The Price of Peace (HP/LV/SS, NC-17), Chapter 3
The Price of Peace
by Maeglin Yedi
Pairing: Harry/Voldemort/Snape, other minor pairings (both het and slash)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They all belong to J.K. Rowling. I just make them shag.
Warnings: AU from HBP onwards
Summary: After ten years of peace, there is now a price to pay, as Harry discovers.
A/N: Sequel to The Semblance of Peace. You should definitely read that story first, otherwise this one won't make much sense.
Big thanks to fluffyllama for the beta!
The next morning Harry woke up first, and even though his dreams had been fitful his mood was improved. He crawled out of bed, careful not to wake his lovers, went in search for his pyjama bottoms and his dressing gown since they always slept in the nude, and then made his way down to the kitchen.
He got the dishes from the previous night going with a spell, put the kettle on, and got the table ready for breakfast. He made toast, got some bacon frying and when he was ready to scramble some eggs, Voldemort and Snape walked into the kitchen.
Voldemort poured them all a cup of tea while Snape divided the toast and bacon between their plates.
"Who's the owl for?" Voldemort asked as he sat down at the table.
Harry looked up from the stove. "What owl?"
Rolling his eyes, Snape pointed his finger at the window, where an eagle owl sat waiting patiently, a scroll tied to its leg.
"Ah." Harry opened the window and let the owl inside. He hadn't noticed it before and ignored Voldemort's amused snort. The owl hopped up on the back of a chair and held its leg out to Harry, who looked at the scroll in puzzlement as he untied it.
"It's from Hogwarts," he mumbled, offering the owl half a strip of bacon. The owl accepted and flew out the window. Harry unrolled the scroll and read out loud.
Dear Mr Potter,
It has come to our attention that you have returned to Britain after your many years of travelling abroad. It is therefore my pleasure to offer you the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor for the upcoming school year, starting September 1st.
With your skills and experience it is our belief you will be perfect for the job. Please come to Hogwarts today at noon so we may discuss your employment in further detail.
Most sincerely,
Casimir Croaker
Headmaster of Hogwarts
Harry lowered the letter, and stared at Voldemort and Snape in bewilderment. Snape threw his head back and laughed, but Voldemort's expression was rather pinched.
"You're not going to accept that," Voldemort said, and it sounded more like an order than a request.
"Of course not," Harry mumbled. He had no desire to teach, especially not at Hogwarts.
Snape, who'd taken over scrambling the eggs from Harry, carried the skillet to the table. "Well, now at least we have an official appointment with Croaker."
"You will decline his offer, and I will offer my services instead." Voldemort glared at Harry, and Harry rolled his eyes and then nodded.
Crumbling the letter up into a ball, Harry sat down at the table. "We'll stick to the plan."
"See that you do." Voldemort gave Harry one last glare and started on his breakfast. Harry exchanged an amused glance with Snape and then quickly hid his smile with a bite of bacon.
After breakfast they made their way upstairs to get dressed.
"Now that we'll be meeting the new Headmaster in his office, there is still the matter of the portraits," Snape said as he sat on the edge of the bed and tied his shoes.
"Hmm." Voldemort turned towards his trunk and opened it. He took out a small velvet pouch and rummaged for a moment until he fished out a golden chain which held a small golden dragon with emerald eyes. Harry smiled at the sight. He'd given it to Voldemort as a birthday present a few years ago, and it always warmed his insides when Voldemort wore it.
"A Confundus Charm specifically aimed at the magic of portraits should do the trick," Voldemort mused as he placed the necklace on the desk and took out his wand. He tapped the tip to his lips a few times and then swished it, muttering a few things. He paused for another few seconds, and then flicked his wand and murmured another spell. "There, that should do it." Voldemort looked extremely pleased with himself and offered the necklace to Harry. "If you'll do the honours, my little horcrux."
Harry stepped up behind Voldemort and wound the necklace around his neck, clasping it shut in the back. "There. Now you're ready for your new job. Professor." He quickly ducked into the bathroom to avoid Voldemort's smack to his arse. He ran a brush through his hair and put on some cologne, some expensive Muggle brand Snape had got him for Christmas last year. As he stepped back into the bedroom something occurred to him. "We've got this plan and all...but what if Croaker doesn't go along with it? What if he refuses you, Tom?"
Voldemort shrugged. "We'll use an Imperius, of course."
Harry gaped at him while Snape chuckled. Honestly. He should be used to such suggestions by now, he told himself as he followed his lovers out of the bedroom.
-----
The sight of Hogwarts castle looming in the distance did peculiar things to Harry. Simultaneously, his heart soared while his stomach sank.
They'd apparated to Hogsmeade, since they had plenty of time before their appointment with the new Headmaster, and now they strolled through the fields around Hogsmeade, up the winding path that led to the castle.
At one point, Harry stopped and stared at a hill in the distance. Voldemort joined him, and while neither spoke a word, Harry knew Voldemort was thinking of the same thing he was. That was the hill where Harry and Voldemort had met so many years ago, where Harry had cast the killing curse that split his soul and failed to kill Voldemort, who'd then taken up residence in Harry's mind.
Harry swallowed just as Snape said, "Let's not keep Croaker waiting." Snape's expression was blank, but his black eyes gleamed as he looked from Harry to Voldemort and back. Harry followed Snape down the path, Voldemort bringing up the rear.
As they neared the gates, and Harry spotted a cottage in the distance near the edge of the forest, he stopped dead in his tracks. "What about Hagrid?" He looked between Snape and Voldemort, panic burning in his chest. "He went to school with you, Tom. He'll recognize you."
Snape patted his shoulder. "Hagrid retired five years ago, right after McGonagall. He's taken that brother of his, the giant, and they're now living in Russia, I believe."
