kinda always knew i'd end up your ex-girlfriend
Seriously. This whole "going months between postings" things has just got to stop!
Here are some brief things, and hopefully -- once I can get Jeremy the TiVo: Episode IV: A New Hope down under 88% full (and yes, that is totally his full name. Shut up, all of y'all), I can get back to a semi-regular posting schedule.
POINT THE FIRST: I Swear I Am Being Punk'd?
So I'm on Twitter [@WillBeFunOrElse], and all of a sudden yesterday, I kept seeing posts about some footballer's girlfriend dying and then it apparently was a hoax? I haven't quite received the particulars, but there's this football player -- Manti Te'o, or whatever -- and apparently he had a girlfriend? But she died? And he didn't have to go to her funeral, because she was cool with it? And maybe they were only dating online and that's why it wasn't a big deal? But then it turned out that she not only wasn't actually dead, but they weren't actually dating? I'm not sure?
HERE'S THE THING. Gawker helpfully posted this article: How to Tell if Your Friend's Girlfriend Is Not Real: A Lesson From the Manti Te'o Fiasco.
The next time one of your bros-even if he is a best bro-casually mentions he "totally has a girlfriend; very pretty; very real," use this checklist to determine whether or not she actually exists.
1. If your friend has never met his girlfriend of one year... ...That girlfriend is: not real.
Well. There goes my Word Doc of all of Brad's Girlfriend's Information. All that investigation for NOTHING. Because CLEARLY, she is not real.
Let's see, what else. Oh! There's no way in hell I'm doing Oscar!Watch this year. I don't want to get into it again -- mainly because I recently did over on Movies Alaina's Never Seen -- but basically, I'm over the Oscars. There needs to be, like, a People's Choice Awards, but with more integrity? Or the American Music Awards for movies? Something more populist. Now, a week ago, I would have not included the Golden Globes in that list, but after they so rightly awarded Argo with the Best Picture in Drama award, as well as Ben Affleck Best Director, I have to admit -- they gained some respect from me. But yeah -- congratulations, 2013 Oscars. You've pissed me off and made me desert my Movie-Watching Masochism over ... Ben Affleck. What the fuck.
I BELIEVE WE ARE UP TO THREE. At some point -- again, once I get the TiVo down a bit, and hey, I just finished a book in less than a month, and also, Return of the Jedi, and I should honestly get those dishes done -- but anyway, I do intend to do my Year in Review. It should include how last year's Tarot predictions stacked up against reality; the Top Ten TV Moments; a link to the books I've read with a small commentary, and maybe, a tarot reading for 2013. Y'know. If all things line up the way they should.
NUMERO QUATRO ESTA: So ... I turn 30 in less than three months. In the words of the great Margo Channing, I hadn't quite made up my mind to admit it. Now I suddenly feel as if I've taken all my clothes off.
Uh, anyway. Now that I've just spent nearly an hour re-reading that adaptation of All About Eve I transcribed [JESUS] nine years ago, and realized that one of the things I want to do before I die is stage it so I can play Addison DeWitt, because let's face it, that will be AMAZE-BALLS, but anyway: I've created a bucket list of Things I Need To Do Before March 26. Most of them are stupid things I should have done in the past ten years, like, finish writing one of these goddamn stories that are languishing on my harddrive, or, get a tattoo, or, other things that I'll put in a memo on my phone but not necessarily publish to the Internets, because I have to have some privacy? Or something? Anyway. I'll see what I can accomplish in THERE IS NO WAY I AM COUNTING THE DAYS-days.
Finally - 5 - You know that you should probably dust off ye olde resume when your regional manager comes for a visit and says, "Y'know, you're a very intelligent young woman, your business acumen is amazing, your store always looks great ... but maybe people management isn't your thing?"
God, I love breaking *that* tag out. /sarcasm
Here are some brief things, and hopefully -- once I can get Jeremy the TiVo: Episode IV: A New Hope down under 88% full (and yes, that is totally his full name. Shut up, all of y'all), I can get back to a semi-regular posting schedule.
POINT THE FIRST: I Swear I Am Being Punk'd?
So I'm on Twitter [@WillBeFunOrElse], and all of a sudden yesterday, I kept seeing posts about some footballer's girlfriend dying and then it apparently was a hoax? I haven't quite received the particulars, but there's this football player -- Manti Te'o, or whatever -- and apparently he had a girlfriend? But she died? And he didn't have to go to her funeral, because she was cool with it? And maybe they were only dating online and that's why it wasn't a big deal? But then it turned out that she not only wasn't actually dead, but they weren't actually dating? I'm not sure?
HERE'S THE THING. Gawker helpfully posted this article: How to Tell if Your Friend's Girlfriend Is Not Real: A Lesson From the Manti Te'o Fiasco.
The next time one of your bros-even if he is a best bro-casually mentions he "totally has a girlfriend; very pretty; very real," use this checklist to determine whether or not she actually exists.
1. If your friend has never met his girlfriend of one year... ...That girlfriend is: not real.
Well. There goes my Word Doc of all of Brad's Girlfriend's Information. All that investigation for NOTHING. Because CLEARLY, she is not real.
Let's see, what else. Oh! There's no way in hell I'm doing Oscar!Watch this year. I don't want to get into it again -- mainly because I recently did over on Movies Alaina's Never Seen -- but basically, I'm over the Oscars. There needs to be, like, a People's Choice Awards, but with more integrity? Or the American Music Awards for movies? Something more populist. Now, a week ago, I would have not included the Golden Globes in that list, but after they so rightly awarded Argo with the Best Picture in Drama award, as well as Ben Affleck Best Director, I have to admit -- they gained some respect from me. But yeah -- congratulations, 2013 Oscars. You've pissed me off and made me desert my Movie-Watching Masochism over ... Ben Affleck. What the fuck.
I BELIEVE WE ARE UP TO THREE. At some point -- again, once I get the TiVo down a bit, and hey, I just finished a book in less than a month, and also, Return of the Jedi, and I should honestly get those dishes done -- but anyway, I do intend to do my Year in Review. It should include how last year's Tarot predictions stacked up against reality; the Top Ten TV Moments; a link to the books I've read with a small commentary, and maybe, a tarot reading for 2013. Y'know. If all things line up the way they should.
NUMERO QUATRO ESTA: So ... I turn 30 in less than three months. In the words of the great Margo Channing, I hadn't quite made up my mind to admit it. Now I suddenly feel as if I've taken all my clothes off.
Uh, anyway. Now that I've just spent nearly an hour re-reading that adaptation of All About Eve I transcribed [JESUS] nine years ago, and realized that one of the things I want to do before I die is stage it so I can play Addison DeWitt, because let's face it, that will be AMAZE-BALLS, but anyway: I've created a bucket list of Things I Need To Do Before March 26. Most of them are stupid things I should have done in the past ten years, like, finish writing one of these goddamn stories that are languishing on my harddrive, or, get a tattoo, or, other things that I'll put in a memo on my phone but not necessarily publish to the Internets, because I have to have some privacy? Or something? Anyway. I'll see what I can accomplish in THERE IS NO WAY I AM COUNTING THE DAYS-days.
Finally - 5 - You know that you should probably dust off ye olde resume when your regional manager comes for a visit and says, "Y'know, you're a very intelligent young woman, your business acumen is amazing, your store always looks great ... but maybe people management isn't your thing?"
God, I love breaking *that* tag out. /sarcasm