Altering The Checklist
Since my last couple of entries were rather depressing (and friends-locked), I thought I should knock out at least one entry in the meantime that's more upbeat (and public). So here goes.
If any of you read my Facebook, you may have seen that a few weeks ago, I overheard a group of students at the college I work for debating each other whether your life is "pretty much over" by age 40 or age 45. I'm not sure how they came up with those numbers - maybe the 40s are scarier to college kids nowadays than they were to me?
At any rate, after being amused by this for awhile, I started thinking about how some people (including me at one time, and still a little bit to this day) have gotten suckered by the trap of wanting to do certain things in their lives by certain ages. While this still clings a bit to the back of my mind, overall I was lucky enough to be able to break out of it and realize that there is no deadline on the things you want to do, that you love doing. But I have seen others who couldn't let go of this idea, and it became insidious and destructive. They became convinced that since they hadn't done X by age Y, that it was never going to happen.
So they gave up.
And thus, of course, it never happened for them.
I'm still frustrated that there are things I wanted to do with / wanted to happen in my life that haven't happened yet, but this is no longer a function of the calendar; I simply am frustrated that they haven't. (But wait, Danny, didn't you say this was supposed to be a more upbeat entry? Why yes I did, Danny, thank you for reminding me.) That said, earlier today I was making a mental checklist of the things I wanted to do with my life that I have done, and just for fun, decided to compare the ages I originally wanted to have them done by versus when they actually happened.
That age comparison, by the way, was just for a little wry fun - especially when I past the eldest age marking the essential end of life. The list of Have Dones was the point, and the gratitude.
So we're off with the Biggies . . .
Numbers are: Age Imagined / Age It Became Reality
Graduate from my college of choice: 22-24 / 27
Publish my first novel: 20s / 36
Publish a collaborative novel with my uncle and writing inspiration, Phil Farmer: 20s / 36
Write my dream historical novel / series about the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia: 20s / 37-40
Publish in one of my longtime favorite F/SF magazines: Late 20s / 38
Write my dream historical novel / series about Arizona: 20s to 30s / 40-43
Make it back on a trip to Arizona: 20s to early 30s / 41
Have a house on a mountainside by or within a forest: 30s / 43
Lifelong-dreamed-of trip to Europe: 20s to early 30s / 44
------------------------------LIFE ESSENTIALLY OVER-------------------------------------
Lifelong-dreamed-of trip to St. Augustine, Florida: 20s or early 30s / 45
* * *
Wow, look at all that stuff in my 40s. That's not half-bad for being Might As Well Be Dead.
So yeah, there are things I haven't yet accomplished that I want to, like publishing my historical series. But I look back over this list fully aware that I certainly have nothing to complain about - and knowing that if I'd been stuck in the mire of thinking "If I can't do it by Y age it'll never happen", then my entire list above would have been completely wiped out, all those happy events sent to oblivion.
So listen to the old man, kids. Stop thinking in terms of numbers, and start thinking in terms of being determined to do what you want to do no matter what.
If any of you read my Facebook, you may have seen that a few weeks ago, I overheard a group of students at the college I work for debating each other whether your life is "pretty much over" by age 40 or age 45. I'm not sure how they came up with those numbers - maybe the 40s are scarier to college kids nowadays than they were to me?
At any rate, after being amused by this for awhile, I started thinking about how some people (including me at one time, and still a little bit to this day) have gotten suckered by the trap of wanting to do certain things in their lives by certain ages. While this still clings a bit to the back of my mind, overall I was lucky enough to be able to break out of it and realize that there is no deadline on the things you want to do, that you love doing. But I have seen others who couldn't let go of this idea, and it became insidious and destructive. They became convinced that since they hadn't done X by age Y, that it was never going to happen.
So they gave up.
And thus, of course, it never happened for them.
I'm still frustrated that there are things I wanted to do with / wanted to happen in my life that haven't happened yet, but this is no longer a function of the calendar; I simply am frustrated that they haven't. (But wait, Danny, didn't you say this was supposed to be a more upbeat entry? Why yes I did, Danny, thank you for reminding me.) That said, earlier today I was making a mental checklist of the things I wanted to do with my life that I have done, and just for fun, decided to compare the ages I originally wanted to have them done by versus when they actually happened.
That age comparison, by the way, was just for a little wry fun - especially when I past the eldest age marking the essential end of life. The list of Have Dones was the point, and the gratitude.
So we're off with the Biggies . . .
Numbers are: Age Imagined / Age It Became Reality
Graduate from my college of choice: 22-24 / 27
Publish my first novel: 20s / 36
Publish a collaborative novel with my uncle and writing inspiration, Phil Farmer: 20s / 36
Write my dream historical novel / series about the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia: 20s / 37-40
Publish in one of my longtime favorite F/SF magazines: Late 20s / 38
Write my dream historical novel / series about Arizona: 20s to 30s / 40-43
Make it back on a trip to Arizona: 20s to early 30s / 41
Have a house on a mountainside by or within a forest: 30s / 43
Lifelong-dreamed-of trip to Europe: 20s to early 30s / 44
------------------------------LIFE ESSENTIALLY OVER-------------------------------------
Lifelong-dreamed-of trip to St. Augustine, Florida: 20s or early 30s / 45
* * *
Wow, look at all that stuff in my 40s. That's not half-bad for being Might As Well Be Dead.
So yeah, there are things I haven't yet accomplished that I want to, like publishing my historical series. But I look back over this list fully aware that I certainly have nothing to complain about - and knowing that if I'd been stuck in the mire of thinking "If I can't do it by Y age it'll never happen", then my entire list above would have been completely wiped out, all those happy events sent to oblivion.
So listen to the old man, kids. Stop thinking in terms of numbers, and start thinking in terms of being determined to do what you want to do no matter what.