"Oh." Harry shook his head. He really hadn't been keeping up with all the news about his friends. It had been easier that way, to cut himself off almost completely when he'd made his new life abroad, but now he felt rather lost. A Hogwarts without Hagrid somehow didn't seem like Hogwarts at all.
"Harry?"
Shaking himself from his morose thoughts, Harry looked up and saw a man running their way. The man's steps faltered for a moment as he spotted Snape, but then the man seemed to square his shoulders and continued his approach with confident strides.
"Neville?" Harry said in astonishment as he recognized the man at last. The last ten years had been good to Neville. Gone was the slightly chubby teenager Harry remembered. Neville was tall and lean and slightly tanned, and he gave Harry a brilliant smile right before he wrapped his arms around Harry in a tight hug.
"It's been too long." Neville pulled back and slapped Harry on his arm in a friendly gesture.
"Yeah, good to see you," Harry managed to say as he looked Neville up and down. Yes, the years definitely had been very good to Neville, Harry thought much to his own embarrassment.
"Mr Longbottom," Snape drawled, and Neville swallowed visibly before he righted himself and stuck out his hand.
"Professor Snape," Neville said curtly, and for all of three seconds Snape stared at the outstretched hand as though Neville was offering him fresh hippogriff dung. Then he sighed, glanced at Harry, and shook Neville's hand with a rather pained expression on his face. Harry hid his grin by pretending to study his own shoes.
"So you're going to be my new colleague, Harry?" Neville asked, and he sounded slightly out of breath. "Casimir told me he'd offered you the Defence Against the Dark Arts position."
"Er..." Harry said, just as Voldemort cleared his throat beside Harry. "Oh, Neville, meet Joseph Taylor, a good friend of mine."
Voldemort shook Neville's hand, and while he looked perfectly polite doing it, Harry could tell by his tense shoulders Voldemort was anything but pleased by Neville's remarks.
"We should get going," Harry said in an attempt to defuse the situation.
"I'll walk you to the Headmaster's office," Neville said jovially, and thus for the next ten minutes Harry was treated to stories of Neville's career as the Herbology professor at Hogwarts. The good thing about this was that Harry had little time to think about anything else and before he knew it, they were standing in front of the gargoyle leading to the Headmaster's office.
"Howler," Neville told the gargoyle, which moved to the side at once. "See you later, Harry. Good to catch up with you."
"You, too." Harry raised his hand in farewell as Neville took off and disappeared down a corridor.
"After you, Mr Potter," Snape whispered in his ear, and Harry wanted to kick him and that bloody voice of his.
They rode the staircase in silence and just when they reached the door to the office, it swung open to reveal a middle-aged man with short hair that was neither blond nor grey. He was about Harry's height and built, though there was some roundness to his waist.
"Mr Potter!" Croaker, or so Harry assumed, grabbed Harry's hand with both of his own and shook it as if his life depended on it. Harry went rigid and only managed a tight smile in response.
"What a pleasure, what a pleasure indeed!" Croaker released Harry and waved him inside with a grand gesture. "Come in, please!"
Harry shuffled inside and only now did Croaker seem to realize Harry wasn't alone. Croaker gaped up at Snape and Voldemort, who entered the office behind Harry, in bewilderment.
"Headmaster, please meet my...er...partner, Severus Snape, and our good friend Joseph Taylor."
"A pleasure, I'm sure," Croaker said, but didn't offer to shake hands and hardly even acknowledged their presence. Snape arched an eyebrow and shared a rather amused look with Voldemort.
But Harry had no time for such a light-hearted exchange, because there, on the wall, hung Dumbledore's portrait. Dumbledore's eyes lit up in recognition as he spotted Harry and Snape, and then his eyes glazed over just a bit when he noticed Voldemort. There was no recognition, and Harry exhaled a deep breath, relaxing his shoulders just a bit. Most of the other Headmasters and Headmistresses on the wall seemed fast asleep, including McGonagall, but Harry did note one painting was empty, and it took him a moment to remember it was supposed to be Phineas Nigellus' portrait.
"Sit down, please." Croaker gestured at a few armchairs. He swished his wand and a tray appeared on the coffee table with tea and scones and little sandwiches. Harry sank down in the middle chair, while Snape and Voldemort seated themselves on either side of him. Croaker served the tea and sat down opposite them.
"Well, bless my stars," Croaker said as he leaned back in his chair. "Harry Potter, in my office." Croaker looked as though he'd won the lottery and even clapped his hands in obvious satisfaction. And Harry, for the first time, wished he'd just made a bloody horcrux and be done with it instead of going along with Snape's insane plan.
"The man who killed You Know Who!" Croaker beamed at Harry, and then glanced between Snape and Voldemort. "And haven't you ever wondered how he did it?"
"Repeatedly," Voldemort murmured and sipped his tea.
Croaker gave a snort of nervous laughter. "So have I. So, Harry, how did you do it?"
"Er..." Harry quickly stuffed one of the small sandwiches in his mouth so he didn't have to answer right away. Croaker looked at Harry expectantly, his pale eyes gleaming. But Harry had no desire to talk about horcruxes with him or with anyone. Very few people knew about them in the first place, and Harry liked it that way just fine. He swallowed his mouthful down and mumbled, "Killing Curse."
"Ah!" Croaker slapped his knee. "And that, Mr Potter, is why you are perfect for the job."
"About that..." Harry started, but Croaker gave him no time to object.
"I knew the moment I heard you were back, Mr Potter, that you and I were destined to work together. Who else is there to teach our students to defend themselves against the Dark Arts, but the man who defeated the Dark Lord himself."
"Well, actually -- "
"Hogwarts is proud to have you, Harry -- may I call you Harry? -- Hogwarts' own lost son finally returning home where he belongs."
