Taxes, Deaths, Army, Mess, Poor, Does this come with Vaseline?
Taxes: all messed up, Ohio taxes taken instead of KY all year long by both jobs despite filing proper paperwork, plus I put a higher number than usual on the exemptions and we only got $2300.00 back when usually it's $6000.00
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Death: I'm so sorry. But it sounds like it's too late to make her last years miserable with chemo. Personally, I'd rather find out way too late than early enough to go through the movements, the pain and sickness of treatment, and still die of it. I hope she's in peace.
Army: As much as I understand the draw of this in the financial, the security and run-away sense, I really want you to think about this. We're in the middle of two wars. The chance that you WON'T be sent over seems beyond hoping for. Know full well what you're signing up for and don't believe them when they say you won't be sent, the recruiters always say that. You have to be ok with the thought of your children growing up without you, because you're over there, because you're here but still over there in your head or because you're dead. Can you imagine Lydia's face if we have to tell her her mommy got shot or blown up in a car? Or Eli's face as people tell him stories of the mother he doesn't remember? I know it seems like I'm being harsh and I'm sorry, but this may be the harsh reality and you have to accept that risk with this decision. Also, running from Rob won't fix your marriage, regardless of how strong the urge is to go (trust me, I understand this urge, I've spent the majority of my life in run-mode). It's not like distance will make your relationship stronger, even if you don't go over to the middle east, you will be away a lot. And consider the hardship active duty enlistees are having maintaining custody of their children. There are other means. Please consider this carefully. It may seem like an answer to many problems, but it comes with a heavy price.
Mess: Financial difficulties are the number one cause of divorce, statistically speaking. It's not a fight you are alone in, dieties know, but one that many don't overcome. I wish I had an answer for you, but the only way I know how to make finances work is to have only one person working them. That's probably not applicable in your situation. Keep your chin up, things will turn around eventually.
Poor: Not to sound cruel, but if Rob isn't making money, why is he spending it? Even to pay bills? I love my brother, but paperwork demons follow him (partially through his own lack of focus) and he may not be the best person to handle this.
I'll bring you a bottle of astroglide next time I come down. It lasts longer than vaseline and it sounds like this may take a while. :(
Why don't you come up this weekend? Just to chill out, relax and take a little stress relief? It sounds like you really need a break. I'll cover all costs for your time here, whatever we're doing. If you can front the cash to get here, I'll reimburse you and give an equal amount for the drive home... OR - I have to meet Sandy in Bluffton on Friday and Sunday, I could probably convince her to take on a passenger... Think about it and let me know...
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