Feb 09, 2006 13:39
Catherine, your Soul Urge of 1 ...
What You Desire To Be, To Have, and To Do In Your Life
Your soul urge is to be the best at everything that you do. You play to win and when you don't win you suffer a serious crisis of faith. As you believe you are directly connected to a higher power you just can't bear it when you let yourself and others down. It makes you think that there is no God.
One of your greatest challenges is to put your life in perspective. Most ones are born into lives that encourage their personal development and in particular the _expression of their free will. However it is often this sense of entitlement, that the world must always be your oyster that leads to your downfall.
You may see your pride as being evidence of your high self-esteem and confidence. However sometimes your ambition and drive is so extreme that it disgusts and angers others who may perceive you as selfish and controlling. In ancient cultures flaunting your talents and wealth was thought to attract "the evil eye." In your case the evil eye is often others desire to see your pride crushed or watch you take a big fall off your pedestal.
You on the other hand don't understand why others can't see that you are special. Many number ones suffer from a bad case of terminal uniqueness. You love things that are one of a kind and will resort to extreme or even outrageous behavior to prove that you are irreplaceable.
In your universe you are the sun and everything and everybody else rotates around you. Many number ones sabotage their careers in the early stages, as they cannot get past the idea that someone else might know more or be better than them. Ones that feel dominated may resort to overtly rebelling against authority and cause chaos.
Your eagerness to be recognized for your talents sometimes turns you into a braggart. This often incurs the wrath of others, as it seems that you really are concerned with taking care of number one and nobody else. One of your soul lessons might be to recognize that "to rule is truly to serve."
If your talents are not appreciated or recognized by others you may steal the spotlight by creating unnecessary dramas in your life. This is because in your mind even negative attention than no attention at all.
If you feel you are a failure you also risk the temptation of escaping into addiction or fantasy. You may get involved in troubling situations with emotionally disturbed people so that you can feel like the hero by rescuing them.
The conflict that you face is the age-old battle between your will and what fate has to offer. When bad things happen to number ones they tend to give up entirely. This is part of a damaging all or nothing mentality. This type of attitude often puts you in situations that are humiliating as you often persist out of pure stubbornness even though all signs point to eventual failure.
To be successful you need to temper your soul urges with patience and tact. You need to learn to see other people's point of view and let others win an argument once in a while. You are in such a hurry to succeed that you often make hasty decisions that you regret later. Acting on impulse is definitely a hazard for you on your life path. Rather than listen to your ego, listen to you higher self as well.