"I don't want the job," Harry snapped, his patience gone at last. He gritted his teeth and then forcibly relaxed his rigid shoulders.
"No?" Croaker looked as though Harry had just killed his favourite pet. His mouth sank open and his eyes seemed unusually bright all of a sudden. "But -- "
"But my good friend, Joseph Taylor, is very interested in the position," Harry said quickly, gesturing at Voldemort. "And he's more than qualified for the job, believe me."
Croaker glanced from Harry to Voldemort and back. "Yes, I'm familiar with Mr Taylor's work. Most interesting, most interesting indeed. But I believe Mr Taylor never sat his NEWTs, or has received any formal training of any kind, and for this position I must insist -- "
"I never sat my NEWTs," Harry said and leaned back in his chair, a burst of satisfaction warming his insides. "I left Hogwarts before I finished my seventh year."
Swallowing, Croaker seemed to compose himself as he ran his hands down his black robes. "Yes, that may very well be the case, but Harry, you defeated -- "
"And now I'm a writer!" Harry leaned forward in his chair fixing Croaker with his sharpest glare. "I'm no more an expert on Defence Against the Dark Arts than Neville Longbottom is."
"Well..." Croaker shifted in his seat and suddenly diverted his attention to Snape, who had been observing the heated exchange with his usual stoic demeanour. "And Mr Snape. Our former Potions master." Croaker managed a wavering smile and leaned forward in his seat. "Or should I say, our current Potions master."
Snape blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
"You see, Mr Snape, when you left Hogwarts so unexpectedly a decade ago, our former Headmistress was forced to hire a rather urgent replacement. And while Davey Gudgeon has been a capable teacher, he pales in comparison to you, of course."
Snape sat his cup down on its saucer with a loud clatter. "Gudgeon? That bumbling buffoon of a Gryffindor is the Potions master?"
"Oi," Harry said, offended on behalf of his House.
"Oh, believe me, Harry, this man is a buffoon. During my days here as a student he tried to sneak past the Whomping Willow and almost lost an eye." Snape looked from Harry back to Croaker, his face a hard mask.
"Indeed," Croaker agreed happily. "Davey is a kind man, but not the best teacher we've ever had. I would gladly see him replaced if you find yourself agreeable to my offer, Mr Snape."
Harry was baffled and looked at Voldemort in bewilderment. But Voldemort seemed only mildly yet politely interested in the situation. Croaker wanted to sack his current Potions master so he could hire Snape? Because supposedly Snape of all people was a better teacher? Harry frowned. That didn't sit well with him at all. Croaker clearly was up to something, but Harry had idea what.
"I might be interested in the position if you consider hiring Mr Taylor as your new DADA teacher," Snape said, and Harry stared at him. That wasn't the bloody plan, now was it?
Croaker laughed amicably. "Spoken like a true Slytherin, right, Mr Snape?"
Snape inclined his head.
"I might be able to do that," Croaker continued, and then looked at Harry with a morose expression. "But what of your partner, Mr Snape? Perhaps we could find him another position at Hogwarts, as he seems so adamant to refuse the DADA position. How about assistant flying instructor? I have it on good authority you have excellent flying skills, Harry."
"Er..." Harry looked from Snape to Voldemort, while Croaker stared at him in obvious anticipation. And then Voldemort inclined his head just the tiniest amount, and Harry knew objection was futile. Once Voldemort made up his mind on matter such as this, there was nothing Harry could do about it. "I suppose that would be alright," Harry said and had to make an effort not to sulk. He wasn't a teenager anymore, but still, the current situation made him want to regress to his sixteen-year-old self.
"Excellent!" Croaker jumped up from his seat and shook their hands one after the other. "Three new staff members. And what staff members they are. This is going to be the best school year yet!"
-----
After they finalized their arrangements and signed their contracts, Croaker let them go so Harry and Snape could give Joseph Taylor a tour of the castle.
Why Harry had just signed up to become the new assistant flying instructor, he had idea. He looked from Snape to Voldemort and back, but their carefully constructed expressions gave nothing away, and the corridors of Hogwarts weren't secure, so any serious discussion would have to wait until later.
"This is the entrance hall, as you can see, Joseph," Snape said with a grand gesture.
"Marvellous," Voldemort said, turning on the spot to take in the entire hall. "Simply marvellous. Don't you agree, Harry?"
Scowling, Harry marched off in the opposite direction. He was in no mood for their fun and games. They had come up with a plan, and wouldn't he be damned if that plan hadn't already been turned upside down. The only good thing about Harry's dark mood was that it proved a great distraction, and it was several minutes before Harry even realized that yes, he was actually walking through Hogwarts.
Over the years Hogwarts had taken on the size and shape of an invincible mythological beast in Harry's mind, of something that had conquered him and dealt him a defeat of which he could never recover.
But as Harry looked around the corridors, it all seemed pretty much the same as he remembered. The chandeliers, the portraits, the suits of armour...it was all just as he had known it before.
Snape and Voldemort followed him some distance away, Snape playing the perfect tour guide and Voldemort ooh-ing and aah-ing as if he hadn't all seen it before.
Just before Harry reached the Great Hall, a blur of white and silver rushed towards him and before Harry knew what was happening there was a girl attached to him. Harry knew it was a girl right away, because there were breasts pressing against his chest. Also, she smelled like flowers.
"'Arry!" The girl said and pressed a kiss on both his cheeks. "Eet 'as been too long, no?"
Harry opened his mouth to say something, but instead of looking at the girl's face he became instantly distracted with the way her dress was rather low-cut and showed the tops of her plump breasts. Whoever she was, she had a nice pair.
Even though Harry had spent the last ten years getting in touch with his queer side (and he liked all that came with it plenty, thank you very much), he'd always known he wasn't entirely gay. He still liked girls, and he definitely appreciated certain assets that came with the opposite sex. Like a nice pair of boobs, just like this particular girl had on display.
