I was delayed, I was way-laid
Today has clearly not been my day. Last night I fell asleep before 2, which, yay, but then I was up every couple of hours after experiencing very vivid, very odd, very bad dreams. Like, there was the one where my dad was asking me to call him and wish him goodnight while in the background of my dream, Franz Ferdinand's new single "Ulysses" kept playing, like a soundtrack, particularly the lyric about how 'you're never going home.' Uh, thanks? I seriously woke up in a sweat after that one (there was more stuff going on before that bit about my dad and "Ulysses," but that's all I can remember at this point - although I may have dreamt I was high).
Then there was the dream where Aunt Amy and Uncle Jean not only got two cats named Amy and Jean, but they had twins - one boy, one girl - named Little Amy and Little Jean. The girl was about four months older than the boy. I wanted to call Little Jean "Little J," after Little J on Gossip Girl, but they wouldn't let me.
There were more, I know. Then at noon, Pam called me and asked if I would be willing to work six hours tonight, on my night off, because a huge sale list had dropped this morning and needed to be completed ASAP. I said sure, thereby ruining my chances of heading to CoffeeBucks to write. Oh well - it's hours!
Then there was the enormous round of SERIOUSLY!? played, beginning with:
* Hearing "Where Are You Going" by DMB, followed immediately by the cover of "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" by Eddie Vedder
* Getting to work and realizing that both Jason and Brad called out for the flu, so the staff meeting got canceled
* Getting called away from sale tagging to help a 90-year old man search for a sweatshirt
* Oh, and Uncle Jean was there
* Losing the sale list because it was not where Flexo said it was
Uncle Jean: How are you?
Me: Not good.
Uncle Jean: What happened?
Me: Uh, let's see. It's my night off, and while I appreciate the hours, I've been in a funk all day. I can't find the sale lists because they're not where Flexo said they were -
Uncle Jean: Call him.
Me: Planning on it. My mother's going to have her gall bladder removed at some point in the near future, and, oh year, I was brought in contact with 90-year-old man chest this evening.
Uncle Jean: ... What?
Me: That old customer I got at the register? When I took him over to the sweatshirts, he wanted to try one on, so he took his first sweatshirt off, then the shirt underneath rode up and he didn't pull it down and ... it's the closest to second base on a guy I've gotten in months.
Uncle Jean: [Laughs hysterically]
Me: HELP ME.
* Managed to get the sale tagging complete
* Managed to sign most of the sale product - yay!
* Left half an hour after I was supposed to, so now I have 6.75 hours that I'll probably have to kill somewhere down the line through Sunday
* Turned on the radio: "Evenflow" on WBLM at 10:32
* Changed station. "Evenflow" on WCYY at 10:34
And yes, I realize, again, that Pearl Jam is rereleasing Ten for the anniversary or whatnot, but, come on!
* Went to McDonald's at 11 because I hadn't eaten dinner.
Me: Yes, I'd like two hamburgers and a medium Sprite, please.
Drive Thru Monkey: I'm sorry, we're on our Late Night Menu, and we don't have any hamburgers.
[Long pause while Alaina's Brain goes ping!]
Me: I'm sorry. You don't have ... hamburgers?
Drive Thru Monkey: Yes, ma'am. The closest thing to a hamburger would be a Quarter Pounder without cheese.
Me: Seriously?!
Not my day. I'm going to bed.
Then there was the dream where Aunt Amy and Uncle Jean not only got two cats named Amy and Jean, but they had twins - one boy, one girl - named Little Amy and Little Jean. The girl was about four months older than the boy. I wanted to call Little Jean "Little J," after Little J on Gossip Girl, but they wouldn't let me.
There were more, I know. Then at noon, Pam called me and asked if I would be willing to work six hours tonight, on my night off, because a huge sale list had dropped this morning and needed to be completed ASAP. I said sure, thereby ruining my chances of heading to CoffeeBucks to write. Oh well - it's hours!
Then there was the enormous round of SERIOUSLY!? played, beginning with:
* Hearing "Where Are You Going" by DMB, followed immediately by the cover of "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" by Eddie Vedder
* Getting to work and realizing that both Jason and Brad called out for the flu, so the staff meeting got canceled
* Getting called away from sale tagging to help a 90-year old man search for a sweatshirt
* Oh, and Uncle Jean was there
* Losing the sale list because it was not where Flexo said it was
Uncle Jean: How are you?
Me: Not good.
Uncle Jean: What happened?
Me: Uh, let's see. It's my night off, and while I appreciate the hours, I've been in a funk all day. I can't find the sale lists because they're not where Flexo said they were -
Uncle Jean: Call him.
Me: Planning on it. My mother's going to have her gall bladder removed at some point in the near future, and, oh year, I was brought in contact with 90-year-old man chest this evening.
Uncle Jean: ... What?
Me: That old customer I got at the register? When I took him over to the sweatshirts, he wanted to try one on, so he took his first sweatshirt off, then the shirt underneath rode up and he didn't pull it down and ... it's the closest to second base on a guy I've gotten in months.
Uncle Jean: [Laughs hysterically]
Me: HELP ME.
* Managed to get the sale tagging complete
* Managed to sign most of the sale product - yay!
* Left half an hour after I was supposed to, so now I have 6.75 hours that I'll probably have to kill somewhere down the line through Sunday
* Turned on the radio: "Evenflow" on WBLM at 10:32
* Changed station. "Evenflow" on WCYY at 10:34
And yes, I realize, again, that Pearl Jam is rereleasing Ten for the anniversary or whatnot, but, come on!
* Went to McDonald's at 11 because I hadn't eaten dinner.
Me: Yes, I'd like two hamburgers and a medium Sprite, please.
Drive Thru Monkey: I'm sorry, we're on our Late Night Menu, and we don't have any hamburgers.
[Long pause while Alaina's Brain goes ping!]
Me: I'm sorry. You don't have ... hamburgers?
Drive Thru Monkey: Yes, ma'am. The closest thing to a hamburger would be a Quarter Pounder without cheese.
Me: Seriously?!
Not my day. I'm going to bed.