The sun won't melt our wings tonight
I've said before: I'm not watching the Emmys this year. Unfortunately, it's not just because Ryan Seacrest is hosting (although that's enough for me) - it's also because we don't have cable in our place yet. Not even rabbit ears. But I can still make my predictions!
The usual disclaimer applies: don't use my predictions in your office pools, because I am NEVER RIGHT.
Best Supporting Actor, Comedy
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Rainn Wilson, The Office
Jeremy Piven won last year, so he could definitely win again. This category LOVES rewarding the same actor multiple times (see David Hyde Pierce, Brad Garrett), so it's not wrong to say he has a definite advantage. More viewers watch Two and a Half Men than any of the other shows represented, so on ratings alone, Jon Cryer's got an in. The academy would reward Piven over Dillon, so Dillon's out.
That leaves my two favorite boys in this category, Neil and Rainn. I'd have to give the edge to Rainn, only because the episode he subitted ("The Coup") had him running the gamut of being willing to go over Michael to Jan and ask for his job. Knowing how much he loves Michael made this a terrible decision for the character, and Rainn acted the hell out of it.
But knowing the Emmys like I think I know the Emmys, I'd give a slight edge to Jeremy Piven, because they're fucktards like that.
Best Supporting Actress, Comedy
Conchata Ferrell, Two and a Half Men
Jenna Fischer, The Office
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds
Jaime Pressley, My Name is Earl
Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty
I'm only going to say this: If Jenna Fischer does not win for this category, then there is no God. I talked about this in the post I made when the nominations first came out: Pam's character arc this season was the most interesting, most heartfelt, and overall, the best on this show or any other. She has come out of Roy's shadow, and most importantly, she has learned how to have fun without relying on Jim. She accepts that Jim has moved on after her rejection, and even though it kills her, she wants him to be happy (see the brilliant scene from "Back From Vacation," where after she gives Karen advice, she is seen sobbing her eyes out over it. And then the even-more-brilliant moment where Dwight tries to comfort her and fails miserably and yet remains sweet about it). And her progression continued in "Beach Games," where she found the courage to actually tell Jim off for being a douche, and if you can watch the last talking head in "The Job" and not cry, you have no heart my friend. No heart.
And yeah, Vanessa Williams could totally sweep in and steal the Emmy out from under her (damn ratings and celebrity), but Jenna is the best ACTRESS of this group, and therefore, should win.
My pick: Jenna Fischer
Best Supporting Actor, Drama
Michael Emerson, Lost
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos
T.R. Knight, Grey's Anatomy
Terry O'Quinn, Lost
Masi Oka, Heroes
William Shatner, Boston Legal
T.R. won't win outright; if he should win, it will be henceforth known as the "Congratulations on Being the Better Man" award. Masi Oka is cute - damn cute! -, but best actor in this category? Only if they want to reward him for learning to speak Japanese. And since when is Boston Legal a drama, and when has Shatner played anything dramatically? Even Star Trek was hilarious.
So it's between the two Michaels and Terry O'Quinn. Emmy would probably give it to Imperioli because he got whacked and the show is done. But I'd hope that they'd reward Terry O'Quinn, who had the most solid work in Lost to date. Between losing his faith and having the truth about his paralysis finally revealed, Locke had an amazing character arc this season, and not even "Through the Looking Glass" can overshadow that. I am sad that Dom Monaghan isn't in this category, but give it to Locke instead.
Best Supporting Actress, Drama
Lorrainne Bracco, The Sopranos
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers and Sisters
Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy
Aida Tuturro, The Sopranos
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy
Rachel's a nonentity. If she wins, it'll be because she was on Six Feet Under. If Katherine Heigl wins for her atrocious storyline (Really? Izzie and George are soulmates? Give me a freakin' break), heads will roll. And between Tuturro and Bracco, Bracco gets the edge. And while I absolutely adore Chandra Wilson, between her and Sandra Oh, Oh will get the award. *Sniff* Next year, Dr. Bailey; next year.
