swallowing one bulb after another in a city of electric light.
i really can't believe this year is pretty much over. it's been such a blur. for the first part of this year i was working myself up to the daunting possibility of moving here to new york(mentally if not always fiscally). i attempted to adjust to the idea of losing so many things that had been familiar and oftentimes essential to me, be they friendships, family or even just decent mexican food. i miss people and places in LA like you wouldn't believe. sometimes i don't believe it. subsequently, i have spent the last part of it adjusting to the shellshock of being here, so far away from everything i had come to love and rely on. as the new year approaches i've been thinking a lot about what it means to me to be here and what it is i hope to accomplish before next december.
there's this feeling that i have about being here that is hard for me to put into words. i've wanted to be here as long as i can remember. plenty of people feel that way, i'm sure. i wonder if any of us knows exactly why. for me, it partly has to do with the history of this place. all the amazing moments in time this city has been such a big part of in terms of music, fashion and art. being here has made me realize that glorious though they were, they are just that...history. things that have already happened. new york is a different beast now. i will admit to at times myself being plagued by notions that new york is dead. that i have arrived too late. the feeling that nothing that happens now is ever going to equal the glory days of yore.
the flipside of that, though, is the realization that time is delusional. no one realizes history as it's happening. now becomes then the instant it happens. so while those incredible cultural moments are behind new york, there is room every new minute for new things to happen. the future is uncertain, certainly. i've met a lot of people out here already that i feel are going to shape the culture here in a million different ways. we talk about the future a lot. what we're going to have and what we want to do tomorrow. it's occured to me, as it does every so often, that while it's fine and good to desire things you should also be taking stock of what you have. and while it's healthy to have a plan or even just a dream you can't ignore the moment you're living in.
so, my hope for the new year is to be a little more conscious of right now before it's too late. i want to come to the end of next year not having to wonder how it is i could have done better by my plans for this year. i want to accomplish more with the time available to me than i have been of late. i've been here six months. my reasoning that i needed time to adjust to being here is fast reaching its sell-by date. i'm here and i'm here to stay and it's time to figure out what best to do with that reality. i don't regret coming here one bit. it feels right. there's a reason i've always wanted to be here. the city may be the new "hot dead zone" as rolling stone surmised but if everything that's old eventually is new again then i'm positive it won't remain that way for long.
there's this feeling that i have about being here that is hard for me to put into words. i've wanted to be here as long as i can remember. plenty of people feel that way, i'm sure. i wonder if any of us knows exactly why. for me, it partly has to do with the history of this place. all the amazing moments in time this city has been such a big part of in terms of music, fashion and art. being here has made me realize that glorious though they were, they are just that...history. things that have already happened. new york is a different beast now. i will admit to at times myself being plagued by notions that new york is dead. that i have arrived too late. the feeling that nothing that happens now is ever going to equal the glory days of yore.
the flipside of that, though, is the realization that time is delusional. no one realizes history as it's happening. now becomes then the instant it happens. so while those incredible cultural moments are behind new york, there is room every new minute for new things to happen. the future is uncertain, certainly. i've met a lot of people out here already that i feel are going to shape the culture here in a million different ways. we talk about the future a lot. what we're going to have and what we want to do tomorrow. it's occured to me, as it does every so often, that while it's fine and good to desire things you should also be taking stock of what you have. and while it's healthy to have a plan or even just a dream you can't ignore the moment you're living in.
so, my hope for the new year is to be a little more conscious of right now before it's too late. i want to come to the end of next year not having to wonder how it is i could have done better by my plans for this year. i want to accomplish more with the time available to me than i have been of late. i've been here six months. my reasoning that i needed time to adjust to being here is fast reaching its sell-by date. i'm here and i'm here to stay and it's time to figure out what best to do with that reality. i don't regret coming here one bit. it feels right. there's a reason i've always wanted to be here. the city may be the new "hot dead zone" as rolling stone surmised but if everything that's old eventually is new again then i'm positive it won't remain that way for long.