Adventures In Mis-History
This evening I find myself the lucky recipient of access to some (non-collegiate) history / geography quizzes. And as you often see in magazine and newspaper columns, some of the answers are quite enlightening.
For example, do you know what form of economic system the United States uses? That's right, it's "chocolate". (Well, hey, I think we've overturned whole South American governments for chocolate. The CIA-backed Columbian Cocoa Coup of 1957 comes to mind.)
Whose invention was primarily responsible for the electrical power industry spreading across the country? "George Washington". First in war, first in peace, and first to install the outlets of his countrymen.
What type of map would be best used to trace particular historical developments in the country? "Southeast". The southeast is where it's all happening, baby!
What was the biggest change in human life since the development of agriculture? Take your pick: war, train tracks, man factorys, rural areas, different ways, money riches, the development of Israel, sloodles of immigrants, and something called Hanills.
Reading poor spelling and indecipherable handwriting has been a perilous adventure as well. The answer to one question about atlases is "special purposes", for instance. Out of that there came a story of space pirates comprised of spackle poopers who are watching those graceful sea creatures known as special porpoises while ignoring all the itching from that nasty rash disease, special perpes. (I figured special perpes must be a very contagious disease, as that spelling showed up numerous times across the papers--sometimes twice on the same one.)
I know it's probably not exactly nice of me to write an entry like this when I ultimately refused to become a teacher myself. But...dang. Don't schools ever grade for spelling anymore?
For example, do you know what form of economic system the United States uses? That's right, it's "chocolate". (Well, hey, I think we've overturned whole South American governments for chocolate. The CIA-backed Columbian Cocoa Coup of 1957 comes to mind.)
Whose invention was primarily responsible for the electrical power industry spreading across the country? "George Washington". First in war, first in peace, and first to install the outlets of his countrymen.
What type of map would be best used to trace particular historical developments in the country? "Southeast". The southeast is where it's all happening, baby!
What was the biggest change in human life since the development of agriculture? Take your pick: war, train tracks, man factorys, rural areas, different ways, money riches, the development of Israel, sloodles of immigrants, and something called Hanills.
Reading poor spelling and indecipherable handwriting has been a perilous adventure as well. The answer to one question about atlases is "special purposes", for instance. Out of that there came a story of space pirates comprised of spackle poopers who are watching those graceful sea creatures known as special porpoises while ignoring all the itching from that nasty rash disease, special perpes. (I figured special perpes must be a very contagious disease, as that spelling showed up numerous times across the papers--sometimes twice on the same one.)
I know it's probably not exactly nice of me to write an entry like this when I ultimately refused to become a teacher myself. But...dang. Don't schools ever grade for spelling anymore?