Memories, like fingerprints are slowly fading
Well, it's been a few days since I have updated. I have tried to do this a few times before, but have either never been able to bring myself to finish, or I accidently erased all that I was working on. The latter really pissed me off, but hey, things happen. It is like the eerie feeling that is present right before a storm. We are oh so close to going back to school. However, we aren't there yet. It is like we are avoiding the inevitable. Sure I have thoroughly enjoyed this summer and seeing everyone. However, at this point, I feel like this is the final act. We have about 2-3 weeks left together. Yeah, I want to make the best of them. However, I want to look forward to college with no remorse. I really am just lost right now. I want to go, but I must sacrifice a lot to do this. It makes me sad that I won't be with everyone next year. However, we'll still have the summers which is good.
It is amazing how our minds recall certain things with memories. All things are signs that spark up a memory in my mind. Everytime I drive past Nathaniel's neighborhood, I remember the oh so many nights of fun that came with playing Halo. Everytime I drive past Scott's house, I remember all the times of playing poker. Those times that mold me into a player that I am today. The experience I gained there was priceless. Everytime I drive past CHAC, I remember the few years of tennis. I remember the first sport that I truly enjoyed playing. Everytime I drive on Cedar, I think of 2 memories. A good night of talking after a soccer game. The other is an unpleasant memory of my inability to reason with emotions and logic. I still think about her sometimes. It is weird because I thought I was done with it. However, 3 months later, I still think about her. It is kind of stupid, because I know it will never happen. However, that doesn't stop me from thinking about her. I think that I am so caught up with her, was because that was the first time that I have ever truly vulnerable with a girl. I put myself on the line. Yeah, it still stings sometimes. However, it was still worth it.
Man, I really just want to get out of here. I have high ambitions for college. The problem with public school is that everyone knows you. I was locked into a certain type of personality long before I got to high school. Everyone knew me as that. I have the opportunity to be whoever I want to be next year. Only a handfull of people out of about 12,000 know who I am and who I was. I am hopefully going to change. I realized something the other day, I hate who I am. I thank you guys for not killing me, because I certainly would have. I have some serious personality problems that I am going to work on. Hopefully, I will be able to mesh better with people at GT than I did with people at CHHS. Anyway, I wish you all the best.
Peace, Love, Empathy
Hinez
It is amazing how our minds recall certain things with memories. All things are signs that spark up a memory in my mind. Everytime I drive past Nathaniel's neighborhood, I remember the oh so many nights of fun that came with playing Halo. Everytime I drive past Scott's house, I remember all the times of playing poker. Those times that mold me into a player that I am today. The experience I gained there was priceless. Everytime I drive past CHAC, I remember the few years of tennis. I remember the first sport that I truly enjoyed playing. Everytime I drive on Cedar, I think of 2 memories. A good night of talking after a soccer game. The other is an unpleasant memory of my inability to reason with emotions and logic. I still think about her sometimes. It is weird because I thought I was done with it. However, 3 months later, I still think about her. It is kind of stupid, because I know it will never happen. However, that doesn't stop me from thinking about her. I think that I am so caught up with her, was because that was the first time that I have ever truly vulnerable with a girl. I put myself on the line. Yeah, it still stings sometimes. However, it was still worth it.
Man, I really just want to get out of here. I have high ambitions for college. The problem with public school is that everyone knows you. I was locked into a certain type of personality long before I got to high school. Everyone knew me as that. I have the opportunity to be whoever I want to be next year. Only a handfull of people out of about 12,000 know who I am and who I was. I am hopefully going to change. I realized something the other day, I hate who I am. I thank you guys for not killing me, because I certainly would have. I have some serious personality problems that I am going to work on. Hopefully, I will be able to mesh better with people at GT than I did with people at CHHS. Anyway, I wish you all the best.
Peace, Love, Empathy
Hinez