My Unbelievable Parents
No, really, I don't believe them.
First of all, this mother of mine, who likes to leave me messages on my cell phone like, "Wake up!" Well, geez, I'm glad I went through the tedious voicemail dialogue for that valuable advice. Now I can remember to be awake...but OH SHAT! If I'm checking my messages....NOOOOOOO!
She also has the thoughtfulness call me when she's supposed to pick me up from the middle school to say, "I'm outside!" I mean, I know she's in a hurry, but the first years had their class interrupted by my phone ringing and she didn't really have anything to say. I knew she was outside.
Then there's my dad, who guilt-trips or bribes me into coming everywhere with him.
Today I had just woken up from taking a nap and I had stuff to catch up on, but he wanted to go to Staples.
Dad: MADS! COME TO STAPLES WITH ME!
Mads: I don't feel like going right now.
Dad: MAAAADS! ARE YOU COMING?
Mads: I don't feel like going today! Maybe some other time!
(a moment passes)
Dad: COME ON, MADS! LET'S GET GOING ALREADY!
Mads: I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO GO!
Dad: Oh. Well. I had a dream about my father* last night. I'd sure give anything to spend half an hour with him.
* My grandfather Julius died almost exactly a year before I was born. He has been in my life exclusively as a source of genetic worry and a method of guilt-tripping.
He also wanted to make some sort of Beef Wellington today for Guy Fawkes Day. Just because it's British...
I mean, it would have made more sense to go somewhere and have a bonfire.
But whee, an excuse to watch V for Vendetta? I'll take it!
And then there's Jessica...who likes the rabbit.
People are really wondering why I can't stand living here?
I mean, okay, they're my family and I owe them everything. Literally. They do everything for me. But that doesn't mean that their annoying habits aren't...really, really annoying.
Remember, remember, the 5th of November...
I wonder if that movie is going to lose its relevance now? ...nah...probably not. But at least its direct relevance should be put on hold for a little while. I find myself wondering...what are we going to talk about now?
It's sort of like this issue I've been worrying about in my personal life. You see, I'm actually a mean and spiteful person, and I take it out on my parents because they can't get rid of me. But when I leave home...who will I take things out on? I don't know if I would be able to avoid exploding at everyone.
Without certain people around at our nation's highest levels, I feel that we may run out of people to blame as a country, as well.
But, in both of these situations, it's definitely not a good enough reason to back out.
First of all, this mother of mine, who likes to leave me messages on my cell phone like, "Wake up!" Well, geez, I'm glad I went through the tedious voicemail dialogue for that valuable advice. Now I can remember to be awake...but OH SHAT! If I'm checking my messages....NOOOOOOO!
She also has the thoughtfulness call me when she's supposed to pick me up from the middle school to say, "I'm outside!" I mean, I know she's in a hurry, but the first years had their class interrupted by my phone ringing and she didn't really have anything to say. I knew she was outside.
Then there's my dad, who guilt-trips or bribes me into coming everywhere with him.
Today I had just woken up from taking a nap and I had stuff to catch up on, but he wanted to go to Staples.
Dad: MADS! COME TO STAPLES WITH ME!
Mads: I don't feel like going right now.
Dad: MAAAADS! ARE YOU COMING?
Mads: I don't feel like going today! Maybe some other time!
(a moment passes)
Dad: COME ON, MADS! LET'S GET GOING ALREADY!
Mads: I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO GO!
Dad: Oh. Well. I had a dream about my father* last night. I'd sure give anything to spend half an hour with him.
* My grandfather Julius died almost exactly a year before I was born. He has been in my life exclusively as a source of genetic worry and a method of guilt-tripping.
He also wanted to make some sort of Beef Wellington today for Guy Fawkes Day. Just because it's British...
I mean, it would have made more sense to go somewhere and have a bonfire.
But whee, an excuse to watch V for Vendetta? I'll take it!
And then there's Jessica...who likes the rabbit.
People are really wondering why I can't stand living here?
I mean, okay, they're my family and I owe them everything. Literally. They do everything for me. But that doesn't mean that their annoying habits aren't...really, really annoying.
Remember, remember, the 5th of November...
I wonder if that movie is going to lose its relevance now? ...nah...probably not. But at least its direct relevance should be put on hold for a little while. I find myself wondering...what are we going to talk about now?
It's sort of like this issue I've been worrying about in my personal life. You see, I'm actually a mean and spiteful person, and I take it out on my parents because they can't get rid of me. But when I leave home...who will I take things out on? I don't know if I would be able to avoid exploding at everyone.
Without certain people around at our nation's highest levels, I feel that we may run out of people to blame as a country, as well.
But, in both of these situations, it's definitely not a good enough reason to back out.