I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
Dear Genius:
I bought "The Flame You Follow" from iTunes. Doesn't it make sense that since I bought it from you, you'd be able to, I don't know, make a playlist? I'm bored and depressed and full of angst - I do not want to listen to The Ditty Bops on the playlist you create when I choose "Make This Go On Forever" by Snow Patrol. Just because it was on Grey's Anatomy doesn't mean I'm in the mood for it.
But seriously - I hate when Mercury's in Retrograde. My writing ability has been shit the past four months regardless - the last thing I posted that I was a) happy with and b) managed to finish relatively quickly (relative = less than two years working on it) was, what? Department of Oversharing? And that wasn't even fiction! So that brings me to The Plural of Bigfoot, and writing that was like pulling teeth because while I watch both Bones and Grey's Anatomy, I do not feel comfortable writing their jargon. So really, the last thing I wrote that I felt so damn good about was eight ball will last if you triumphant be, which was back in August.
When Mercury is in Retrograde, it fucks up my mojo. It's like ... a thing that comes along and ... fucks up my mojo I CAN'T EVEN MAKE A GOOD METAPHOR ANYMORE.
I just ... I look at all my WsIP, and for the non-fannish stuff, I see the same damn characters - and none of them are talking. As for the fannish stuff ... I don't know. I'm just very blah in my writing processes lately, and I'm bored and I need a new! thing! And I just can't bring myself to either find a new! thing! or create one, because of this damn Inner Critic and ... blerg.
Maybe I've been working too much/hard/whatever. Maybe it's the economy. But I need a burst of creative energy, and I'm just not finding it anymore. I feel as if all of the really good ideas are locked in a little box inside, and I need something to unlock it. Right now, I've got a ring of keys and they keep getting jammed in the lock.
Hey! A metaphor!
It's also partly because I slightly suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder - I hate the cold, I hate snow, I hate long nights and short days, I hate driving in snow, I hate winter. January and February are two of the four worst months for my moods (the other two months being April and October, for those keeping track). So it's probably partly a holdover from that.
I guess I'm just bored. I'm definitely bored at work - the bloom has been off the rose for a long time on that one. I'm too broke to do anything, so I'm stuck at home unless I want to buy a cup of coffee and people-watch. TV bores me - I was taping two things last night so I have to watch Lost online, but I'm hesitant, because it's Lost and I get confused easily now. 30 Rock is still awesome, but I'm getting bored with the Jack/Liz hijinks. Bring back Pete and Josh! Where the hell is Josh?! Now that Pam and Jim are a couple, I don't care about The Office as much. The only show I feel truly emotionally invested in is How I Met Your Mother, but not enough to be truly fannish about it (although I do want to write a crossover where Barney asks the Devil from Reaper for help with Robin - it seems like Barney and the Devil would be legendary together). And Heroes - I haven't even watched the "Villains" arc finale yet, because I can't bring myself to watch the awfulness.
I'm just bored, and need inspiration. I'm hoping that next week I only have 22 hours so I can go to a Starbucks and people watch. Or go to a museum (on a free night, natch) so I can get inspired by something.
I'm also waiting for February 1st, when Mercury comes back from the other side of the sun and the Retrograde is over. Little bastard planet, fucking everything up.
I bought "The Flame You Follow" from iTunes. Doesn't it make sense that since I bought it from you, you'd be able to, I don't know, make a playlist? I'm bored and depressed and full of angst - I do not want to listen to The Ditty Bops on the playlist you create when I choose "Make This Go On Forever" by Snow Patrol. Just because it was on Grey's Anatomy doesn't mean I'm in the mood for it.
But seriously - I hate when Mercury's in Retrograde. My writing ability has been shit the past four months regardless - the last thing I posted that I was a) happy with and b) managed to finish relatively quickly (relative = less than two years working on it) was, what? Department of Oversharing? And that wasn't even fiction! So that brings me to The Plural of Bigfoot, and writing that was like pulling teeth because while I watch both Bones and Grey's Anatomy, I do not feel comfortable writing their jargon. So really, the last thing I wrote that I felt so damn good about was eight ball will last if you triumphant be, which was back in August.
When Mercury is in Retrograde, it fucks up my mojo. It's like ... a thing that comes along and ... fucks up my mojo I CAN'T EVEN MAKE A GOOD METAPHOR ANYMORE.
I just ... I look at all my WsIP, and for the non-fannish stuff, I see the same damn characters - and none of them are talking. As for the fannish stuff ... I don't know. I'm just very blah in my writing processes lately, and I'm bored and I need a new! thing! And I just can't bring myself to either find a new! thing! or create one, because of this damn Inner Critic and ... blerg.
Maybe I've been working too much/hard/whatever. Maybe it's the economy. But I need a burst of creative energy, and I'm just not finding it anymore. I feel as if all of the really good ideas are locked in a little box inside, and I need something to unlock it. Right now, I've got a ring of keys and they keep getting jammed in the lock.
Hey! A metaphor!
It's also partly because I slightly suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder - I hate the cold, I hate snow, I hate long nights and short days, I hate driving in snow, I hate winter. January and February are two of the four worst months for my moods (the other two months being April and October, for those keeping track). So it's probably partly a holdover from that.
I guess I'm just bored. I'm definitely bored at work - the bloom has been off the rose for a long time on that one. I'm too broke to do anything, so I'm stuck at home unless I want to buy a cup of coffee and people-watch. TV bores me - I was taping two things last night so I have to watch Lost online, but I'm hesitant, because it's Lost and I get confused easily now. 30 Rock is still awesome, but I'm getting bored with the Jack/Liz hijinks. Bring back Pete and Josh! Where the hell is Josh?! Now that Pam and Jim are a couple, I don't care about The Office as much. The only show I feel truly emotionally invested in is How I Met Your Mother, but not enough to be truly fannish about it (although I do want to write a crossover where Barney asks the Devil from Reaper for help with Robin - it seems like Barney and the Devil would be legendary together). And Heroes - I haven't even watched the "Villains" arc finale yet, because I can't bring myself to watch the awfulness.
I'm just bored, and need inspiration. I'm hoping that next week I only have 22 hours so I can go to a Starbucks and people watch. Or go to a museum (on a free night, natch) so I can get inspired by something.
I'm also waiting for February 1st, when Mercury comes back from the other side of the sun and the Retrograde is over. Little bastard planet, fucking everything up.