i've disconnected my heart and cut myself on the wires
I swear to god I'm going to get better at this.
Alaina Turning Thirty
... already happened. And after all my feelings about not being prepared, or not handling it well, it went as I expected: over in 24 hours. One day I was 29, and the next day I was 30. My biggest concern around the whole turning thirty thing was that I felt I hadn't accomplished anything. Like, I had a career, but I hated it; I'm living on my own, but barely scraping by; I have more debt than income, but yeah, that's practically everyone at my age; but I'm also still single, and nearly everyone I know is either in a relationship, or has been in a relationship, however superficial it may have been. I have not. I have been involved with my career, and television, and other things and I just really felt ... un-good about that.
Other things that weighed me down during the whole process: the idea that there were things I haven't done prior to thirty that would be really dumb for a thirty-year-old to do. For instance, color my hair a wacky color. Or, get a crazy tattoo. Or, I don't know -- somehow demonstrate a lack of responsibility.
So now I'm on the other side, so to speak. And my college pal Jen is helping me turn my "pre-30 Bucket List" into a "List of Things To Do Now That I Have the Time." Or something. So hopefully this is the year I get out more, do more things, meet new people, and hopefully ...
Getting Out of Retail
SERIOUSLY. I am DONE with this industry. Done! Can't even, anymore! I am almost to the point where I am sick of people coming into my store without money and/or the intent of purchasing anything! Now that my store is tracking conversion (# of sales / # of people coming in = Conversion), my store is SCREWED. Cuz I don't know about where you live, but in Maine? The Mall is the only thing to do on the weekend. So everyone comes in, and is all, "Oh, is this a new store? How long have you been here? Oh no, we're just looking. Bye-ee!" Kill me. Please.
And this may be another rant for another day, but PEOPLE: Retail workers are people too. Do NOT be offended or, worse, DO NOT become PISSED OFF if one of us - any of us! - says 'Hello, how are you?' I mean, SERIOUSLY? We had a woman who was greeted -- greeted only, as in, an associate goes up to her and says "Hi, how are you?" And the woman replies: "Fine." [FLIPS THE FUCK OUT] "Can't even LOOK anymore!," tosses a pile of clothes back on the table and storms out.
WE ARE GETTING PAID TO OFFER YOU HELP. IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, FINE; AT LEAST BE MOTHERFUCKING POLITE, OKAY? Just say "I'm just looking, but if you need help I'll let you know," make eye contact, and smile. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO DO. And I PROMISE, I will LEAVE YOU ALONE. I might check in by asking, "Are you still doing okay?" And if you need help at that time, I'm all yours! If you do not, that's okay! JUST BE POLITE. I AM NOT TRYING TO MURDER YOU. I will be ANGRIER at you if you are rude to me, mess up my store, denounce my ability to help you if you actually need help, and then walk out with nothing. If you are polite and recognize that I am available to help you IF YOU REQUIRE IT, but still don't end up buying anything, I'll be OKAY WITH THAT.
I swear, I should turn that into a How-To Seminar for Idiots. How to Shop For Clothes And Not Make Enemies: a Guide For Surviving a Retail Industry.
GAH. So now that that's all ranted out, yes: I am searching for a new job. Something that doesn't involve me bending over backwards in a customer-service-related fashion. Does anyone have something in a "weekends off" look? It'd be nice to commit to a Saturday three months from now.
So that's where I'm at. I come home from work, eat, catch up on TV (while crocheting -- I've turned into a crocheting fiend), then I go to Sydney the Laptop and browse through Facebook, the flist, Television Without Pity, Gawker, and Craigslist's Missed Connections, because not only are they fucking hilarious, but they're also a way I can attempt to remain optimistic that people notice me.
Except they never do. Because I blend into the background. I'm a blender.
Ooo - blender. I still have margaritas, don't I?
Okay, on to more positive stuff:
- VERONICA MARS IS BEING MADE INTO A MOVIE, Y'ALL!! and ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT HAS NEW EPISODES ON MAY 26
It's like all of a sudden it's seven years ago and my television-watching heart can't take it!
I'm toying with the idea of doing a rewatch of AD before May 26 and going episode by episode: the characters we're introduced to, summary, best line, character growth, important plot points, references, call-backs... but then I think "I haven't posted last year's Books Read and/or Top Ten TV Moments lists, what makes you think you can post about ... *quickly does math* ... 53 episodes? YEAH RIGHT"
- AT SOME POINT my friend Jen and I will be attempting to do a read of Game of Thrones. Because I don't know what it's about besides a bunch of medieval people who want to be king. And there's a throne, and there are games. And also, dragons. Guys, maybe watch The Lion in Winter? That movie's the shit. I mean, Peter O'Toole, Katherine Hepburn, AND Anthony Hopkins, plus a cameo by Timothy Dalton? PLUS HISTORY AND PONTIFICATING. Seriously, it's ... well, I watched it over the course of three days because it does get long-winded, but I bet it's better on-stage?
So anyway. Yeah. Stay tuned? And also, bets on when I update next. I've got $20 on June 18. For no reason whatsoever.
