Too much time spent dragging the past up
In honor of Sylar kind of being awesome this week (though not till the very end of the episode - dude, Sylar, if you're going to be awesome, BRING IT, okay?), he gets his own icon. Congratulations. It will be deleted if you become stupid again.
Oh, Daddy Issues abound in this episode, complete with killing off Awesome Mothers. Really, I didn't realize that Tim Kring hired Joss Whedon to start writing for Heroes. I mean, isn't he kind of busy writing Dollhouse?
Hiro/Claire in the Past
Claire: “That baby’s me.”
Yeah, duh, Claire. How many other babies do you think NOAH! received from Sulu? Also, really? Claire and Hiro have never met before now? How is that possible? I mean, hasn’t everyone met everyone else by now? Or was Claire too busy mackin’ on Peter to notice that there were other Heroes around?
Hiro: “All I know is, Where is train station? I must use toilet. More waffles, please.”
Aw, it’s like me and Spanish. All I know is, “Hola, mi llamo es Senor Cuervo. Donde esta la bibliotequa?” (I’m not even sure I spelled that right - I took French in high school.)
Look at that old school Game Boy! That thing is as … okay, not nearly as big as Hiro’s head, because let’s face it, Hiro has a large fucking head. But that Game Boy was large.
Oh my God, Claire, make a fucking decision! Watch yourself if you want to, see if I care! Oh, wait, I guess it’s important, because Mrs. Sulu mentioned ‘catalyst.’ Jeez, even if she was still on the roof watching NOAH! hold Baby!Claire, her little ears would have perked up and she would have raced down to learn more about herself, because that’s ALL SHE CARES ABOUT.
Mrs. Sulu has MUTANT HEALING POWER! Awesome! Too bad it doesn’t work on herself. So she wanted Hiro to be the catalyst? So, the catalyst was chosen, not determined by genetics? Eeee-interesting. And oh, poor Claire if Hiro does turn out to be the catalyst. Take that, Claire! What did I tell you last week when I said that it’s NOT ALL ABOUT YOU?!
So, wait - Claire is going to kidnap herself so they can’t inject the Catalyst into her blood? I - *sigh* Again, I have watched Back to the Future waaaay too many times, but if you CHANGE HISTORY IN THE PAST, your FUTURE CHANGES WITH IT. Which means, Claire, you may actually DIE IN THE PAST if you don’t have the Catalyst in your blood stream IN THE FUTURE. GAH.
Oh, no! Sulu met Future!Hiro! Again, shouldn’t this mean people start looking for a flux capacitor?
CLAIRE! DON’T MEET YOUR FUTURE MOTHER! I - I don’t understand.
Claire, what are you doing? Are you honestly kidnapping yourself? Oh, okay, you’re … changing your own diaper. I swear, this show makes me write sentences I never thought I’d write.
BONNIE. Your alias is BONNIE, Claire. God, even Sydney Bristow could remember what her fake name was. It took you two tries to remember your name? DUDE. NOAH!’s gonna sniff you out like the idiot you are. And you didn’t take the time to fully develop your cover story. Wow. You’re almost catching up to Sylar for Dumbest Hero Ever.
Oh, poor Sandra. She’s going to meet the Haitian really soon, isn’t she?
Oh, my God. Is Claire actually going to reach out to NOAH! and when she returns to the future/present/whatever, she and NOAH! are going to have their relationship mended? That would be a nice change of pace. Awwww! Claire actually made me go awwww!!
HIRO MADE HIS MOMMY WAFFLES! AWWW! What’s with the aww? Am I still watching Heroes? Is it slightly tugging my heartstrings and not my logic center? WHAT IS GOING ON?
No, here we go. Present!Hiro is telling his Mommy that he’s Hiro From the Future. This is the show I watched, because no one is stupid enough to do that when they go back in time.
So Mrs. Sulu gave Hiro back his memories, then made him the Catalyst, then died. At least Hiro is no longer ten, and hopefully, his adult character will begin to act … well, more adult.
