(no subject)
i've wanted to write for a while now, but i'm afraid to write so much of what i want to because i'm sick of crying.
there are still things that happened this year that i just can't deal with yet. i want to be able to be ok with the way things have happened and how life is right now, but i'm not yet. i can't think about it right now, i need to be happy again. fuck you for actually making me happy when you were around... you've spoiled it now.
i'm sick of not being 21. i can't do anything in this goddamn state being underage. all i want is to be able to go out and hang out with friends. is that so much to ask? i can't even go to a bar with them and have a coke, because thats against hte law in indiana. and lord knows why would they want to chill around campus if they can go out.
speaking of campus, this place is dead in the summer. south bend may possibly be the most boring place in the world. such a change from last summer in london. i really hope i can go back there next summer. i could not deal with spending another summer here. there is absolutely nothing happening. the mall closes early, i don't have a car and there isn't really anywhere to go. even lafun closes at 11, plus what would i do at lafun by myself. i feel like i have spent my entire summer sitting on the first floor of PE. i definitely should be studying right now, but i don't want to right now. i am going to study most of the night tomorrow, with the exception of the few hours i will spend at Legends watching Snatch.
so its the fourth of july and i am sitting alone watching the Boston Pops show, which sad for me is no longer called "Pops Goes the Fourth" and god Keith Lockhart looks so much older. the pops are so good. i haven't gone to that in a number of years. actually, we never went on the fourth, just around it. but it reminds me of home, which is someplace i would really like to be right now. oo a trumpet. i think i actually have to go in the lab tomorrow :( i don't wanna. but i probably should do some work.
wow ther is a woman painted up like the statue of liberty- she was standing so still i thought it was a statue for a while. i really want to just walk around campus right now, but i don't feel like being alone. too bad there is no one around besides jeff and he's out at corbys actually celebrating the holiday. i got so used to being able to go out last summer that this is a huge shock even after deal with it all year.
i need a life... most definitely.
steven tyler and joe perry are playing with the pops this year. god i love joe perry, he's quite good looking for his age.
so yeah i guess that is all for now.
there are still things that happened this year that i just can't deal with yet. i want to be able to be ok with the way things have happened and how life is right now, but i'm not yet. i can't think about it right now, i need to be happy again. fuck you for actually making me happy when you were around... you've spoiled it now.
i'm sick of not being 21. i can't do anything in this goddamn state being underage. all i want is to be able to go out and hang out with friends. is that so much to ask? i can't even go to a bar with them and have a coke, because thats against hte law in indiana. and lord knows why would they want to chill around campus if they can go out.
speaking of campus, this place is dead in the summer. south bend may possibly be the most boring place in the world. such a change from last summer in london. i really hope i can go back there next summer. i could not deal with spending another summer here. there is absolutely nothing happening. the mall closes early, i don't have a car and there isn't really anywhere to go. even lafun closes at 11, plus what would i do at lafun by myself. i feel like i have spent my entire summer sitting on the first floor of PE. i definitely should be studying right now, but i don't want to right now. i am going to study most of the night tomorrow, with the exception of the few hours i will spend at Legends watching Snatch.
so its the fourth of july and i am sitting alone watching the Boston Pops show, which sad for me is no longer called "Pops Goes the Fourth" and god Keith Lockhart looks so much older. the pops are so good. i haven't gone to that in a number of years. actually, we never went on the fourth, just around it. but it reminds me of home, which is someplace i would really like to be right now. oo a trumpet. i think i actually have to go in the lab tomorrow :( i don't wanna. but i probably should do some work.
wow ther is a woman painted up like the statue of liberty- she was standing so still i thought it was a statue for a while. i really want to just walk around campus right now, but i don't feel like being alone. too bad there is no one around besides jeff and he's out at corbys actually celebrating the holiday. i got so used to being able to go out last summer that this is a huge shock even after deal with it all year.
i need a life... most definitely.
steven tyler and joe perry are playing with the pops this year. god i love joe perry, he's quite good looking for his age.
so yeah i guess that is all for now.