Right Branch Wrong Branch.
Well, it appears that stupidity has invaded the Internet! No longer is it confined to Italian zombie movies, movies in which idiotic characters do an endless number of idiotic things while the world is falling apart around their ears, but now it's found a new place on Fundy Wacko Christian websites!
I recently was told about a site linked to a Christian group known as Right Branch Ministry. I took a look at the site to see what they were going on about and found a lot of things to talk about. The first thing I've got to say is, "Learn to spell before you start spouting a bunch of stupid shit on the net, even if it is only a Christian site. If you're wanting to convince people that what you're saying is true, it's a good idea to make sure your potential readers know what the hell you're even talking about.
First of all, the word you're looking for in what passes for the first sentence in the article on occultism is from, not form. I know that's beyond first grade, but seriously, if you're writing something you expect other people to read, you could at least make the attempt.
Now, onto the article itself. The writer of this piece of non-intellect claims that throughout her life, she had gone to fortune tellers and regularly had problems as a result of demonic activity taking place in her life. I thought this idiot was living in South America, not Amityville. From there, she went on to claim that the Harry Potter books were actually based on true accounts, that the spells actually work (if the spells in the harry potter books really work, why is it I never managed to clean up a spill by pointing a little stick at it and saying Skergefy?) that the books mentioned in the Harry Potter stories actually exist (hey, where can I get copies?) that Lord Vuldimort actually was running around together with a bunch of death Eaters, killing people, destroying bridges, wrecking perfectly good neighborhoods, and generally making an enormous pain in the ass of himself. Now come on, if all that shit was actually happening, why is it I never heard anything about it on the news?
It is also said that people are keeping owls as pets (why the hell don't they sell them in pet stores?) and that other various creatures such as Blast-ended Skroots could be real (Hey, give me one of those to give my noisy neighbor!) and that there are literally millions of wizards and witches working behind the scenes to hand us all over to Satan.
Along with playing the doccu-drama card, the author of the Harry Potter books also, according to this modern-day example of caveman-like stupidity, is involved in some sort of vast satanic plot to make sure all our kids sell their souls to Satan before the sun goes down. She also is said to never do interviews (if she doesn't do interviews, how is it that I've seen interview segments with her present on all the Harry Potter DVDs?) and that she is attempting to keep a bunch of secrecy going. Come on, if that's the case, why is it that she has been seen in public?
According to this asshole, our children will finish up demon possessed, our houses will finish up just like 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville, and parents will themselves finish up with so many demons inn them that they'd make the possessed man who called himself Legion look like a trick or treater! I've read the Harry Potter books, all seven of them, and am not possessed yet. Why isn't my head spinning around? Why am I not shitting my pants uncontrollably? Why am I not speaking in reverse English? Why hasn't anyone been tossed out my apartment window with their heads turned around backwards? Why haven't any neighbors complained about furniture flying around the place, thumping against walls, floors, and ceilings? Why have there been no complaints concerning fowl odors coming from my place of residence? Why haven't I decided to make a few Horkruxes yet? Hmmmm. You think it may have something to do with the fact that this stupid fundy cunt is full of so much shit she squeaks going into a turn?
And that's just where the idiocy gets started! The idiots at Right Branch Ministry claim that everything that isn't of them, not God but them, is of the Devil, including the Roman Catholic church! Hmmmm. My roommate is Catholic and she's not possessed either. And as if that weren't enough, they claim that anything and everything will get you possessed. I didn't know it was that damn easy! If you listen to them, there are demons just waiting around every corner for someone to whistle and say, "Here, demon demon demon demon demon!" And I thought that type of stupidity only existed in the movies!
Now to deal with what these idiots said about the Catholic church. They claim that the Catholics worship Mary and claim that she herself is a god. wait a minute, I thought the female form of God was Goddess. Oh well, what can we expect from a bunch of idiots who made so many grammatical errors throughout the various articles that they would make a first grade English teacher's head explode in disbelief? They claim that the worship of idols always brings a curse on the worshiper (If Catholics are idol worshipers and are, according to these idiots' logic, under a curse, why haven't any of them suffered a sudden and unexpected case of demonic possession, a catastrophic explosion that destroyed their homes, and constant illnesses ending in painful unexplained death?) The Catholics, regardless of what these assholes at Wrong branch Ministry claim, do not worship Mary, they honor her as the Mother of Christ. As to the figures of the various saints, now. They're no more idols than the figures of Mary are. Never ever have I seen a cursed Catholic, but I've seen dozens, no, hundreds, no, thousands of cursed fundy wackos! If you're looking for people who have nothing going right in their lives, look no further. Never have I seen a satisfied fundy. Their lives have gone to shit, their marriages are usually right on the brink of total disintegration, their friendships are non-existent, their health sucks, their life expectancy is shorter than anyone else's, their weight is totally out of control, thanks to everything but eating being a sin, and they're prime candidates for massive heart attacks before they reach the age of 50! Now isn't that a curse?