Alaina Turning Thirty
... already happened. And after all my feelings about not being prepared, or not handling it well, it went as I expected: over in 24 hours. One day I was 29, and the next day I was 30. My biggest concern around the whole turning thirty thing was that I felt I hadn't accomplished anything. Like, I had a career, but I hated it; I'm living on my own, but barely scraping by; I have more debt than income, but yeah, that's practically everyone at my age; but I'm also still single, and nearly everyone I know is either in a relationship, or has been in a relationship, however superficial it may have been. I have not. I have been involved with my career, and television, and other things and I just really felt ... un-good about that.
Other things that weighed me down during the whole process: the idea that there were things I haven't done prior to thirty that would be really dumb for a thirty-year-old to do. For instance, color my hair a wacky color. Or, get a crazy tattoo. Or, I don't know -- somehow demonstrate a lack of responsibility.
So now I'm on the other side, so to speak. And my college pal Jen is helping me turn my "pre-30 Bucket List" into a "List of Things To Do Now That I Have the Time." Or something. So hopefully this is the year I get out more, do more things, meet new people, and hopefully ...
Getting Out of Retail
SERIOUSLY. I am DONE with this industry. Done! Can't even, anymore! I am almost to the point where I am sick of people coming into my store without money and/or the intent of purchasing anything! Now that my store is tracking conversion (# of sales / # of people coming in = Conversion), my store is SCREWED. Cuz I don't know about where you live, but in Maine? The Mall is the only thing to do on the weekend. So everyone comes in, and is all, "Oh, is this a new store? How long have you been here? Oh no, we're just looking. Bye-ee!" Kill me. Please.
And this may be another rant for another day, but PEOPLE: Retail workers are people too. Do NOT be offended or, worse, DO NOT become PISSED OFF if one of us - any of us! - says 'Hello, how are you?' I mean, SERIOUSLY? We had a woman who was greeted -- greeted only, as in, an associate goes up to her and says "Hi, how are you?" And the woman replies: "Fine." [FLIPS THE FUCK OUT] "Can't even LOOK anymore!," tosses a pile of clothes back on the table and storms out.
WE ARE GETTING PAID TO OFFER YOU HELP. IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, FINE; AT LEAST BE MOTHERFUCKING POLITE, OKAY? Just say "I'm just looking, but if you need help I'll let you know," make eye contact, and smile. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO DO. And I PROMISE, I will LEAVE YOU ALONE. I might check in by asking, "Are you still doing okay?" And if you need help at that time, I'm all yours! If you do not, that's okay! JUST BE POLITE. I AM NOT TRYING TO MURDER YOU. I will be ANGRIER at you if you are rude to me, mess up my store, denounce my ability to help you if you actually need help, and then walk out with nothing. If you are polite and recognize that I am available to help you IF YOU REQUIRE IT, but still don't end up buying anything, I'll be OKAY WITH THAT.
I swear, I should turn that into a How-To Seminar for Idiots. How to Shop For Clothes And Not Make Enemies: a Guide For Surviving a Retail Industry.
GAH. So now that that's all ranted out, yes: I am searching for a new job. Something that doesn't involve me bending over backwards in a customer-service-related fashion. Does anyone have something in a "weekends off" look? It'd be nice to commit to a Saturday three months from now.
So that's where I'm at. I come home from work, eat, catch up on TV (while crocheting -- I've turned into a crocheting fiend), then I go to Sydney the Laptop and browse through Facebook, the flist, Television Without Pity, Gawker, and Craigslist's Missed Connections, because not only are they fucking hilarious, but they're also a way I can attempt to remain optimistic that people notice me.
Except they never do. Because I blend into the background. I'm a blender.
Ooo - blender. I still have margaritas, don't I?
Okay, on to more positive stuff:
- VERONICA MARS IS BEING MADE INTO A MOVIE, Y'ALL!! and ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT HAS NEW EPISODES ON MAY 26
It's like all of a sudden it's seven years ago and my television-watching heart can't take it!
I'm toying with the idea of doing a rewatch of AD before May 26 and going episode by episode: the characters we're introduced to, summary, best line, character growth, important plot points, references, call-backs... but then I think "I haven't posted last year's Books Read and/or Top Ten TV Moments lists, what makes you think you can post about ... *quickly does math* ... 53 episodes? YEAH RIGHT"
- AT SOME POINT my friend Jen and I will be attempting to do a read of Game of Thrones. Because I don't know what it's about besides a bunch of medieval people who want to be king. And there's a throne, and there are games. And also, dragons. Guys, maybe watch The Lion in Winter? That movie's the shit. I mean, Peter O'Toole, Katherine Hepburn, AND Anthony Hopkins, plus a cameo by Timothy Dalton? PLUS HISTORY AND PONTIFICATING. Seriously, it's ... well, I watched it over the course of three days because it does get long-winded, but I bet it's better on-stage?
So anyway. Yeah. Stay tuned? And also, bets on when I update next. I've got $20 on June 18. For no reason whatsoever.