Title: "Hero"
Author: Kat Lee
Rating: PG/K+
Summary:
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, names, codenames, places, items, fandoms, titles, and etc. are always © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Any and all original characters and everything else is © & TM the author and may not be reproduced in any way without the author's express, written permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
She watches him sitting alone in his corner with his cards and whiskey as his mother leaves. He watches as the town's other six protectors slowly file in to the saloon afterwards, each, even JD, ordering alcohol already that day and looking forlornly at their friend who refuses to meet any of their gazes. She watches, throughout the day, as each of the others goes to him, plays a game with him, and tries to talk to him, and he shuts them out again. She watches as he beats opponent after opponent but never smiles or takes any seeming joy in his wins.
She watches as he finishes one long bottle of whiskey after another. She doesn't refuse his request for he's actually talking to her, even if it's just to order more alcohol to dull his pain. She puts food in front of him, free meals of delicious enchiladas that she knows he usually loves and which he's never refused before, but she eventually takes every plate, still full, away and dumps the food behind the saloon, both for the stray animals and the penniless scoundrels she knows dip into her trash.
She watches Chris and Vin conversing quietly with the Preacher before approaching Ezra, but even the three of them together can not pull him out of the darkness that has settled around him. She keeps note with Nathan as he drinks and wonders how he manages to hold it all in. She's never known a man to hold his liqueur as well as Ezra Standish does, but then she suspects the poor dear's been drinking ever since he was old enough to hold a bottle. His mother certainly wouldn't have cared, and it's because of her that he seeks it still, trying in vain to make obsolete all that she's done to him.
Inez is almost in tears herself as she cleans up for the night. Every one else is gone but herself and Ezra, who still sits at the same table, playing round after round of Solitaire. She breaks a bottle, trying to get his attention, but he doesn't even look up. Vin enters, cleans the mess for her, tends her hands, and tries, yet again, to speak to him. He shakes his head when Ezra continues to refuse to open up, tips his hat to her, the sadness in his sky blue eyes matching the forlornness in her own heart, and leaves.
She hears Chris cussing outside. He's welcome to come in -- they all know that --, but he won't for he still doesn't know what to do. They're all watching Ezra drink himself in to the same hole in which the man in black placed himself, but unlike Vin and Buck, none of them seem capable of reaching Ezra. She sees a shadow move in the corner of the door and knows it's Josiah, saying another silent prayer to the Lord to help Ezra.
He won't look up. He won't look at any of them now. Earlier today, he would at least meet their gazes and pretend nothing was wrong, but now he just keeps playing one card after another. Inez continues to watch him as he plays and she washes the dishes. She can barely see him through the tears silently falling down her dark cheeks, but she does see him and watches him intently just as she's been doing all night long.
She's careful with the glasses but holds the pans and skillets so hard that her grip hurts her own hands. She wishes the objects she's clutching were Maude Standish's neck. She'd like to borrow Vin's musket and blow the woman away for what she's done to her son. Ezra did right. He saved the whole town just last night, but the gratitude Maude showed him was to rail on him for risking his life and leave immediately thereafter.
How can a woman be so cruel, Inez wonders, especially to her own son? She was proud of Ezra. They all were, all but Maude, and her opinion was what mattered the most though he'd never admit it. He'd saved her, too, but still, she left him after talking to him as though he was no more important to her, no grander, than a dog. Inez cusses the woman with every dark word she knows of her native language, but still Ezra doesn't look up, though knowing every word she says.
Her hands are shaking when she starts turning out her lights. She carries a single lantern over to his table, sits it down, and looks at his weary face in its pale light. He appears to be intently concentrating on his cards, but now, at this late hour, with it being just the two of them, at last, she sees the tears shining in his eyes. They're there, bless him, but still, he won't let them fall. He won't let them fall, and he won't stop drinking. He won't open up, and he won't let them help him.
She watches as he lays the wrong card down in his game, raises his bottle, presses it to his lips, and takes another slug. She knows he usually sips his whiskey, but not today and not tonight. He wants to drown in it. He thinks it can ease his pain if he drinks enough, though he's already drank enough to float him down the Mississippi and back, but she knows it can not. Only love can heal a broken heart. She knows that well, because it was Ezra and his friends who first mended her heart and gave her something in which to believe.
Inez sighs, and then, she does something she's been wanting all day to do. She did it quickly last night when he saved all of their lives, but she wanted to do it again, in front of Maude even, when the old woman tore his heart and soul to pieces with her vicious, uncaring words. Standing behind Ezra and acting quickly, Inez wraps her arms around the gambler and, for just a brief moment, holds him tight in a gentle, reassuring hug against her heart.
He won't hurt her. She knows he's far too much of a gentleman to ever harm a lady, which is part of the reason why he still won't stand up enough for himself to his mother and part of the reason, too, why he persists in caring so much about her, the way she treats him, and what she thinks of him. "I don't care," Inez whispers to him, knowing he could pull easily out of her hold and thanking God that he doesn't, "what she says, Senor Standish, you are a hero."
Then she makes one move more, kisses him on the cheek, and walks out to leave him with his thoughts. She waits a moment, then peers around the corner, hoping and praying he won't see her. She's rewarded with the most beautiful sight she's seen all day as his tiny smile flashes his gold tooth in the failing light. He's packed his cards away, and she knows he'll finally get some rest. He'll rest, she thinks, rushing on to her bedroom, and prays that tomorrow will be a better day for them all.
Outside, Vin lowers his spyglass and announces with a rush of relief, "She did it."
Buck whoops; Chris grins. JD snores until Buck tackles him, and Josiah speaks the words that every one of them is thinking though only he'll say them, "Thank the Lord."
Ezra, meanwhile, retires for the night without another whisky bottle, smiling and knowing that somebody cares and loves him despite all his faults.
The End