How did Claire get back to the rooftop? FUCK! WHERE THE FUCK DID ARTHUR COME FROM? HOW DID HE FIGURE OUT WHERE THEY WERE? Aw, poor Hiro? No powers to get him home from 16 years ago? That’s not cool.
Sylar
Who the fuck is Sue Landers, a missing advice columnist? And where the frig did Sylar find a can of lighter fluid? Did he leave the beach in his bloody t-shirt, walk to the nearest convenience store to pick up some lighter fluid, leaving Elle’s body - still without pants, mind you - on the beach for early-morning surfers to find? REALLY? WOW. Sylar, you’re in the running for Dumbest Hero Ever. And there’s a lot of contenders for that title; you may want to put some lemon zest on your efforts.
Sylar: “Sue Landers? Special delivery.”
I’m sorry - it’s Sue’s birthday, and Sylar’s dressed as a delivery boy. I went to a very naughty, Hot Cops-esque place with that and giggled for about four minutes.
Don’t kill Sue, Sylar? Really, don’t! YOU’VE KILLED ENOUGH PEOPLE. AND IT’S HER BIRTHDAY!! Just … remember what Arthur told you about empathetically sharing powers? No, nothing? Sorry, Sue. You… well, I … your glasses were nice? Before blood streaked the lenses? And what’s with the witnesses? Sylar’s just gonna kill ‘em all? REALLY? So now he’s not killing to get powers, he’s killing for the hell of it? Oh, Sylar.
Okay, Crazy, Blood-Covered Sylar in the elevator? With the elevator music playing in the background? Has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on this show.
Peter
Of course, Mama Petrelli wants you to kill your father, Peter? How stupid are you? Oh, wait, never mind, I answered my question last week. YOU’RE AN IDIOT.
Mama Petrelli: “He will destroy you.”
Peter: “You don’t know that.”
YES SHE DOES, PETER. GOD.
You know what? Until Peter grows a pair and grows up and … gah. Shut up, Peter. I’m over you. No longer talking about you, even.
Arthur/Nathan/Tracey
What happened to Nathan’s hair? He’s got this weird, Conan O’Brien-esque flip going on up there. The frick?
Wait, I thought Flynt died last week when SpiderPig punched him in the head with a microscope? Dang. Guess it wasn’t fatal.
Whoa! Tracey and Arthur created super soldiers? What is this, The X-Files? Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised - they’ve had Black Oil Cancer Tears on this show, too. It’s only a matter of time before it’s revealed that all Sylar wants to do is find his missing sister, Samantha, and Claire ends up getting abducted, which, YES.
I’m glad that Nathan’s trying to tell the soldiers what’s going to happen to them. Granted, he’s not being very explicit about it, but he is giving them some form of warning.
Damn you, Arthur Petrelli. I was just thinking that it’s been almost an entire episode and we hadn’t seen SpiderPig yet, and I was pretty happy about that. Then you show him. *shrugs* At least he didn’t have any lines.
Oh, fuck you, SpiderPig. Shut the hell up.
Words cannot describe how bored I am with Tracey Strauss. I had no problems when Niki/Jessica died, and I wouldn’t cry when Tracey dies. Okay, Kring? You want to trim the character list down? Start with Tracey. SHE DOES NOTHING.
The Quest for the Bike Messenger
Dude, Surly’s going to run! WHY DIDN’T ONE OF YOU IDIOTS FOLLOW SURLY?! Wow. There are now four contenders for Dumbest Hero: Parkman, Peter, Claire and Sylar. Speed Racer is exempt because she was able to actually catch up to Surly and retrieve the sketches. And Sylar’s still winning for turning into a serial killer.
YES! Unspecial Ando will become Special Ando!
The End
OKAY, THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! The way that Sylar just, stopped the bullet, tested Arthur with the lie detector test, then let the bullet go? AWESOME. SYLAR, YOU WIN.