Between Bracco and Oh... ? I'd say a toss-up. Probably Lorrainne Bracco, though, because her show has ended and she's finally submitted herself in the correct category. Although Sandra Oh should win by being able to act as if she was in love with Isaiah Washington after he choked her costar.
Best Actor, Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carrell, The Office
Ricky Gervais, Extras
Tony Shaloub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men
Shut up Tony Shaloub; it should go to Steve Carrell. I don't know what episode he submitted for himself, but I hope it was either "The Job" or "Traveling Salesmen/The Return". Both episodes show the very disparate sides of Michael Scott. In "TS/TR", he shows off his crassness and ineptitude when he tosses Phyllis's keys under her car so he could get a head start on his fake Amazing Race sales call non-contest. And then he is an absolutely fantastic salesman, and again, it's not hard to see how he managed to get noticed at Dunder-Mifflin. And he has to sit there while Andy totally fucks the sale up. His utter feeling of disappointment when he is tricked into believing that Dwight has betrayed him again, and his sadness when Dwight resigns. And finally, Andy Bernard becomes the first person since Toby that Michael just absolutely gives up trying to like. And in "The Job," when he realizes midway through his monologue that he can't get promoted in the job that he loves. Ricky Gervais, God bless him, wouldn't have been able to pull that type of acting off, I don't think. And Charlie Sheen only plays himself. And I love Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock, which is odd, because I hate him normally, but give it to Steve Carrell this year, if only for his Emmy speech.
Best Actress, Comedy
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
America Ferrarra, Ugly Betty
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Tina Fey is a writer, not an actor. Felicity Huffman had a stupid show this year. Julia has broken the Seinfeld curse and doesn't need to do it again. And Mary-Louise Parker is playing a drug dealer. And let's not forget the amazing buzz around America Ferrarra and Ugly Betty, and that's who should win.
Best Actor, Drama
James Gandolfini, The Sopranos
Hugh Laurie, House
Denis Leary, Rescue Me
James Spader, Boston Legal
Kiefer Sutherland, 24
24 was stupid this year. No one watches Rescue Me. And, again, since when is Boston Legal a drama? They'll either reward Gandolfini for getting whacked and having one of the most talked-about series finales ever, or they'll give it to Hugh Laurie, who has completely mastered an American accent and who SHOULD HAVE HOSTED THE EMMYS.
Best Actress, Drama
Patricia Arquette, Medium
Minnie Driver, The Riches
Edie Falco, The Sopranos
Sally Field, Brothers and Sisters
Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order: SVU
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
I'm gonna give this one to Kyra Sedgwick, just because.
Best Writing, Drama
Battlestar Galactica, "Occupation/Precipice"
Lost, "Through the Looking Glass"
The Sopranos, "Kennedy and Heidi"
The Sopranos, "The Second Coming"
The Sopranos, "Made in America"
As much as I'd love to see "Through the Looking Glass" make it, if only because it made me love Lost again, I'm gonna be the schmuck and give it to "Made in America", for being the finale to end all finales.
Best Writing, Comedy
30 Rock, "Tracy Does Conan"
30 Rock, "Jack-tor"
Extras, "Daniel Radcliffe"
The Office, "Gay Witch Hunt"
The Office, "The Negotiation"
Okay, I haven't yet rewatched "GWH," but it'll probably win because it's shorter than "The Negotiation" (which I still think was funny). But if there is a God, he'll give the Emmy to "Tracy Does Conan", if only for the five little words that were the hottest ever uttered on that damn show: "Let's not do this, Elizabeth." Oh, Conan.
My Pick: Gay Witch Hunt (And then listen to Emily in San Francisco as she screams WHAT THE FUCK?!)
Best Drama
Boston Legal
Grey's Anatomy
Heroes
House
The Sopranos
Is there anyone still out there who doesn't think The Sopranos is going to win this one?
Best Comedy
30 Rock
Entourage
The Office
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Is there anyone still out there who doesn't think The Office is going to win this one?
Stephen Colbert's Chances of Winning An Award
All I'm going to say: if he loses to Tony Bennett this year, elevator music will never be the same again. Because Stephen will decide that the only way to win an Emmy is to go on HBO and have a concert special where he sings standards. And he could do it, and he would do it, and he would win the Emmy then.
