Somebody kiss me
I recently noticed how unimportant I am. And realized that that GALLS me. I don't want to be insignifigant.
I want to be some one's world.
I looked at my livejournal, and my old ones...they were always shrines to other people. Debbie, Amy, Sean, Jason, Skwid.
...How often do other people mention me in their blogs or livejournals?
I used to save every email that Skwid or Jason sent me.
I have every picture of Skwid or Jason that I ever took or that that they gave me.
I save their texts and voice messages as long as I can.
...Do other people do this?
Is it normal that, when Skwid's gone, I go to his myspace and look at his userpics so I can see him?
Is he right to tell all his friends that I stalk him? That I'm some slut who follows him around?
Is it okay that he's cruel? Do I ask for it? I try to tell him I don't like the way he treats me but he never changes back into the man I fell in love with.
And Jason says go live with yor boyfriend. My boyfriend? Sometimes he's not even my friend.
And yet...
...I still go through the day...
...missing him...
...wishing he was with me...
...I see something funny, "Oh, I have to tell Skwid."
It's okay for Mouse to do it, and for him to do that for Mouse, and Skittles, and anyone else...
...but I'm a freak if I do it.
I don't get it.
I want to be some one's world.
I looked at my livejournal, and my old ones...they were always shrines to other people. Debbie, Amy, Sean, Jason, Skwid.
...How often do other people mention me in their blogs or livejournals?
I used to save every email that Skwid or Jason sent me.
I have every picture of Skwid or Jason that I ever took or that that they gave me.
I save their texts and voice messages as long as I can.
...Do other people do this?
Is it normal that, when Skwid's gone, I go to his myspace and look at his userpics so I can see him?
Is he right to tell all his friends that I stalk him? That I'm some slut who follows him around?
Is it okay that he's cruel? Do I ask for it? I try to tell him I don't like the way he treats me but he never changes back into the man I fell in love with.
And Jason says go live with yor boyfriend. My boyfriend? Sometimes he's not even my friend.
And yet...
...I still go through the day...
...missing him...
...wishing he was with me...
...I see something funny, "Oh, I have to tell Skwid."
It's okay for Mouse to do it, and for him to do that for Mouse, and Skittles, and anyone else...
...but I'm a freak if I do it.
I don't get it.