And their usual response to all these things being pointed out is, "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord." Wait a minute, is it good that they're dying of illnesses that in some cases nobody else ever even heard of? Is it good that they're lives are totally and completely fucked up? Is it good that from among their ranks come child molesters, rapists, murderers, whoremasters, thieves, extortionists, and all manner of criminal filth? Is it good that they're working from a book that has been bastardized and edited so much that nobody apart from gifted linguists even knows what the original texts contained? I don't think so. They also, speaking of the book, work from an incomplete version. Six books from the Old Testament are missing, making the total of books they work from 66. Now let's take a look at a verse from their own bible. "Here is wisdom. Let him who hath understanding count the number of The beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is 666." Now if they were on the right track, would they allow such a number to define their so-called holy texts? Hmmmmm. Something's wrong here! Something quite definitely stinks!
Let's now take a look at one of the warnings in their own Bible and put that together with what I said about books being missing. In what they call the book of Revelation, there's a warning concerning itself with adding to or taking away from the holy writings. isn't that exactly what King James had done when he made sure that at least 6 books were excised from the Old testament and God alone knows how many from the new? according to research I've done, there are at least 3 letters from Paul that are not included, and there are also a couple Gospels missing. Now there's a hell of a lot of taking away from going on! Looks like someone's gonna do a lot of plague suffering!
Now to the healing's, speaking in tongues, and other assorted junk these idiots call a church service. The speaking in tongues occurs in a lot of Pentecostal churches and is always linked, by them, to a prayer language given by god, as the humans, being wretched sinner sinners, don't have the intellect to know what to pray for, so the spirit (what spirit?) takes over and does the praying. I personally would never give myself over to something that speaks in another language for which I don't have a translation to do my praying for me. Who knows what they're praying for.
The healing by means of the "laying on of hands," now. There's so much fakery going on that it's difficult to say what's real and what isn't, but some have been proven true. My question is, who or what is really responsible? I'm led back to something said in the article concerning the worship of idols. The writer of said article said that the worshipers of idols finish up totally dependant on their idols and that they regularly carry out animal and human sacrifices to them (what animal and human sacrifices?) and that the idols place them under eternal bondage. These people who finish up healed end up totally dependant on their church. some of them even finish up getting rid of their Doctors, believing that all they have to do is go to church on Sunday, have some idiot who doesn't have a job during the week lay his or her hands on them, speak in some other language even they don't know, and pow! they're healed! And I've already pointed out the curse angle in such a situation.
Supernatural activity goes on in such places a lot, and a lot of it is totally not good. levitation, trances, cars being pushed by unseen forces, sound like a horror movie to you? Sure it does. Some of the same stuff happened in Children of the Corn and the Omen. And don't even get me started on horror movies. These idiots claim that the TV is a great way for demons to enter the house (watched any poltergeist, idiots?) and that horror movies will get you possessed (am I the only one who thinks these people should be immediately and permanently institutionalized?) and that anything that doesn't say "Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus" eighty million times in a single second is evil. Insanity alert!
I'm glad I don't have to read too much of this absolute stupidity to draw a conclusion. If I had to subject myself to too much of it, I'd be pounding my head off walls to try to make sense of it all. And the thing that really scares me is that these people could be extremely dangerous if they had a little intelligence informing them and their decisions. It's a good thing they're so stupid nobody but people who are stupider than they are themselves would even think of swallowing this long tub of warm crap!
Things I learned from right Branch Ministry:
1. Harry Potter actually exists and is going around England at this very moment doing magic and hiding his existence from all the Muggles out there.
2. Demons are constantly on the prowl looking for people to possess.
3. TV sets are full of demons.
4. Everyone who doesn't subscribe to Right Branch Ministry's beliefs is automatically demon possessed.
5. Speaking another language is the in thing, just as long as you don't have the slightest fucking clue what you're saying.
6. Having a harry Potter poster in your bedroom is an automatic one-way ticket to possession, the opening of the gates of Hell, and the emerging of the Anti Christ..
7. You can believe any way you want, just as long as you believe the way we want you to.
8. Idiocy is the in thing, especially if you're a member of our church.
9. Catholics carry out animal and human sacrifices.
10. Mary is a god. Not only that, she's a male.
11. Horror movies were invented by Satan thousands of years ago.
12. Bad things will happen to you if you don't believe the way we tell you to. We'll make sure of it!
13. Healing's are a regular part of life. Screw Doctors!
14. Owls are sold as pets.
15. The harry Potter spell books are real and can be bought in any store.
16. Parents can become possessed because of what their children are reading!
17. God punishes whole countries with famine and drout if they don't worship him.
18. September 11, 2001 was God's judgement on America, the nation that worships him the most!
I recently was told about a site linked to a Christian group known as Right Branch Ministry. I took a look at the site to see what they were going on about and found a lot of things to talk about. The first thing I've got to say is, "Learn to spell before you start spouting a bunch of stupid shit on the net, even if it is only a Christian site. If you're wanting to convince people that what you're saying is true, it's a good idea to make sure your potential readers know what the hell you're even talking about.
