soft spot
Today I just want to take off and get really lost. I want to go away by myself without anyone around.. nobodies comments, opinions, death threats, etc. Just me and my thoughts. I'm having a really difficult time trying to stay put in one place. Its been 4 months and I already want out. I want to hop in the car and drive until I see state lines.. or the US border. Its my favorite holiday today, but you wouldn't know it from the look on my face. I can't stand being in this skin. I want to be someone else. I don't care who, just not myself anymore, I can't fucking stand it. Even my own family resents me. I've lost too many people I love. I'm tired of failing peoples expectations. I'm tired of being the sad girl. This card has been played out for years but I can't help it. It never stops. I don't want peoples sympathy, I just want understanding. And when I go, please don't cry.