Dedicated to all a'you
My life is turning more and more into poetry. I wish that meant romance, or archaic language expressing beauty, but it's more contemporary than that. Poetry, my life, meaning I can't see out of eyes that only see, instead, thoughts become lines, nature becomes ideas, trivial every day visions; omens.
I welcome this, but fear it, as I fear any overloaded mindfulness. Trying to understand my timid gestures toward a life of sole creativity; I admit I enjoy the seldom exhausted crash mentality, comprised of 'fuck it's and 'whatever's.
Listening to Radiohead on a long drive today, I realized there comes a point in the trip, I think it's at Gardner and Rt.2 East, where there's no turning back, and what's behind you, your original destination, now becomes a dissolving point, a middle mark that really becomes so much more, so much. More.
And I've realized that I enjoy the ride so much more than the destination. Whatever fucking destination it is, I always enjoy the ride so much. More.
Labor Day. A day like today, when it really is the end, can really give you sullen vibes. My sister was openly sad today, even during nice dinners and relaxing sunsets, she reminds me, she's sad. But she has a wonderful man to ride home with, to sulk onto, and that makes me hopeful.
Trying to understand (another portion) of my current relationships, especially with friends of the male gender. Mostly trying to understand, to better understand myself, and what I really want, what I should really be giving, the people I am hurting to make them feel less hurt. I want to feel an ease.
Senior year of college begins Wednesday. Let us reflect.
I welcome this, but fear it, as I fear any overloaded mindfulness. Trying to understand my timid gestures toward a life of sole creativity; I admit I enjoy the seldom exhausted crash mentality, comprised of 'fuck it's and 'whatever's.
Listening to Radiohead on a long drive today, I realized there comes a point in the trip, I think it's at Gardner and Rt.2 East, where there's no turning back, and what's behind you, your original destination, now becomes a dissolving point, a middle mark that really becomes so much more, so much. More.
And I've realized that I enjoy the ride so much more than the destination. Whatever fucking destination it is, I always enjoy the ride so much. More.
Labor Day. A day like today, when it really is the end, can really give you sullen vibes. My sister was openly sad today, even during nice dinners and relaxing sunsets, she reminds me, she's sad. But she has a wonderful man to ride home with, to sulk onto, and that makes me hopeful.
Trying to understand (another portion) of my current relationships, especially with friends of the male gender. Mostly trying to understand, to better understand myself, and what I really want, what I should really be giving, the people I am hurting to make them feel less hurt. I want to feel an ease.
Senior year of college begins Wednesday. Let us reflect.