The usual disclaimer applies: don't use my predictions in your office pools, because I am NEVER RIGHT.
Best Supporting Actor, Comedy
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Rainn Wilson, The Office
Jeremy Piven won last year, so he could definitely win again. This category LOVES rewarding the same actor multiple times (see David Hyde Pierce, Brad Garrett), so it's not wrong to say he has a definite advantage. More viewers watch Two and a Half Men than any of the other shows represented, so on ratings alone, Jon Cryer's got an in. The academy would reward Piven over Dillon, so Dillon's out.
That leaves my two favorite boys in this category, Neil and Rainn. I'd have to give the edge to Rainn, only because the episode he subitted ("The Coup") had him running the gamut of being willing to go over Michael to Jan and ask for his job. Knowing how much he loves Michael made this a terrible decision for the character, and Rainn acted the hell out of it.
But knowing the Emmys like I think I know the Emmys, I'd give a slight edge to Jeremy Piven, because they're fucktards like that.
Best Supporting Actress, Comedy
Conchata Ferrell, Two and a Half Men
Jenna Fischer, The Office
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds
Jaime Pressley, My Name is Earl
Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty
I'm only going to say this: If Jenna Fischer does not win for this category, then there is no God. I talked about this in the post I made when the nominations first came out: Pam's character arc this season was the most interesting, most heartfelt, and overall, the best on this show or any other. She has come out of Roy's shadow, and most importantly, she has learned how to have fun without relying on Jim. She accepts that Jim has moved on after her rejection, and even though it kills her, she wants him to be happy (see the brilliant scene from "Back From Vacation," where after she gives Karen advice, she is seen sobbing her eyes out over it. And then the even-more-brilliant moment where Dwight tries to comfort her and fails miserably and yet remains sweet about it). And her progression continued in "Beach Games," where she found the courage to actually tell Jim off for being a douche, and if you can watch the last talking head in "The Job" and not cry, you have no heart my friend. No heart.
And yeah, Vanessa Williams could totally sweep in and steal the Emmy out from under her (damn ratings and celebrity), but Jenna is the best ACTRESS of this group, and therefore, should win.
My pick: Jenna Fischer
Best Supporting Actor, Drama
Michael Emerson, Lost
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos
T.R. Knight, Grey's Anatomy
Terry O'Quinn, Lost
Masi Oka, Heroes
William Shatner, Boston Legal
T.R. won't win outright; if he should win, it will be henceforth known as the "Congratulations on Being the Better Man" award. Masi Oka is cute - damn cute! -, but best actor in this category? Only if they want to reward him for learning to speak Japanese. And since when is Boston Legal a drama, and when has Shatner played anything dramatically? Even Star Trek was hilarious.
So it's between the two Michaels and Terry O'Quinn. Emmy would probably give it to Imperioli because he got whacked and the show is done. But I'd hope that they'd reward Terry O'Quinn, who had the most solid work in Lost to date. Between losing his faith and having the truth about his paralysis finally revealed, Locke had an amazing character arc this season, and not even "Through the Looking Glass" can overshadow that. I am sad that Dom Monaghan isn't in this category, but give it to Locke instead.
Best Supporting Actress, Drama
Lorrainne Bracco, The Sopranos
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers and Sisters
Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy
Aida Tuturro, The Sopranos
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy
Rachel's a nonentity. If she wins, it'll be because she was on Six Feet Under. If Katherine Heigl wins for her atrocious storyline (Really? Izzie and George are soulmates? Give me a freakin' break), heads will roll. And between Tuturro and Bracco, Bracco gets the edge. And while I absolutely adore Chandra Wilson, between her and Sandra Oh, Oh will get the award. *Sniff* Next year, Dr. Bailey; next year.
Between Bracco and Oh... ? I'd say a toss-up. Probably Lorrainne Bracco, though, because her show has ended and she's finally submitted herself in the correct category. Although Sandra Oh should win by being able to act as if she was in love with Isaiah Washington after he choked her costar.
