on not being wanted
so i had an away message up today about how i love the feeling of not being wanted around and thanks so much for that. obviously this was me being sarcastic and making a comment towards a boy who made me feel that way today.
two of my "friends" leave for europe tomorrow afternoon for spring break. i usually have lunch with these two and another boy on wednesdays and after class i asked boy number 3 if he was going to lunch. he said yes and walked away giving me a death glare. obviously i was not wanted at lunch so instead of just showing up where i wasn't wanted i went back to my room and went with some dorm friends. this has been happening a lot lately with these boys and i don't know whats wrong.
now i have this HUGE lab report due tomorrow that i am freaking out about so i went over to st. mary's to work on it with my lab partner. when i got back i was going to run to dinner with the roommate before my office hours which go from 7-9. I got back a little later than planned- 6:30 and had a lovely couple of messages left for me by boy number 3 on aim. basically bitching me out and telling me how i didn't care at all about his feeling and what happened to him and if that was how it was going to be i could fucking forget it and do my work by myself. i don't want to try and explain what the doing work by myself is all about 'cause it will take too long, but if you want the whole explanation ask.
basically he got bitched out by the first "friend" for soemthing he did and in turn bitched me out fo my supposed part in all this. so i spent a good twenty minutes sobbing crying and feeling like i wanted to throw up. i have tried so hard over the past 2.5 years (ever since i've known boy number 3) to make friends with him and he just isn't having any of it. my roommate imed him and asked what was up because i just couldn't bring myself to say anything back. so i finally stopped crying long enough to go to my office hours. time to work :(
i'm soooooo upset....
two of my "friends" leave for europe tomorrow afternoon for spring break. i usually have lunch with these two and another boy on wednesdays and after class i asked boy number 3 if he was going to lunch. he said yes and walked away giving me a death glare. obviously i was not wanted at lunch so instead of just showing up where i wasn't wanted i went back to my room and went with some dorm friends. this has been happening a lot lately with these boys and i don't know whats wrong.
now i have this HUGE lab report due tomorrow that i am freaking out about so i went over to st. mary's to work on it with my lab partner. when i got back i was going to run to dinner with the roommate before my office hours which go from 7-9. I got back a little later than planned- 6:30 and had a lovely couple of messages left for me by boy number 3 on aim. basically bitching me out and telling me how i didn't care at all about his feeling and what happened to him and if that was how it was going to be i could fucking forget it and do my work by myself. i don't want to try and explain what the doing work by myself is all about 'cause it will take too long, but if you want the whole explanation ask.
basically he got bitched out by the first "friend" for soemthing he did and in turn bitched me out fo my supposed part in all this. so i spent a good twenty minutes sobbing crying and feeling like i wanted to throw up. i have tried so hard over the past 2.5 years (ever since i've known boy number 3) to make friends with him and he just isn't having any of it. my roommate imed him and asked what was up because i just couldn't bring myself to say anything back. so i finally stopped crying long enough to go to my office hours. time to work :(
i'm soooooo upset....