Fic: Exhaustion
Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series
Rating: G
Pairings: pre-Kirk/Spock
Summary: Jim realizes that someone else has been having a hard time since the events on Amerind.
Exhaustion
Jim kept his eyes trained to the floor as he walked down the corridor of the ship. If one more person so much as smiled at him he would be on trial for punching them. Everyone kept telling him how they had missed him, how wonderful it was to have him back. Jim felt anything but wonderful since his return from Amerind. It had been such a short time with her, but it had been good, so good. Strictly speaking he knew that it had been the honeymoon phase of their relationship. That she had not knowing anything about him really. She had only loved the part she had been able to see. Logically he knew he couldn’t have brought her with him to the Enterprise and yet he knew he could never leave her and the child alone; not again. It was easier this way it really was, and thinking like that made him want to throw up.
The events following that had not been all that helpful either. The repairs of the ship had kept him busy, but McCoy had also been hounding him to talk, only Spock let him focus. Although even he did still look for contact and now he had finally persuaded Jim to meet him in his quarters for a game of chess.
Jim arrived at Spock’s door and pushed the buzzer, no response. Jim frowned. Spock had been so insistent on this so why wasn’t he answering the door? He pushed the buzzer again. Once again he got no answer. Frustrated now Jim punched in the override code went inside and found the lights on.
“Mr. Spock?”
He still received no response and as he went further into his first’s quarters Jim found the man on his bed. The sound of light snoring reached his ears. Spock was still in his uniform and lying at an awkward angle, a further indication that he had not intended to fall asleep. Jim wondered if he was sick and he walked over quietly to take a closer look.
Up close the changes to his first officer were gut-punching in their obviousness. The heavy bags under his eyes, the paler skin, the way his uniform seemed too big on him now. Jim was left to wonder if it was really himself McCoy wanted to discuss, or someone else entirely. Jim looked at Spock again. How he had been allowed to get like this!?
It took only a minute for Jim’s mind to recall Spock’s behaviour all through their various assignments over the years. How Jim had thought him not eating for three days during the Pon Farr had been him in one of his contemplated phases. Of Spock working through all that pain on Deneva; staying up late into the night in old New York to discover the truth about Edith Keeler, putting his own health at risk. Yes, he would do that here too, for two months, to ensure his captain’s and the planet’s safety no question; and no one could have stopped him. Jim remembered at that moment that there was someone who cared about him, all of him.
Jim smiled for the first time in days and quietly left the room.
Some hours later Spock woke up to find himself covered up with a blanket and a small bowl of fruit by his bed with a note that simply read ‘thank you’.
The End
Rating: G
Pairings: pre-Kirk/Spock
Summary: Jim realizes that someone else has been having a hard time since the events on Amerind.
Exhaustion
Jim kept his eyes trained to the floor as he walked down the corridor of the ship. If one more person so much as smiled at him he would be on trial for punching them. Everyone kept telling him how they had missed him, how wonderful it was to have him back. Jim felt anything but wonderful since his return from Amerind. It had been such a short time with her, but it had been good, so good. Strictly speaking he knew that it had been the honeymoon phase of their relationship. That she had not knowing anything about him really. She had only loved the part she had been able to see. Logically he knew he couldn’t have brought her with him to the Enterprise and yet he knew he could never leave her and the child alone; not again. It was easier this way it really was, and thinking like that made him want to throw up.
The events following that had not been all that helpful either. The repairs of the ship had kept him busy, but McCoy had also been hounding him to talk, only Spock let him focus. Although even he did still look for contact and now he had finally persuaded Jim to meet him in his quarters for a game of chess.
Jim arrived at Spock’s door and pushed the buzzer, no response. Jim frowned. Spock had been so insistent on this so why wasn’t he answering the door? He pushed the buzzer again. Once again he got no answer. Frustrated now Jim punched in the override code went inside and found the lights on.
“Mr. Spock?”
He still received no response and as he went further into his first’s quarters Jim found the man on his bed. The sound of light snoring reached his ears. Spock was still in his uniform and lying at an awkward angle, a further indication that he had not intended to fall asleep. Jim wondered if he was sick and he walked over quietly to take a closer look.
Up close the changes to his first officer were gut-punching in their obviousness. The heavy bags under his eyes, the paler skin, the way his uniform seemed too big on him now. Jim was left to wonder if it was really himself McCoy wanted to discuss, or someone else entirely. Jim looked at Spock again. How he had been allowed to get like this!?
It took only a minute for Jim’s mind to recall Spock’s behaviour all through their various assignments over the years. How Jim had thought him not eating for three days during the Pon Farr had been him in one of his contemplated phases. Of Spock working through all that pain on Deneva; staying up late into the night in old New York to discover the truth about Edith Keeler, putting his own health at risk. Yes, he would do that here too, for two months, to ensure his captain’s and the planet’s safety no question; and no one could have stopped him. Jim remembered at that moment that there was someone who cared about him, all of him.
Jim smiled for the first time in days and quietly left the room.
Some hours later Spock woke up to find himself covered up with a blanket and a small bowl of fruit by his bed with a note that simply read ‘thank you’.
The End