First of all, the word you're looking for in what passes for the first sentence in the article on occultism is from, not form. I know that's beyond first grade, but seriously, if you're writing something you expect other people to read, you could at least make the attempt.
Now, onto the article itself. The writer of this piece of non-intellect claims that throughout her life, she had gone to fortune tellers and regularly had problems as a result of demonic activity taking place in her life. I thought this idiot was living in South America, not Amityville. From there, she went on to claim that the Harry Potter books were actually based on true accounts, that the spells actually work (if the spells in the harry potter books really work, why is it I never managed to clean up a spill by pointing a little stick at it and saying Skergefy?) that the books mentioned in the Harry Potter stories actually exist (hey, where can I get copies?) that Lord Vuldimort actually was running around together with a bunch of death Eaters, killing people, destroying bridges, wrecking perfectly good neighborhoods, and generally making an enormous pain in the ass of himself. Now come on, if all that shit was actually happening, why is it I never heard anything about it on the news?
It is also said that people are keeping owls as pets (why the hell don't they sell them in pet stores?) and that other various creatures such as Blast-ended Skroots could be real (Hey, give me one of those to give my noisy neighbor!) and that there are literally millions of wizards and witches working behind the scenes to hand us all over to Satan.
Along with playing the doccu-drama card, the author of the Harry Potter books also, according to this modern-day example of caveman-like stupidity, is involved in some sort of vast satanic plot to make sure all our kids sell their souls to Satan before the sun goes down. She also is said to never do interviews (if she doesn't do interviews, how is it that I've seen interview segments with her present on all the Harry Potter DVDs?) and that she is attempting to keep a bunch of secrecy going. Come on, if that's the case, why is it that she has been seen in public?
According to this asshole, our children will finish up demon possessed, our houses will finish up just like 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville, and parents will themselves finish up with so many demons inn them that they'd make the possessed man who called himself Legion look like a trick or treater! I've read the Harry Potter books, all seven of them, and am not possessed yet. Why isn't my head spinning around? Why am I not shitting my pants uncontrollably? Why am I not speaking in reverse English? Why hasn't anyone been tossed out my apartment window with their heads turned around backwards? Why haven't any neighbors complained about furniture flying around the place, thumping against walls, floors, and ceilings? Why have there been no complaints concerning fowl odors coming from my place of residence? Why haven't I decided to make a few Horkruxes yet? Hmmmm. You think it may have something to do with the fact that this stupid fundy cunt is full of so much shit she squeaks going into a turn?
And that's just where the idiocy gets started! The idiots at Right Branch Ministry claim that everything that isn't of them, not God but them, is of the Devil, including the Roman Catholic church! Hmmmm. My roommate is Catholic and she's not possessed either. And as if that weren't enough, they claim that anything and everything will get you possessed. I didn't know it was that damn easy! If you listen to them, there are demons just waiting around every corner for someone to whistle and say, "Here, demon demon demon demon demon!" And I thought that type of stupidity only existed in the movies!
Now to deal with what these idiots said about the Catholic church. They claim that the Catholics worship Mary and claim that she herself is a god. wait a minute, I thought the female form of God was Goddess. Oh well, what can we expect from a bunch of idiots who made so many grammatical errors throughout the various articles that they would make a first grade English teacher's head explode in disbelief? They claim that the worship of idols always brings a curse on the worshiper (If Catholics are idol worshipers and are, according to these idiots' logic, under a curse, why haven't any of them suffered a sudden and unexpected case of demonic possession, a catastrophic explosion that destroyed their homes, and constant illnesses ending in painful unexplained death?) The Catholics, regardless of what these assholes at Wrong branch Ministry claim, do not worship Mary, they honor her as the Mother of Christ. As to the figures of the various saints, now. They're no more idols than the figures of Mary are. Never ever have I seen a cursed Catholic, but I've seen dozens, no, hundreds, no, thousands of cursed fundy wackos! If you're looking for people who have nothing going right in their lives, look no further. Never have I seen a satisfied fundy. Their lives have gone to shit, their marriages are usually right on the brink of total disintegration, their friendships are non-existent, their health sucks, their life expectancy is shorter than anyone else's, their weight is totally out of control, thanks to everything but eating being a sin, and they're prime candidates for massive heart attacks before they reach the age of 50! Now isn't that a curse?
