Where has life taken me?
I'm laying here in bed with fatigue on my shoulder poking me saying "It's time to go now, it is time" I hear the voice but I refuse to respond.
About an hour ago or so I went to my closet to look for an owners maunal for a camera that I gave to a friend. I found it (and it's spanish companions) with ease, but I also found a book called "The Meaning of Life" No big deal it's a book. True, yet not.This book was given to me as a christmas present a few years back by my girlfriend at the time. I rember her give me the book, no big deal, I also rember her writing in it to me, once again no big deal, until I read what she wrote. In less then a second I had fallen to the floor with pretty much my entire life flashing before my eyes. Every thing slowed down between Thanksgiving '04 and January '05. Those were the months that we dated. What was between us wasn't supposed to have gotten as deep as it did, nor was it supposed to last as long as it did. I rememer now how great this girl was to me. Probly the greatest. I think she was the only person that ever treated me like I deserved. As much love that went intot hat realtionship there is one incident that I remember. We had a fight and I wanted to work it out so bad so we went for a drive, and started talking. I remember pissing her off even more and on a dark road on the east side of Oahu her eyes lit up. They lit up in a way that I have only seen once before. It was the look of pure hate. I know that she didn't hate me but she did at the time. Anyway, she taught me something that I will never forget. "Don't ever give up on something that you belive in, if you are pastionate about it you will fight for it" Now that I think about it that was one of her major problems with me is I had no passions. I had nothing that I sank my heart and soul into. I didn't even realise it until just now. The worst part about it is that I still don't. Not the kind of passiont hat she spoke of anyway. I think about it and I still love her. There is one song that reminds me of her. and she reminds me of it. I have no earthly clue as to why other then i remember hearing it in her house. Big Yellow Taxi. Counting Crows version.
Moving along. I decided to jump on MOL (Marine On Line) and look her up. With no problem I found her. Now the question is do I write to her or not? We did have a bad break up. But, While on MOL I had more flashback about the miltary and everything I lost over sex. Sex has ruined my life. People wonder why I don't chase after it like most guys. Well my friends here is why. Do I like it? Yes Will I deny it? No. Will I go searching for it? No.
Well end of rant. Suggestions? Comments? Concerns?
About an hour ago or so I went to my closet to look for an owners maunal for a camera that I gave to a friend. I found it (and it's spanish companions) with ease, but I also found a book called "The Meaning of Life" No big deal it's a book. True, yet not.This book was given to me as a christmas present a few years back by my girlfriend at the time. I rember her give me the book, no big deal, I also rember her writing in it to me, once again no big deal, until I read what she wrote. In less then a second I had fallen to the floor with pretty much my entire life flashing before my eyes. Every thing slowed down between Thanksgiving '04 and January '05. Those were the months that we dated. What was between us wasn't supposed to have gotten as deep as it did, nor was it supposed to last as long as it did. I rememer now how great this girl was to me. Probly the greatest. I think she was the only person that ever treated me like I deserved. As much love that went intot hat realtionship there is one incident that I remember. We had a fight and I wanted to work it out so bad so we went for a drive, and started talking. I remember pissing her off even more and on a dark road on the east side of Oahu her eyes lit up. They lit up in a way that I have only seen once before. It was the look of pure hate. I know that she didn't hate me but she did at the time. Anyway, she taught me something that I will never forget. "Don't ever give up on something that you belive in, if you are pastionate about it you will fight for it" Now that I think about it that was one of her major problems with me is I had no passions. I had nothing that I sank my heart and soul into. I didn't even realise it until just now. The worst part about it is that I still don't. Not the kind of passiont hat she spoke of anyway. I think about it and I still love her. There is one song that reminds me of her. and she reminds me of it. I have no earthly clue as to why other then i remember hearing it in her house. Big Yellow Taxi. Counting Crows version.
Moving along. I decided to jump on MOL (Marine On Line) and look her up. With no problem I found her. Now the question is do I write to her or not? We did have a bad break up. But, While on MOL I had more flashback about the miltary and everything I lost over sex. Sex has ruined my life. People wonder why I don't chase after it like most guys. Well my friends here is why. Do I like it? Yes Will I deny it? No. Will I go searching for it? No.
Well end of rant. Suggestions? Comments? Concerns?