I really am done with Peter, though. Seriously. I could care less about Whiny McWhinerson.
Oh, Daddy Issues abound in this episode, complete with killing off Awesome Mothers. Really, I didn't realize that Tim Kring hired Joss Whedon to start writing for Heroes. I mean, isn't he kind of busy writing Dollhouse?
Hiro/Claire in the Past
Claire: “That baby’s me.”
Yeah, duh, Claire. How many other babies do you think NOAH! received from Sulu? Also, really? Claire and Hiro have never met before now? How is that possible? I mean, hasn’t everyone met everyone else by now? Or was Claire too busy mackin’ on Peter to notice that there were other Heroes around?
Hiro: “All I know is, Where is train station? I must use toilet. More waffles, please.”
Aw, it’s like me and Spanish. All I know is, “Hola, mi llamo es Senor Cuervo. Donde esta la bibliotequa?” (I’m not even sure I spelled that right - I took French in high school.)
Look at that old school Game Boy! That thing is as … okay, not nearly as big as Hiro’s head, because let’s face it, Hiro has a large fucking head. But that Game Boy was large.
Oh my God, Claire, make a fucking decision! Watch yourself if you want to, see if I care! Oh, wait, I guess it’s important, because Mrs. Sulu mentioned ‘catalyst.’ Jeez, even if she was still on the roof watching NOAH! hold Baby!Claire, her little ears would have perked up and she would have raced down to learn more about herself, because that’s ALL SHE CARES ABOUT.
Mrs. Sulu has MUTANT HEALING POWER! Awesome! Too bad it doesn’t work on herself. So she wanted Hiro to be the catalyst? So, the catalyst was chosen, not determined by genetics? Eeee-interesting. And oh, poor Claire if Hiro does turn out to be the catalyst. Take that, Claire! What did I tell you last week when I said that it’s NOT ALL ABOUT YOU?!
So, wait - Claire is going to kidnap herself so they can’t inject the Catalyst into her blood? I - *sigh* Again, I have watched Back to the Future waaaay too many times, but if you CHANGE HISTORY IN THE PAST, your FUTURE CHANGES WITH IT. Which means, Claire, you may actually DIE IN THE PAST if you don’t have the Catalyst in your blood stream IN THE FUTURE. GAH.
Oh, no! Sulu met Future!Hiro! Again, shouldn’t this mean people start looking for a flux capacitor?
CLAIRE! DON’T MEET YOUR FUTURE MOTHER! I - I don’t understand.
Claire, what are you doing? Are you honestly kidnapping yourself? Oh, okay, you’re … changing your own diaper. I swear, this show makes me write sentences I never thought I’d write.
BONNIE. Your alias is BONNIE, Claire. God, even Sydney Bristow could remember what her fake name was. It took you two tries to remember your name? DUDE. NOAH!’s gonna sniff you out like the idiot you are. And you didn’t take the time to fully develop your cover story. Wow. You’re almost catching up to Sylar for Dumbest Hero Ever.
Oh, poor Sandra. She’s going to meet the Haitian really soon, isn’t she?
Oh, my God. Is Claire actually going to reach out to NOAH! and when she returns to the future/present/whatever, she and NOAH! are going to have their relationship mended? That would be a nice change of pace. Awwww! Claire actually made me go awwww!!
HIRO MADE HIS MOMMY WAFFLES! AWWW! What’s with the aww? Am I still watching Heroes? Is it slightly tugging my heartstrings and not my logic center? WHAT IS GOING ON?
No, here we go. Present!Hiro is telling his Mommy that he’s Hiro From the Future. This is the show I watched, because no one is stupid enough to do that when they go back in time.
So Mrs. Sulu gave Hiro back his memories, then made him the Catalyst, then died. At least Hiro is no longer ten, and hopefully, his adult character will begin to act … well, more adult.