"Aren't you going to introduce us to your...friend, Harry?" That was Snape, and he did not sound pleased. Not one bit.
Finally, Harry pulled his attention away from the girl's biggest assets and stared at her face. She looked a bit familiar. "Er..."
"Oh, you do not remember me, 'arry?" The girl released a string of laughter that made Harry's stomach flip, and not in a bad way, either. "You are my 'ero, no? You saved me from the lake."
At once Harry knew who she was. "Gabrielle," he said, and now noticed the similarities with Fleur; the same smile, the same blond hair, the same slim figure. The last time he'd seen her, she'd been a child. Now...she was definitely not a child.
"You do remember me!" And Gabrielle gave Harry two more kisses on his cheeks.
Snape cleared his throat in a rather obnoxious way.
"Sorry," Harry said, heat rising to his cheeks. "This is Gabrielle Delacour. Fleur's sister." He gestured at Snape and Voldemort. Snape seemed close to firing off some hexes, though whether he'd be aiming them at Harry or Gabrielle, Harry wasn't sure. Voldemort seemed only vaguely interested in the situation and gave Gabrielle a quick glance before he settled his attention on Harry.
"Gabrielle, this is Severus Snape, my...partner. And Joseph Taylor, a good friend of ours."
"Charmed," Gabrielle said, but as she looked at Snape she wrinkled her nose. Voldemort got a better response; Gabrielle looked him up and down and offered him a bright smile.
"So...er...what are you doing here?" Harry asked, taking a step back from Gabrielle, who seemed determined to hang onto his arm for some reason.
"I am the apprentice of Madam Pomfrey," Gabrielle said with a blinding smile. She had really nice teeth, Harry couldn't help notice. "And you, 'arry, are the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, yes?"
"No," Harry said, just as Voldemort loudly cleared his throat. "Joseph has accepted that position. I'm the new flying instructor. Or assistant instructor."
Gabrielle let out a little squeak. "So you will be 'ere. With me. I am so 'appy, 'arry!"
Harry gently tried to dislodge her from his arm, but she wouldn't budge. And then an arm slipped around his shoulders and Harry found himself pulled against Snape's hard body. And Snape did something he never did outside of their own home. He leaned over and kissed Harry. On the lips.
Gabrielle's face darkened at once, her lips turning down so she looked close to scowling.
"As delightful as this reunion has been, Miss Delacour, my life-partner and I must be off. I'm sure we'll see each other around sometime," Snape drawled in that voice, and Harry's prick, which had already shown a slight interest in the whole Gabrielle situation, now really sat up and took notice.
"Right," Harry said, his jeans becoming uncomfortably tight. "See you around, Gabrielle."
"Au revoir, 'arry," Gabrielle said, and sauntered off, her white dress fluttering daintily around her, and Harry couldn't help but notice that her backside was as nicely shaped as the rest of her.
The moment Gabrielle had rounded the corner, Snape released Harry with a small shove.
"Eh?" Harry looked at Snape with a frown. "What did I do?"
Snape's only response was a cold glare.
"She jumped me," Harry said defensively. "And she's part Veela. Jeez."
"Severus, you must excuse our Harry's rampaging hormones," Voldemort said. He seemed only amused with the situation, for which Harry was grateful. He didn't think he could handle both of them suddenly pissed off at him for no reason at all.
"I am well aware of Mr Potters many limitations," Snape said, and turned around with a snap of his robes and stalked off in the direction of the dungeons. At once he looked like the Potions master Harry had spent six years despising with a passion.
Harry sighed and pulled on the crotch of his jeans. Sometimes, he really hated that Snape had that kind of effect on him.
Voldemort placed his hand on Harry's shoulder and brushed his lips across Harry's ear. "I do believe Croaker was right. This is going to be a most entertaining school year."
----
Harry experienced a strange sense of déjà vu. Here he was, strolling through Hogwarts' corridors, discussing his private life with Voldemort.
"But I don't get why he's blaming me," Harry ranted. "She kissed me, not the other way around."
"Ah, but you did seem quite pleased with her attentions," Voldemort replied with a smile.
"Well..."
"It was rather obvious, Harry." Voldemort gave Harry a pointed look.
"Come on, I know neither one of you likes women, but you can't blame me for enjoying the view."
Voldemort chuckled. "I won't blame you for that, but Severus is not like me." Voldemort stopped in front of one of the windows, and Harry stood beside him, gazing out over the green lawns. "Severus, after all, does not have the same agreement with you as I have, Harry."
Frowning, Harry looked up at Voldemort. "He's been with us for ten years. Does he really think I'd dump him because a pretty girl smiled at me? Seriously?"
Voldemort shrugged. "Severus knows there is nothing he could do to stop you if that is what you desired."
"But I don't desire -- " Harry released a strangled breath. "So that's what this is all about? He's just jealous and he's taking it out on me?"
"I should think so, yes."
"That's insane."
"Really?" Voldemort turned to look at Harry. "You wouldn't feel the exact same way if the roles were reversed? If a handsome young man threw himself at Severus and kissed him repeatedly?"
"Maybe," Harry grumbled, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. At least his dick no longer had an active interest in the situation.
"I know you, Harry. You would be most upset if that happened."
Harry sighed. "Yeah, probably. So what do I do now?"
Voldemort smirked and ran his hand down Harry's back. "Now you go kiss and make up, I believe it is called."
Harry considered that for a few moments. A part of him still thought that Snape was being unreasonable, but if there was one thing Harry had learned from his ten year relationship with two men, it was that sometimes, even though you might be right, you still had to give a little to keep the peace. And after their recent fight, Harry desperately wanted to keep the peace.
"All right. I have a plan. But I need your help."
