You used to stay up to watch the adverts
TV Post of Doom.
Gossip Girl 3.1: "Reversals of Fortune"
Oh, Serena. Clearly this summer, you fell off the slut wagon and landed right on Carter Baizen's dick. And that man is all dick, so it's not like it was hard for you to impale yourself. People (namely, TWoP and Johnny O) that Serena's gotten super-slutty all of a sudden, but I say thee nay: Serena's always been slutty; it's just for two years she had Dan to temper that urge because Dan's the biggest wet blanket around. Also, he's nice, and she didn't want to fuck it up (heh). But pre-Dan and clearly post-Dan, there is some major banging going on in Serena's lady castle. (What?!) But couple this rash of ... well, attempting to get as many rashes as possible (In the woods, Serena?) with her attitude at how Gossip Girl said she was going to be irrelevant this year in college last season which freaked her out more than it probably should have, this character development kind of makes sense. She doesn't want to be irrelevant, and now, she also wants her daddy to notice her. Which, wonderful: another fucking teen show with fucking daddy issues. *rolls eyes heavenward*
But remember, folks, I don't watch Gossip Girl for the Serena Angst. No - I watch for Chuck Bass and his wonderful, wonderful clothing. And he did not disappoint. I wish What Chuck Wore would hurry up and update already, because the 1980s yacht club suit he was walking around the East Side in? Priceless. And Blair's awesome shoes and headbands!
Line of the night: Blair: "Take your American Girl hair and your poreless skin and get the hell out of here!"
Next week: DOROTA. AND GEORGINA. AND COLLEGE. SQUEEEEEEEE!
Bones 5.1: Harbingers in a Fountain
Oh, BOOTH. He comes back from brain surgery and thinks he's in love with Brennan, but he's not sure, because he can't remember loving her pre-surgery, and allow me to enlighten you, Booth: YA DID. I almost broke down on the couch when he cradled her in her arms after she was stabbed by the crazy evil doctor. It wasn't as bad as when Mary was in surgery in In Plain Sight and Marshall crumpled to the tunes of "The Lightning Strike" by Snow Patrol*, but it still wrenched these heartstrings.
Also: Cyndi Lauper as a psychic. The interchange between Sweets and Booth, where Booth thinks the PET scan of his brain is something much dirtier. The use of "harbinger" in the title. And finally, the amnesia is gone. THANKFULLY.
Fringe 2.1: "A New Day in the Old Town"
Pacey rules. I don't care that his name is Peter in this show; he will always be Pacey. Even in real life, his name is Pacey. And Pacey can wake Olivia up with a touch! And he loves her and can't handle her being brain-dead (and I totally wrote these sentences out of order, but I'm not going back now) and so he drinks with Broyles (BROYLES!). And then this shapeshifter serial killer from another dimension killed Charlie (NOOOOOOOOOOO) so Olivia will think Evil!Charlie is Normal!Charlie, and now I feel cheated, because it's totally the Francinator** all over again.
Community 1.1: "Pilot"
This could easily be my new favorite show. John Oliver saying "booyah!" Joel McHale being slimy. The Breakfast Club references! Caroline from Bones playing the angry lunch lady! I can't be more coherent than that right now, but I will definitely be giving this another shot. Plus, Chevy Chase! And he's not annoying: Bonus!
Psych 4.6: "Bollywood Homicide"
OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN FOREVER. Okay, as soon as Hulu posts the episode, I will link to this, because it's BEYOND AWESOME.
For starters:
- Spider!Pig!! He plays a man who believes he's been cursed, which causes all of his girlfriends to have horrible accidents. In the first interrogation scene with Lassie, he says that he hurts them, because he's a monster. I leapt up from the couch: "Of course you're a monster, you're Spider!Pig! But oh holy moly, Spider!Pig is Hott. With two t's. No, seriously, man makes a low-crew neck look lickable. I haven't liked Mohinder that much since early season 2 of The Show Which Will No Longer Be Named, when he was sharing pillow talk with NOAH!.
- Lassie vs. Shawn. I'm not one to slash characters frequently, but jeezum, Lassie and Shawn would make a hot couple. Shawn and Gus are too best-friendy to be slashed in my opinion, but Lassie and Shawn? I would watch that show. Y'know, on Logo. 'Cuz USA would never show that episode.
The Office 6.1: "Gossip"
Oh, Michael. Always needing to be loved, always needing to be the center of attention. But then he does have the shred of decency; he likes Stanley, and he doesn't want the rumor to be true. When he learns it is true, he tries his darndest to cover it up with enough false lies that the truth becomes obscured.
And Jim! And Pam! Covering for Michael because they recognized his good intentions with the cover-up, and probably a little shock that he managed to get one rumor right. And oh my effing God, how fricking cute are happy pregnant engaged Jim&Pam? Adorable.
ANDY. ANDY AND OSCAR NEED TO DATE. GET ON THIS. I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN, FOR IT WILL BE AWESOME.
Kevin playing Hangman to learn the rumor and failing miserably! Awww, poor Kevin.
So all the filming was completed yesterday. The poker game fell through; Brad went hiking with some guy friends and Jason's sister returned from Utah. Flexo and his girlfriend were going to come down, but I'm glad they didn't, because a) I totally haven't cleaned anything in, like, a week, and b) it gave me more, unanticipated time in which to edit this damned movie.
In twenty-four hours, Bono may be singing "40". OH MY GOD I'M SEEING U2 TOMORROW NIGHT. My excitement cannot be contained.
