'Cause she's an angel for sure (but that remains to be seen)
Thursday, August 27th
Me: OH! HEY!
Uncle Jean: Hi!
Me: Where were you last night?
Jean: ... What do you mean?
Me: I tried calling your office like, three times, and you weren't answering your phone. I needed your help to jump-start my car.
Jean: I'd have jumped you.
Me: Jean --
Jean: I'd have revved your engines.
Me: I'm not in the mood right now.
Jean: Gee, where I have heard that before...?
Me: JEAN! FOCUS! You may owe me a new car!
Jean: Why do I owe you a new car?!
Me: Because if you had been findable last night, I would have had you jump my car instead of my dad, who did it wrong, and now my car needs a new starter or something, and she may be dead, and it's all your fault because you were hiding, hence, you owe me a new car.
Jean: Yeah, I don't think that's how that works.
Me: Makes sense in my head.
Jean: Oh, I have a question for you.
Me: 'K. Shoot.
Jean: Not here.
Me: ... 'kay.
Jean: Come here.
[We walk out from the break room to hallway outside the break room.]
Me: What's up?
Jean: Wait ... come here. There are too many ears here.
Me: This isn't going to be naughty, is it?
Jean: No, it's not, don't give me that look, Amy.
Me: OH NO YOU DID NOT.
Jean: Question for you.
Me: Finally.
Jean: Let's say, hypothetically, that there's going to be a new Supervisor position open up in CS. Would you be interested? It's a pay grade 8 --
Me: Wait, are you leaving?
Jean: No, [Big Boss] finally realized that we need three supervisors to run things.
Me: It's about time.
Jean: Would you be interested?
Me: Jean ... I just got this new job, and I love it! Sure, I'm working heinous amounts of overtime, but it's worth it. There's a great team over there, they're all fun, and I'm enjoying myself for the first time in two years. If I took a new job, I think Sharon'd kill me.
Jean: Fair enough.
Me: Besides, weren't you the one to tell me that this Supervisor job sucks the soul out of you?
Jean: Yeah, it does.
Me: Well?! I'm sorry, but I like my soul where it is. Y'know, down in the soles of my feet, where I can walk on it and ignore it when it pains me.
Johnny O: Weevil!
Me: Hi, Dorota!
Johnny O: Meez Blair, Meez Blair! Oh! Guess who else shares a birthday with yours truly?
Me: Besides Hayden Panettiere?
Johnny O: Yes.
Me: I have no idea.
Johnny O: Blake Lively!
Me: Seriously? Awesome, man!
Jean: What's going on?
Me: Johnny shares a birthday with Claire from Heroes and Serena from Gossip Girl.
Johnny O: Can you imagine that birthday party?
Me: Please, I beg you, please don't mention your suit.
Jean: ... What suit?
Johnny O: Weevil?
Me: A birthday suit?
Jean: Oh, that's disgusting!
Johnny O: I wasn't even thinking of that!
Me: Wow, you two are slow on the uptake today, aren't ya?
Jean: You have a new-hire shadowing at Pro Serve?
Me: Yeah...
Jean: Are you sure you should be leaving her alone?
Me: Look, Marybeth already talked to me about it. It's fine. I just watched her for an entire transaction, which was a monogramming pick-and-ship, plus OAP coupons. She was a little nervous, but she has to learn sometime. She was fine, and she's getting more confident.
Jean: Okay.
Me: Do you think I should move her?
Jean: Nope. As long as you're on top of it, I'm good.
Me: Uch... I heard that.
Jean: Oh, you did, huh?
Me: Don't think you're getting off that easy.
Friday, August 28
[Kate and I are upstairs in the Home break room, working on signage. Two security/communications guys walk in, talking to each other.]
Security Dude: Well, what that tells me, is that their fire pump is running backwards.
[Kate and I immediately look up at each other, worried looks on each other's faces. The Security Dudes leave.]
Me: You heard that too, right?
Kate: Just checking that wasn't just me that heard that.
Parris: "Bungalow Rose."
Me: It's a table lamp.
Kate: It sounds like a prostitute.
Parris: In New Orleans.
Me: Alaina. Farmhouse has an 'h' in it. You just wrote 'farmouse.' We don't make a Farmouse expanding table.
Kate: Hmm.
Me: What?
Kate: I have a dilemma.
Me: How so?
Kate: Well, I really want a Dr. Pepper. But on the vending machine, its picture is of a can of Dr. Pepper. But the price is $1.35, the same price as a bottle of any other soda.
Me: Ah.
Kate: So, I could take the risk that I'm actually buying a bottle of soda, and the vending machine dudes ran out of Dr. Pepper bottle pictures.
Me: Or, you could accidentally buy a can of soda for $1.35.
Kate: You see my problem.
Me: Well, I don't think they're able to mix bottles and cans in the same vending machine. Though I've been wrong before.
Kate: Well, lemme try this.
[Kate puts her two dollars in and pushes the Dr. Pepper button. We wait, nervous. And then - ]
Us: Yay! A bottle! \o/ \o/
Kate: You know you've reached the point of no return with loopiness when you're cheering the vending machine for giving you what you want.
Me: No kidding.
I have 13 hours of overtime right now. I also had a minor freakout this morning when I thought I had forgotten to retreive my debit card from the ATM last night. Turns out it had fallen into the crack of the passenger seat, so I'm able to buy groceries. But after the hell that Margo's putting me through and working the aforementioned 13 hours of overtime (and counting), it was like, what next?! But yeah, I'm working tomorrow for, at most, four hours. And I still haven't done those dishes.
Kill me now.