How did Claire get back to the rooftop? FUCK! WHERE THE FUCK DID ARTHUR COME FROM? HOW DID HE FIGURE OUT WHERE THEY WERE? Aw, poor Hiro? No powers to get him home from 16 years ago? That’s not cool.
Sylar
Who the fuck is Sue Landers, a missing advice columnist? And where the frig did Sylar find a can of lighter fluid? Did he leave the beach in his bloody t-shirt, walk to the nearest convenience store to pick up some lighter fluid, leaving Elle’s body - still without pants, mind you - on the beach for early-morning surfers to find? REALLY? WOW. Sylar, you’re in the running for Dumbest Hero Ever. And there’s a lot of contenders for that title; you may want to put some lemon zest on your efforts.
Sylar: “Sue Landers? Special delivery.”
I’m sorry - it’s Sue’s birthday, and Sylar’s dressed as a delivery boy. I went to a very naughty, Hot Cops-esque place with that and giggled for about four minutes.
Don’t kill Sue, Sylar? Really, don’t! YOU’VE KILLED ENOUGH PEOPLE. AND IT’S HER BIRTHDAY!! Just … remember what Arthur told you about empathetically sharing powers? No, nothing? Sorry, Sue. You… well, I … your glasses were nice? Before blood streaked the lenses? And what’s with the witnesses? Sylar’s just gonna kill ‘em all? REALLY? So now he’s not killing to get powers, he’s killing for the hell of it? Oh, Sylar.
Okay, Crazy, Blood-Covered Sylar in the elevator? With the elevator music playing in the background? Has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on this show.
Peter
Of course, Mama Petrelli wants you to kill your father, Peter? How stupid are you? Oh, wait, never mind, I answered my question last week. YOU’RE AN IDIOT.
Mama Petrelli: “He will destroy you.”
Peter: “You don’t know that.”
YES SHE DOES, PETER. GOD.
You know what? Until Peter grows a pair and grows up and … gah. Shut up, Peter. I’m over you. No longer talking about you, even.
Arthur/Nathan/Tracey
What happened to Nathan’s hair? He’s got this weird, Conan O’Brien-esque flip going on up there. The frick?
Wait, I thought Flynt died last week when SpiderPig punched him in the head with a microscope? Dang. Guess it wasn’t fatal.
Whoa! Tracey and Arthur created super soldiers? What is this, The X-Files? Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised - they’ve had Black Oil Cancer Tears on this show, too. It’s only a matter of time before it’s revealed that all Sylar wants to do is find his missing sister, Samantha, and Claire ends up getting abducted, which, YES.
I’m glad that Nathan’s trying to tell the soldiers what’s going to happen to them. Granted, he’s not being very explicit about it, but he is giving them some form of warning.
Damn you, Arthur Petrelli. I was just thinking that it’s been almost an entire episode and we hadn’t seen SpiderPig yet, and I was pretty happy about that. Then you show him. *shrugs* At least he didn’t have any lines.
Oh, fuck you, SpiderPig. Shut the hell up.
Words cannot describe how bored I am with Tracey Strauss. I had no problems when Niki/Jessica died, and I wouldn’t cry when Tracey dies. Okay, Kring? You want to trim the character list down? Start with Tracey. SHE DOES NOTHING.
The Quest for the Bike Messenger
Dude, Surly’s going to run! WHY DIDN’T ONE OF YOU IDIOTS FOLLOW SURLY?! Wow. There are now four contenders for Dumbest Hero: Parkman, Peter, Claire and Sylar. Speed Racer is exempt because she was able to actually catch up to Surly and retrieve the sketches. And Sylar’s still winning for turning into a serial killer.
YES! Unspecial Ando will become Special Ando!
The End
OKAY, THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! The way that Sylar just, stopped the bullet, tested Arthur with the lie detector test, then let the bullet go? AWESOME. SYLAR, YOU WIN.
I really am done with Peter, though. Seriously. I could care less about Whiny McWhinerson.