cha cha cha cha changes, turn and face the strange

[madtom_o_bedlam]

I hate moving. All of my childhood that's all I effing did. I moved all over this mofo country and while I like the place, it's installed within me a desire for some stability whilst at the same time convincing me that there is really no such thing. I've been at this apartment for almost a decade. I have a shot at a new place with free rent. I'd be surrounded by apartments filled with clients who will want things from me and I'll have to work hard to keep them from trying to come at me at all hours. There are a few clients living in that community that I don't really care for. Not that, that means anything, I am a professional. I am polite to Anthony, former boss, who I dislike intensely. But then he's a bully and the way to push my buttons quickly is to pick on folks with less power than yourself. I would be on call for emergencies but I don't have to be available for every petty squabble.

But I digress...

This is change, I don't like it. I attract it like it were dirt and I am covered in honey but this could be good change. I don't like the idea of change, but I like the idea of free rent, even if I will never truly be "off" work. Now there is no saying that I'll get the apartment, apps and resume's need to be in by Monday and I've not worked on my resume in a couple of years. Plus while I feel that my superiors love me and I have a lot of seniority so I feel that if I apply for it, I will get it. That doesn't mean that I will get it.

Today I'm getting very very drunk. This is such a bad idea. But it's happening. I'll think more later...I have so many things to think about but I'm not going to be thinking tonight...about anything...it's best.