Voldemort's eyes gleamed. "Do tell."
by Maeglin Yedi
Pairing: Harry/Voldemort/Snape, other minor pairings (both het and slash)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They all belong to J.K. Rowling. I just make them shag.
Warnings: AU from HBP onwards
Summary: After ten years of peace, there is now a price to pay, as Harry discovers.
A/N: Sequel to The Semblance of Peace. You should definitely read that story first, otherwise this one won't make much sense.
Big thanks to fluffyllama for the beta!
The next morning Harry woke up first, and even though his dreams had been fitful his mood was improved. He crawled out of bed, careful not to wake his lovers, went in search for his pyjama bottoms and his dressing gown since they always slept in the nude, and then made his way down to the kitchen.
He got the dishes from the previous night going with a spell, put the kettle on, and got the table ready for breakfast. He made toast, got some bacon frying and when he was ready to scramble some eggs, Voldemort and Snape walked into the kitchen.
Voldemort poured them all a cup of tea while Snape divided the toast and bacon between their plates.
"Who's the owl for?" Voldemort asked as he sat down at the table.
Harry looked up from the stove. "What owl?"
Rolling his eyes, Snape pointed his finger at the window, where an eagle owl sat waiting patiently, a scroll tied to its leg.
"Ah." Harry opened the window and let the owl inside. He hadn't noticed it before and ignored Voldemort's amused snort. The owl hopped up on the back of a chair and held its leg out to Harry, who looked at the scroll in puzzlement as he untied it.
"It's from Hogwarts," he mumbled, offering the owl half a strip of bacon. The owl accepted and flew out the window. Harry unrolled the scroll and read out loud.
Dear Mr Potter,
It has come to our attention that you have returned to Britain after your many years of travelling abroad. It is therefore my pleasure to offer you the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor for the upcoming school year, starting September 1st.
With your skills and experience it is our belief you will be perfect for the job. Please come to Hogwarts today at noon so we may discuss your employment in further detail.
Most sincerely,
Casimir Croaker
Headmaster of Hogwarts
Harry lowered the letter, and stared at Voldemort and Snape in bewilderment. Snape threw his head back and laughed, but Voldemort's expression was rather pinched.
"You're not going to accept that," Voldemort said, and it sounded more like an order than a request.
"Of course not," Harry mumbled. He had no desire to teach, especially not at Hogwarts.
Snape, who'd taken over scrambling the eggs from Harry, carried the skillet to the table. "Well, now at least we have an official appointment with Croaker."
"You will decline his offer, and I will offer my services instead." Voldemort glared at Harry, and Harry rolled his eyes and then nodded.
Crumbling the letter up into a ball, Harry sat down at the table. "We'll stick to the plan."
"See that you do." Voldemort gave Harry one last glare and started on his breakfast. Harry exchanged an amused glance with Snape and then quickly hid his smile with a bite of bacon.
After breakfast they made their way upstairs to get dressed.
"Now that we'll be meeting the new Headmaster in his office, there is still the matter of the portraits," Snape said as he sat on the edge of the bed and tied his shoes.
"Hmm." Voldemort turned towards his trunk and opened it. He took out a small velvet pouch and rummaged for a moment until he fished out a golden chain which held a small golden dragon with emerald eyes. Harry smiled at the sight. He'd given it to Voldemort as a birthday present a few years ago, and it always warmed his insides when Voldemort wore it.
"A Confundus Charm specifically aimed at the magic of portraits should do the trick," Voldemort mused as he placed the necklace on the desk and took out his wand. He tapped the tip to his lips a few times and then swished it, muttering a few things. He paused for another few seconds, and then flicked his wand and murmured another spell. "There, that should do it." Voldemort looked extremely pleased with himself and offered the necklace to Harry. "If you'll do the honours, my little horcrux."
Harry stepped up behind Voldemort and wound the necklace around his neck, clasping it shut in the back. "There. Now you're ready for your new job. Professor." He quickly ducked into the bathroom to avoid Voldemort's smack to his arse. He ran a brush through his hair and put on some cologne, some expensive Muggle brand Snape had got him for Christmas last year. As he stepped back into the bedroom something occurred to him. "We've got this plan and all...but what if Croaker doesn't go along with it? What if he refuses you, Tom?"
Voldemort shrugged. "We'll use an Imperius, of course."
Harry gaped at him while Snape chuckled. Honestly. He should be used to such suggestions by now, he told himself as he followed his lovers out of the bedroom.
-----
The sight of Hogwarts castle looming in the distance did peculiar things to Harry. Simultaneously, his heart soared while his stomach sank.
They'd apparated to Hogsmeade, since they had plenty of time before their appointment with the new Headmaster, and now they strolled through the fields around Hogsmeade, up the winding path that led to the castle.
At one point, Harry stopped and stared at a hill in the distance. Voldemort joined him, and while neither spoke a word, Harry knew Voldemort was thinking of the same thing he was. That was the hill where Harry and Voldemort had met so many years ago, where Harry had cast the killing curse that split his soul and failed to kill Voldemort, who'd then taken up residence in Harry's mind.
Harry swallowed just as Snape said, "Let's not keep Croaker waiting." Snape's expression was blank, but his black eyes gleamed as he looked from Harry to Voldemort and back. Harry followed Snape down the path, Voldemort bringing up the rear.
As they neared the gates, and Harry spotted a cottage in the distance near the edge of the forest, he stopped dead in his tracks. "What about Hagrid?" He looked between Snape and Voldemort, panic burning in his chest. "He went to school with you, Tom. He'll recognize you."
Snape patted his shoulder. "Hagrid retired five years ago, right after McGonagall. He's taken that brother of his, the giant, and they're now living in Russia, I believe."