Best Actor, Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carrell, The Office
Ricky Gervais, Extras
Tony Shaloub, Monk
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men
Shut up Tony Shaloub; it should go to Steve Carrell. I don't know what episode he submitted for himself, but I hope it was either "The Job" or "Traveling Salesmen/The Return". Both episodes show the very disparate sides of Michael Scott. In "TS/TR", he shows off his crassness and ineptitude when he tosses Phyllis's keys under her car so he could get a head start on his fake Amazing Race sales call non-contest. And then he is an absolutely fantastic salesman, and again, it's not hard to see how he managed to get noticed at Dunder-Mifflin. And he has to sit there while Andy totally fucks the sale up. His utter feeling of disappointment when he is tricked into believing that Dwight has betrayed him again, and his sadness when Dwight resigns. And finally, Andy Bernard becomes the first person since Toby that Michael just absolutely gives up trying to like. And in "The Job," when he realizes midway through his monologue that he can't get promoted in the job that he loves. Ricky Gervais, God bless him, wouldn't have been able to pull that type of acting off, I don't think. And Charlie Sheen only plays himself. And I love Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock, which is odd, because I hate him normally, but give it to Steve Carrell this year, if only for his Emmy speech.
Best Actress, Comedy
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
America Ferrarra, Ugly Betty
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Tina Fey is a writer, not an actor. Felicity Huffman had a stupid show this year. Julia has broken the Seinfeld curse and doesn't need to do it again. And Mary-Louise Parker is playing a drug dealer. And let's not forget the amazing buzz around America Ferrarra and Ugly Betty, and that's who should win.
Best Actor, Drama
James Gandolfini, The Sopranos
Hugh Laurie, House
Denis Leary, Rescue Me
James Spader, Boston Legal
Kiefer Sutherland, 24
24 was stupid this year. No one watches Rescue Me. And, again, since when is Boston Legal a drama? They'll either reward Gandolfini for getting whacked and having one of the most talked-about series finales ever, or they'll give it to Hugh Laurie, who has completely mastered an American accent and who SHOULD HAVE HOSTED THE EMMYS.
Best Actress, Drama
Patricia Arquette, Medium
Minnie Driver, The Riches
Edie Falco, The Sopranos
Sally Field, Brothers and Sisters
Mariska Hargitay, Law and Order: SVU
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
I'm gonna give this one to Kyra Sedgwick, just because.
Best Writing, Drama
Battlestar Galactica, "Occupation/Precipice"
Lost, "Through the Looking Glass"
The Sopranos, "Kennedy and Heidi"
The Sopranos, "The Second Coming"
The Sopranos, "Made in America"
As much as I'd love to see "Through the Looking Glass" make it, if only because it made me love Lost again, I'm gonna be the schmuck and give it to "Made in America", for being the finale to end all finales.
Best Writing, Comedy
30 Rock, "Tracy Does Conan"
30 Rock, "Jack-tor"
Extras, "Daniel Radcliffe"
The Office, "Gay Witch Hunt"
The Office, "The Negotiation"
Okay, I haven't yet rewatched "GWH," but it'll probably win because it's shorter than "The Negotiation" (which I still think was funny). But if there is a God, he'll give the Emmy to "Tracy Does Conan", if only for the five little words that were the hottest ever uttered on that damn show: "Let's not do this, Elizabeth." Oh, Conan.
My Pick: Gay Witch Hunt (And then listen to Emily in San Francisco as she screams WHAT THE FUCK?!)
Best Drama
Boston Legal
Grey's Anatomy
Heroes
House
The Sopranos
Is there anyone still out there who doesn't think The Sopranos is going to win this one?
Best Comedy
30 Rock
Entourage
The Office
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Is there anyone still out there who doesn't think The Office is going to win this one?
Stephen Colbert's Chances of Winning An Award
All I'm going to say: if he loses to Tony Bennett this year, elevator music will never be the same again. Because Stephen will decide that the only way to win an Emmy is to go on HBO and have a concert special where he sings standards. And he could do it, and he would do it, and he would win the Emmy then.