doyle is a lot faster than Bodie…
What big mouths you have, boys. All the better to…
Doyle is angry that the guard was ‘shot in the back’ - doesn’t sit with his sense of fair play, that. They already know of Ramos (what - as the most inept assassin ever?) and… ooo are they not wearing anything under those trackie tops? Sort of looks like it… or perhaps a low vest (to dampen my enthusiasm). Bodie propels Doyle away - happy hands again… oh sorry, was there a plot there?
Ramos has failed! Ramos does not admit to losses! Ramos… ah shut up, Ramos. Doyle again shouts at police officers, Bodie chucks files with a little grin. ‘How good is this bastard?’ Pretty useless, don’t stress too much Bodie.
I like Sammy, he comes across well. Gratitude - well, exactly! Another tease about Doyle being a ‘Constable’ - oo don’t they look hard entering that cell!
Doyle whittling in the bushes, both lads wittering together in the bushes… Nice dialogue, ‘father’ - hee!
And I love the whole taking Sammy along, Bodie’s cheery ‘cmon, lets go!' and of course, Bodie's peach of a bottom...
Oh why couldn’t Doyle have gone over bottom first like Bodie? Like the way Doyle grabs Bodie to pull him back…Love Bodie’s pushing Sammy back to swing first, happy little monkey that he is. Oh Bodie pulling him off the path… and then Doyle pushing him in the back as he nearly endangered him and Bodie… that’s it boys, down on your bellies… Love Doyle’s grab of Bodie and that Bodie doesn’t even turn to look at him - all natural…
In at the trellis window, Doyle counting… and then he’s off, and they cover each others backs - very nice formation, here. Little pats on the back that means things, and then - Ramos! Ah, alas, he is off in his warren somewhere.
Conference over… Love Bodie’s shoving of Doyle - hmm - still at the flirt stage here do you think? Maybe an on / off relationship, nothing serious yet…bouncy happy lads!
Stoopid plot though.
Anyway, Cowley has learnt something - he is the target - lovely bit of grouping, well yes. But Ramos is already there, at the side entrance of CI5 HQ which is unmanned, unguarded and looks like it is regularly used as a tramp’s boudoir. When lost in London, the best thing is to wander up to smelly fire escapes and rap your knuckles on them, someone is bound to help. Especially top secret agencies. They are the most helpful and very unsuspicious. Grr.
Ramos kills his partner because… umm, and then he is in! Tigers, goats - as Callisto said, there are an awful lot of animals in this ep! I always think of that fic - Of Tethered Goats or something, apart from I think its Doyle pretending to be Cowley’s lover which is a bit… hmm, except Ray is a lot more worried about the plan here than Bodie. I think Doyle smells a rat. (Yikes, I hope it’s not still on Cowley’s desk).
Bodie is all pleased that he has guessed right. Doyle is all fierce and angsty. Mmm. I like the ‘lose a good goat’ line. Cleaners in the lift, Ramos scuttling around the empty corridors… yes boys, suspiciously empty!
Cowley is in his closet… Doyle presses the alarm, Ramos shoots the curtain and gets felled by one old man’s blow to the head - hi-yah! We see Cowley nearly naked… which we all wanted, of course. I like the line ‘deal with that’ pointing back to Ramos - who really ought to have comical cartoon birds twittering around his head.
Bodie doesn’t like to be called a cop, Ramos towers over them (as he is well tall, innit?) another 'gorgeous Doyle' shot.
I love the way Doyle grips Ramos by the neck and puts his weight into it.
Ramos is put on a plane, with the relic from the Combat School following him. Bodie and Doyle race to save the girl, (as they couldn’t call ahead on their RT’s because…umm…) and the work men keep on with the demolition ball even though they see people run in because…umm… and…then Bodie and Doyle swing down and save the day!
Old relic takes a heart attack pill (surely not long to go in real life, no?) and Ramos recognises his pill box. It is a message from Cowley… the old goat has won! ‘Anyone we know, sir?’ Nice…
The very end with Susie - at least it ends on a high note for me, as I choke with laughter looking at Bodie’s trousers - he’s turned into Mr Bean for Gawd’s sake, could they get any higher? Simon Cowell, eat your heart out…