"Oh." Harry shook his head. He really hadn't been keeping up with all the news about his friends. It had been easier that way, to cut himself off almost completely when he'd made his new life abroad, but now he felt rather lost. A Hogwarts without Hagrid somehow didn't seem like Hogwarts at all.
"Harry?"
Shaking himself from his morose thoughts, Harry looked up and saw a man running their way. The man's steps faltered for a moment as he spotted Snape, but then the man seemed to square his shoulders and continued his approach with confident strides.
"Neville?" Harry said in astonishment as he recognized the man at last. The last ten years had been good to Neville. Gone was the slightly chubby teenager Harry remembered. Neville was tall and lean and slightly tanned, and he gave Harry a brilliant smile right before he wrapped his arms around Harry in a tight hug.
"It's been too long." Neville pulled back and slapped Harry on his arm in a friendly gesture.
"Yeah, good to see you," Harry managed to say as he looked Neville up and down. Yes, the years definitely had been very good to Neville, Harry thought much to his own embarrassment.
"Mr Longbottom," Snape drawled, and Neville swallowed visibly before he righted himself and stuck out his hand.
"Professor Snape," Neville said curtly, and for all of three seconds Snape stared at the outstretched hand as though Neville was offering him fresh hippogriff dung. Then he sighed, glanced at Harry, and shook Neville's hand with a rather pained expression on his face. Harry hid his grin by pretending to study his own shoes.
"So you're going to be my new colleague, Harry?" Neville asked, and he sounded slightly out of breath. "Casimir told me he'd offered you the Defence Against the Dark Arts position."
"Er..." Harry said, just as Voldemort cleared his throat beside Harry. "Oh, Neville, meet Joseph Taylor, a good friend of mine."
Voldemort shook Neville's hand, and while he looked perfectly polite doing it, Harry could tell by his tense shoulders Voldemort was anything but pleased by Neville's remarks.
"We should get going," Harry said in an attempt to defuse the situation.
"I'll walk you to the Headmaster's office," Neville said jovially, and thus for the next ten minutes Harry was treated to stories of Neville's career as the Herbology professor at Hogwarts. The good thing about this was that Harry had little time to think about anything else and before he knew it, they were standing in front of the gargoyle leading to the Headmaster's office.
"Howler," Neville told the gargoyle, which moved to the side at once. "See you later, Harry. Good to catch up with you."
"You, too." Harry raised his hand in farewell as Neville took off and disappeared down a corridor.
"After you, Mr Potter," Snape whispered in his ear, and Harry wanted to kick him and that bloody voice of his.
They rode the staircase in silence and just when they reached the door to the office, it swung open to reveal a middle-aged man with short hair that was neither blond nor grey. He was about Harry's height and built, though there was some roundness to his waist.
"Mr Potter!" Croaker, or so Harry assumed, grabbed Harry's hand with both of his own and shook it as if his life depended on it. Harry went rigid and only managed a tight smile in response.
"What a pleasure, what a pleasure indeed!" Croaker released Harry and waved him inside with a grand gesture. "Come in, please!"
Harry shuffled inside and only now did Croaker seem to realize Harry wasn't alone. Croaker gaped up at Snape and Voldemort, who entered the office behind Harry, in bewilderment.
"Headmaster, please meet my...er...partner, Severus Snape, and our good friend Joseph Taylor."
"A pleasure, I'm sure," Croaker said, but didn't offer to shake hands and hardly even acknowledged their presence. Snape arched an eyebrow and shared a rather amused look with Voldemort.
But Harry had no time for such a light-hearted exchange, because there, on the wall, hung Dumbledore's portrait. Dumbledore's eyes lit up in recognition as he spotted Harry and Snape, and then his eyes glazed over just a bit when he noticed Voldemort. There was no recognition, and Harry exhaled a deep breath, relaxing his shoulders just a bit. Most of the other Headmasters and Headmistresses on the wall seemed fast asleep, including McGonagall, but Harry did note one painting was empty, and it took him a moment to remember it was supposed to be Phineas Nigellus' portrait.
"Sit down, please." Croaker gestured at a few armchairs. He swished his wand and a tray appeared on the coffee table with tea and scones and little sandwiches. Harry sank down in the middle chair, while Snape and Voldemort seated themselves on either side of him. Croaker served the tea and sat down opposite them.
"Well, bless my stars," Croaker said as he leaned back in his chair. "Harry Potter, in my office." Croaker looked as though he'd won the lottery and even clapped his hands in obvious satisfaction. And Harry, for the first time, wished he'd just made a bloody horcrux and be done with it instead of going along with Snape's insane plan.
"The man who killed You Know Who!" Croaker beamed at Harry, and then glanced between Snape and Voldemort. "And haven't you ever wondered how he did it?"
"Repeatedly," Voldemort murmured and sipped his tea.
Croaker gave a snort of nervous laughter. "So have I. So, Harry, how did you do it?"
"Er..." Harry quickly stuffed one of the small sandwiches in his mouth so he didn't have to answer right away. Croaker looked at Harry expectantly, his pale eyes gleaming. But Harry had no desire to talk about horcruxes with him or with anyone. Very few people knew about them in the first place, and Harry liked it that way just fine. He swallowed his mouthful down and mumbled, "Killing Curse."
"Ah!" Croaker slapped his knee. "And that, Mr Potter, is why you are perfect for the job."
"About that..." Harry started, but Croaker gave him no time to object.
"I knew the moment I heard you were back, Mr Potter, that you and I were destined to work together. Who else is there to teach our students to defend themselves against the Dark Arts, but the man who defeated the Dark Lord himself."
"Well, actually -- "
"Hogwarts is proud to have you, Harry -- may I call you Harry? -- Hogwarts' own lost son finally returning home where he belongs."
"I don't want the job," Harry snapped, his patience gone at last. He gritted his teeth and then forcibly relaxed his rigid shoulders.
