just me clowning around, again
Carrie sent me these metaphors/analogies. I found them funny:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work.
23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
the wall.
So today, in computer apps, a commercial for "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" came on and two kids decided to continue with their slight case of retardation and say something along the lines of "Who ever even heard of Volume 1?" It was at that moment that I took the liberty of explaining the fact that everyone had heard of it. (Or at least they should have...) and then they seemed oblivious as to who Quentin Tarantino even is. Honestly. What is wrong with the world?
Moving on...
Today, after school, I stayed after for like...40 minutes-ish...asking questions about the FST test tomorrow. How's that for attempting to not fail?
Katie told me this quote that went something like, "I hate school, it just gets in the way of my writing." Totally agree with that one. But hey, Summer is only a couple months away. Or a month.5?
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work.
23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
the wall.
So today, in computer apps, a commercial for "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" came on and two kids decided to continue with their slight case of retardation and say something along the lines of "Who ever even heard of Volume 1?" It was at that moment that I took the liberty of explaining the fact that everyone had heard of it. (Or at least they should have...) and then they seemed oblivious as to who Quentin Tarantino even is. Honestly. What is wrong with the world?
Moving on...
Today, after school, I stayed after for like...40 minutes-ish...asking questions about the FST test tomorrow. How's that for attempting to not fail?
Katie told me this quote that went something like, "I hate school, it just gets in the way of my writing." Totally agree with that one. But hey, Summer is only a couple months away. Or a month.5?