Gossip Girl 3.1: "Reversals of Fortune"
Oh, Serena. Clearly this summer, you fell off the slut wagon and landed right on Carter Baizen's dick. And that man is all dick, so it's not like it was hard for you to impale yourself. People (namely, TWoP and Johnny O) that Serena's gotten super-slutty all of a sudden, but I say thee nay: Serena's always been slutty; it's just for two years she had Dan to temper that urge because Dan's the biggest wet blanket around. Also, he's nice, and she didn't want to fuck it up (heh). But pre-Dan and clearly post-Dan, there is some major banging going on in Serena's lady castle. (What?!) But couple this rash of ... well, attempting to get as many rashes as possible (In the woods, Serena?) with her attitude at how Gossip Girl said she was going to be irrelevant this year in college last season which freaked her out more than it probably should have, this character development kind of makes sense. She doesn't want to be irrelevant, and now, she also wants her daddy to notice her. Which, wonderful: another fucking teen show with fucking daddy issues. *rolls eyes heavenward*
But remember, folks, I don't watch Gossip Girl for the Serena Angst. No - I watch for Chuck Bass and his wonderful, wonderful clothing. And he did not disappoint. I wish What Chuck Wore would hurry up and update already, because the 1980s yacht club suit he was walking around the East Side in? Priceless. And Blair's awesome shoes and headbands!
Line of the night: Blair: "Take your American Girl hair and your poreless skin and get the hell out of here!"
Next week: DOROTA. AND GEORGINA. AND COLLEGE. SQUEEEEEEEE!
Bones 5.1: Harbingers in a Fountain
Oh, BOOTH. He comes back from brain surgery and thinks he's in love with Brennan, but he's not sure, because he can't remember loving her pre-surgery, and allow me to enlighten you, Booth: YA DID. I almost broke down on the couch when he cradled her in her arms after she was stabbed by the crazy evil doctor. It wasn't as bad as when Mary was in surgery in In Plain Sight and Marshall crumpled to the tunes of "The Lightning Strike" by Snow Patrol*, but it still wrenched these heartstrings.
Also: Cyndi Lauper as a psychic. The interchange between Sweets and Booth, where Booth thinks the PET scan of his brain is something much dirtier. The use of "harbinger" in the title. And finally, the amnesia is gone. THANKFULLY.
Fringe 2.1: "A New Day in the Old Town"
Pacey rules. I don't care that his name is Peter in this show; he will always be Pacey. Even in real life, his name is Pacey. And Pacey can wake Olivia up with a touch! And he loves her and can't handle her being brain-dead (and I totally wrote these sentences out of order, but I'm not going back now) and so he drinks with Broyles (BROYLES!). And then this shapeshifter serial killer from another dimension killed Charlie (NOOOOOOOOOOO) so Olivia will think Evil!Charlie is Normal!Charlie, and now I feel cheated, because it's totally the Francinator** all over again.
Community 1.1: "Pilot"
This could easily be my new favorite show. John Oliver saying "booyah!" Joel McHale being slimy. The Breakfast Club references! Caroline from Bones playing the angry lunch lady! I can't be more coherent than that right now, but I will definitely be giving this another shot. Plus, Chevy Chase! And he's not annoying: Bonus!
Psych 4.6: "Bollywood Homicide"
OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN FOREVER. Okay, as soon as Hulu posts the episode, I will link to this, because it's BEYOND AWESOME.
For starters:
- Spider!Pig!! He plays a man who believes he's been cursed, which causes all of his girlfriends to have horrible accidents. In the first interrogation scene with Lassie, he says that he hurts them, because he's a monster. I leapt up from the couch: "Of course you're a monster, you're Spider!Pig! But oh holy moly, Spider!Pig is Hott. With two t's. No, seriously, man makes a low-crew neck look lickable. I haven't liked Mohinder that much since early season 2 of The Show Which Will No Longer Be Named, when he was sharing pillow talk with NOAH!.
- Lassie vs. Shawn. I'm not one to slash characters frequently, but jeezum, Lassie and Shawn would make a hot couple. Shawn and Gus are too best-friendy to be slashed in my opinion, but Lassie and Shawn? I would watch that show. Y'know, on Logo. 'Cuz USA would never show that episode.
The Office 6.1: "Gossip"
Oh, Michael. Always needing to be loved, always needing to be the center of attention. But then he does have the shred of decency; he likes Stanley, and he doesn't want the rumor to be true. When he learns it is true, he tries his darndest to cover it up with enough false lies that the truth becomes obscured.
And Jim! And Pam! Covering for Michael because they recognized his good intentions with the cover-up, and probably a little shock that he managed to get one rumor right. And oh my effing God, how fricking cute are happy pregnant engaged Jim&Pam? Adorable.
ANDY. ANDY AND OSCAR NEED TO DATE. GET ON THIS. I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN, FOR IT WILL BE AWESOME.
Kevin playing Hangman to learn the rumor and failing miserably! Awww, poor Kevin.
So all the filming was completed yesterday. The poker game fell through; Brad went hiking with some guy friends and Jason's sister returned from Utah. Flexo and his girlfriend were going to come down, but I'm glad they didn't, because a) I totally haven't cleaned anything in, like, a week, and b) it gave me more, unanticipated time in which to edit this damned movie.
In twenty-four hours, Bono may be singing "40". OH MY GOD I'M SEEING U2 TOMORROW NIGHT. My excitement cannot be contained.