"No?" Croaker looked as though Harry had just killed his favourite pet. His mouth sank open and his eyes seemed unusually bright all of a sudden. "But -- "
"But my good friend, Joseph Taylor, is very interested in the position," Harry said quickly, gesturing at Voldemort. "And he's more than qualified for the job, believe me."
Croaker glanced from Harry to Voldemort and back. "Yes, I'm familiar with Mr Taylor's work. Most interesting, most interesting indeed. But I believe Mr Taylor never sat his NEWTs, or has received any formal training of any kind, and for this position I must insist -- "
"I never sat my NEWTs," Harry said and leaned back in his chair, a burst of satisfaction warming his insides. "I left Hogwarts before I finished my seventh year."
Swallowing, Croaker seemed to compose himself as he ran his hands down his black robes. "Yes, that may very well be the case, but Harry, you defeated -- "
"And now I'm a writer!" Harry leaned forward in his chair fixing Croaker with his sharpest glare. "I'm no more an expert on Defence Against the Dark Arts than Neville Longbottom is."
"Well..." Croaker shifted in his seat and suddenly diverted his attention to Snape, who had been observing the heated exchange with his usual stoic demeanour. "And Mr Snape. Our former Potions master." Croaker managed a wavering smile and leaned forward in his seat. "Or should I say, our current Potions master."
Snape blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
"You see, Mr Snape, when you left Hogwarts so unexpectedly a decade ago, our former Headmistress was forced to hire a rather urgent replacement. And while Davey Gudgeon has been a capable teacher, he pales in comparison to you, of course."
Snape sat his cup down on its saucer with a loud clatter. "Gudgeon? That bumbling buffoon of a Gryffindor is the Potions master?"
"Oi," Harry said, offended on behalf of his House.
"Oh, believe me, Harry, this man is a buffoon. During my days here as a student he tried to sneak past the Whomping Willow and almost lost an eye." Snape looked from Harry back to Croaker, his face a hard mask.
"Indeed," Croaker agreed happily. "Davey is a kind man, but not the best teacher we've ever had. I would gladly see him replaced if you find yourself agreeable to my offer, Mr Snape."
Harry was baffled and looked at Voldemort in bewilderment. But Voldemort seemed only mildly yet politely interested in the situation. Croaker wanted to sack his current Potions master so he could hire Snape? Because supposedly Snape of all people was a better teacher? Harry frowned. That didn't sit well with him at all. Croaker clearly was up to something, but Harry had idea what.
"I might be interested in the position if you consider hiring Mr Taylor as your new DADA teacher," Snape said, and Harry stared at him. That wasn't the bloody plan, now was it?
Croaker laughed amicably. "Spoken like a true Slytherin, right, Mr Snape?"
Snape inclined his head.
"I might be able to do that," Croaker continued, and then looked at Harry with a morose expression. "But what of your partner, Mr Snape? Perhaps we could find him another position at Hogwarts, as he seems so adamant to refuse the DADA position. How about assistant flying instructor? I have it on good authority you have excellent flying skills, Harry."
"Er..." Harry looked from Snape to Voldemort, while Croaker stared at him in obvious anticipation. And then Voldemort inclined his head just the tiniest amount, and Harry knew objection was futile. Once Voldemort made up his mind on matter such as this, there was nothing Harry could do about it. "I suppose that would be alright," Harry said and had to make an effort not to sulk. He wasn't a teenager anymore, but still, the current situation made him want to regress to his sixteen-year-old self.
"Excellent!" Croaker jumped up from his seat and shook their hands one after the other. "Three new staff members. And what staff members they are. This is going to be the best school year yet!"
-----
After they finalized their arrangements and signed their contracts, Croaker let them go so Harry and Snape could give Joseph Taylor a tour of the castle.
Why Harry had just signed up to become the new assistant flying instructor, he had idea. He looked from Snape to Voldemort and back, but their carefully constructed expressions gave nothing away, and the corridors of Hogwarts weren't secure, so any serious discussion would have to wait until later.
"This is the entrance hall, as you can see, Joseph," Snape said with a grand gesture.
"Marvellous," Voldemort said, turning on the spot to take in the entire hall. "Simply marvellous. Don't you agree, Harry?"
Scowling, Harry marched off in the opposite direction. He was in no mood for their fun and games. They had come up with a plan, and wouldn't he be damned if that plan hadn't already been turned upside down. The only good thing about Harry's dark mood was that it proved a great distraction, and it was several minutes before Harry even realized that yes, he was actually walking through Hogwarts.
Over the years Hogwarts had taken on the size and shape of an invincible mythological beast in Harry's mind, of something that had conquered him and dealt him a defeat of which he could never recover.
But as Harry looked around the corridors, it all seemed pretty much the same as he remembered. The chandeliers, the portraits, the suits of armour...it was all just as he had known it before.
Snape and Voldemort followed him some distance away, Snape playing the perfect tour guide and Voldemort ooh-ing and aah-ing as if he hadn't all seen it before.
Just before Harry reached the Great Hall, a blur of white and silver rushed towards him and before Harry knew what was happening there was a girl attached to him. Harry knew it was a girl right away, because there were breasts pressing against his chest. Also, she smelled like flowers.
"'Arry!" The girl said and pressed a kiss on both his cheeks. "Eet 'as been too long, no?"
Harry opened his mouth to say something, but instead of looking at the girl's face he became instantly distracted with the way her dress was rather low-cut and showed the tops of her plump breasts. Whoever she was, she had a nice pair.
Even though Harry had spent the last ten years getting in touch with his queer side (and he liked all that came with it plenty, thank you very much), he'd always known he wasn't entirely gay. He still liked girls, and he definitely appreciated certain assets that came with the opposite sex. Like a nice pair of boobs, just like this particular girl had on display.