And their usual response to all these things being pointed out is, "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord." Wait a minute, is it good that they're dying of illnesses that in some cases nobody else ever even heard of? Is it good that they're lives are totally and completely fucked up? Is it good that from among their ranks come child molesters, rapists, murderers, whoremasters, thieves, extortionists, and all manner of criminal filth? Is it good that they're working from a book that has been bastardized and edited so much that nobody apart from gifted linguists even knows what the original texts contained? I don't think so. They also, speaking of the book, work from an incomplete version. Six books from the Old Testament are missing, making the total of books they work from 66. Now let's take a look at a verse from their own bible. "Here is wisdom. Let him who hath understanding count the number of The beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is 666." Now if they were on the right track, would they allow such a number to define their so-called holy texts? Hmmmmm. Something's wrong here! Something quite definitely stinks!
Let's now take a look at one of the warnings in their own Bible and put that together with what I said about books being missing. In what they call the book of Revelation, there's a warning concerning itself with adding to or taking away from the holy writings. isn't that exactly what King James had done when he made sure that at least 6 books were excised from the Old testament and God alone knows how many from the new? according to research I've done, there are at least 3 letters from Paul that are not included, and there are also a couple Gospels missing. Now there's a hell of a lot of taking away from going on! Looks like someone's gonna do a lot of plague suffering!
Now to the healing's, speaking in tongues, and other assorted junk these idiots call a church service. The speaking in tongues occurs in a lot of Pentecostal churches and is always linked, by them, to a prayer language given by god, as the humans, being wretched sinner sinners, don't have the intellect to know what to pray for, so the spirit (what spirit?) takes over and does the praying. I personally would never give myself over to something that speaks in another language for which I don't have a translation to do my praying for me. Who knows what they're praying for.
The healing by means of the "laying on of hands," now. There's so much fakery going on that it's difficult to say what's real and what isn't, but some have been proven true. My question is, who or what is really responsible? I'm led back to something said in the article concerning the worship of idols. The writer of said article said that the worshipers of idols finish up totally dependant on their idols and that they regularly carry out animal and human sacrifices to them (what animal and human sacrifices?) and that the idols place them under eternal bondage. These people who finish up healed end up totally dependant on their church. some of them even finish up getting rid of their Doctors, believing that all they have to do is go to church on Sunday, have some idiot who doesn't have a job during the week lay his or her hands on them, speak in some other language even they don't know, and pow! they're healed! And I've already pointed out the curse angle in such a situation.
Supernatural activity goes on in such places a lot, and a lot of it is totally not good. levitation, trances, cars being pushed by unseen forces, sound like a horror movie to you? Sure it does. Some of the same stuff happened in Children of the Corn and the Omen. And don't even get me started on horror movies. These idiots claim that the TV is a great way for demons to enter the house (watched any poltergeist, idiots?) and that horror movies will get you possessed (am I the only one who thinks these people should be immediately and permanently institutionalized?) and that anything that doesn't say "Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus" eighty million times in a single second is evil. Insanity alert!
I'm glad I don't have to read too much of this absolute stupidity to draw a conclusion. If I had to subject myself to too much of it, I'd be pounding my head off walls to try to make sense of it all. And the thing that really scares me is that these people could be extremely dangerous if they had a little intelligence informing them and their decisions. It's a good thing they're so stupid nobody but people who are stupider than they are themselves would even think of swallowing this long tub of warm crap!
Things I learned from right Branch Ministry:
1. Harry Potter actually exists and is going around England at this very moment doing magic and hiding his existence from all the Muggles out there.
2. Demons are constantly on the prowl looking for people to possess.
3. TV sets are full of demons.
4. Everyone who doesn't subscribe to Right Branch Ministry's beliefs is automatically demon possessed.
5. Speaking another language is the in thing, just as long as you don't have the slightest fucking clue what you're saying.
6. Having a harry Potter poster in your bedroom is an automatic one-way ticket to possession, the opening of the gates of Hell, and the emerging of the Anti Christ..
7. You can believe any way you want, just as long as you believe the way we want you to.
8. Idiocy is the in thing, especially if you're a member of our church.
9. Catholics carry out animal and human sacrifices.
10. Mary is a god. Not only that, she's a male.
11. Horror movies were invented by Satan thousands of years ago.
12. Bad things will happen to you if you don't believe the way we tell you to. We'll make sure of it!
13. Healing's are a regular part of life. Screw Doctors!
14. Owls are sold as pets.
15. The harry Potter spell books are real and can be bought in any store.
16. Parents can become possessed because of what their children are reading!
17. God punishes whole countries with famine and drout if they don't worship him.
18. September 11, 2001 was God's judgement on America, the nation that worships him the most!