"Aren't you going to introduce us to your...friend, Harry?" That was Snape, and he did not sound pleased. Not one bit.
Finally, Harry pulled his attention away from the girl's biggest assets and stared at her face. She looked a bit familiar. "Er..."
"Oh, you do not remember me, 'arry?" The girl released a string of laughter that made Harry's stomach flip, and not in a bad way, either. "You are my 'ero, no? You saved me from the lake."
At once Harry knew who she was. "Gabrielle," he said, and now noticed the similarities with Fleur; the same smile, the same blond hair, the same slim figure. The last time he'd seen her, she'd been a child. Now...she was definitely not a child.
"You do remember me!" And Gabrielle gave Harry two more kisses on his cheeks.
Snape cleared his throat in a rather obnoxious way.
"Sorry," Harry said, heat rising to his cheeks. "This is Gabrielle Delacour. Fleur's sister." He gestured at Snape and Voldemort. Snape seemed close to firing off some hexes, though whether he'd be aiming them at Harry or Gabrielle, Harry wasn't sure. Voldemort seemed only vaguely interested in the situation and gave Gabrielle a quick glance before he settled his attention on Harry.
"Gabrielle, this is Severus Snape, my...partner. And Joseph Taylor, a good friend of ours."
"Charmed," Gabrielle said, but as she looked at Snape she wrinkled her nose. Voldemort got a better response; Gabrielle looked him up and down and offered him a bright smile.
"So...er...what are you doing here?" Harry asked, taking a step back from Gabrielle, who seemed determined to hang onto his arm for some reason.
"I am the apprentice of Madam Pomfrey," Gabrielle said with a blinding smile. She had really nice teeth, Harry couldn't help notice. "And you, 'arry, are the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, yes?"
"No," Harry said, just as Voldemort loudly cleared his throat. "Joseph has accepted that position. I'm the new flying instructor. Or assistant instructor."
Gabrielle let out a little squeak. "So you will be 'ere. With me. I am so 'appy, 'arry!"
Harry gently tried to dislodge her from his arm, but she wouldn't budge. And then an arm slipped around his shoulders and Harry found himself pulled against Snape's hard body. And Snape did something he never did outside of their own home. He leaned over and kissed Harry. On the lips.
Gabrielle's face darkened at once, her lips turning down so she looked close to scowling.
"As delightful as this reunion has been, Miss Delacour, my life-partner and I must be off. I'm sure we'll see each other around sometime," Snape drawled in that voice, and Harry's prick, which had already shown a slight interest in the whole Gabrielle situation, now really sat up and took notice.
"Right," Harry said, his jeans becoming uncomfortably tight. "See you around, Gabrielle."
"Au revoir, 'arry," Gabrielle said, and sauntered off, her white dress fluttering daintily around her, and Harry couldn't help but notice that her backside was as nicely shaped as the rest of her.
The moment Gabrielle had rounded the corner, Snape released Harry with a small shove.
"Eh?" Harry looked at Snape with a frown. "What did I do?"
Snape's only response was a cold glare.
"She jumped me," Harry said defensively. "And she's part Veela. Jeez."
"Severus, you must excuse our Harry's rampaging hormones," Voldemort said. He seemed only amused with the situation, for which Harry was grateful. He didn't think he could handle both of them suddenly pissed off at him for no reason at all.
"I am well aware of Mr Potters many limitations," Snape said, and turned around with a snap of his robes and stalked off in the direction of the dungeons. At once he looked like the Potions master Harry had spent six years despising with a passion.
Harry sighed and pulled on the crotch of his jeans. Sometimes, he really hated that Snape had that kind of effect on him.
Voldemort placed his hand on Harry's shoulder and brushed his lips across Harry's ear. "I do believe Croaker was right. This is going to be a most entertaining school year."
----
Harry experienced a strange sense of déjà vu. Here he was, strolling through Hogwarts' corridors, discussing his private life with Voldemort.
"But I don't get why he's blaming me," Harry ranted. "She kissed me, not the other way around."
"Ah, but you did seem quite pleased with her attentions," Voldemort replied with a smile.
"Well..."
"It was rather obvious, Harry." Voldemort gave Harry a pointed look.
"Come on, I know neither one of you likes women, but you can't blame me for enjoying the view."
Voldemort chuckled. "I won't blame you for that, but Severus is not like me." Voldemort stopped in front of one of the windows, and Harry stood beside him, gazing out over the green lawns. "Severus, after all, does not have the same agreement with you as I have, Harry."
Frowning, Harry looked up at Voldemort. "He's been with us for ten years. Does he really think I'd dump him because a pretty girl smiled at me? Seriously?"
Voldemort shrugged. "Severus knows there is nothing he could do to stop you if that is what you desired."
"But I don't desire -- " Harry released a strangled breath. "So that's what this is all about? He's just jealous and he's taking it out on me?"
"I should think so, yes."
"That's insane."
"Really?" Voldemort turned to look at Harry. "You wouldn't feel the exact same way if the roles were reversed? If a handsome young man threw himself at Severus and kissed him repeatedly?"
"Maybe," Harry grumbled, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. At least his dick no longer had an active interest in the situation.
"I know you, Harry. You would be most upset if that happened."
Harry sighed. "Yeah, probably. So what do I do now?"
Voldemort smirked and ran his hand down Harry's back. "Now you go kiss and make up, I believe it is called."
Harry considered that for a few moments. A part of him still thought that Snape was being unreasonable, but if there was one thing Harry had learned from his ten year relationship with two men, it was that sometimes, even though you might be right, you still had to give a little to keep the peace. And after their recent fight, Harry desperately wanted to keep the peace.
"All right. I have a plan. But I need your help."
Voldemort's eyes gleamed. "Do tell."