A Do-it-Yourself Recipe from the Orphanage
Erick and Marie: Make your Own Tortillas from scratch.
Step 1: Call your Grandmother. If she asks why you are calling tell her that you love her and that you shouldn't need an excuse to call your grandmother. If you Grandmother is deceased or otherwise incapicitated, I apologize but you shall never make tortillas. This step is mandatory in successfully making tortillas.
Step 2: Add 2 cups of flour, a cup of milk, a half a teaspoon of baking soda, half a teaspoon of oil, and a pinch of salt in a large bowl and knead till dough is smooth and firm.
Step 3: Roll dough into balls (about the size of a matzah ball). Cover with plastic wrap and leave on the counter for 20 minutes.
Step 4: Pull the cold Vodka bottle out of the freezer and sprinkle flour on it. Use the bottle to flatten the balls into thin circles. Get the dough as thin as possible. If you do not have a Vodka bottle, you can use two sheets of plastic wrap, sandwiching the dough ball then flatten with your palms and fingers. If you are a rich bitch and you own a rolling pin, you may use it, however know that your tortillas will be cursed by all poor little orphans.
Step 5: Fry the tortillas in a frying pan, greased lightly with oil. Flip tortillas several times, then remove when you wish. This should not take more than 2 minutes.
Step 6: Place finished tortilla on a paper towel or plate than stack them as you make them so that the newer one keep the older ones warm.
Step 7: Eat tortillas with salsa, beans, cheese, corn, honey, or peanut butter. However you like them.
Step 1: Call your Grandmother. If she asks why you are calling tell her that you love her and that you shouldn't need an excuse to call your grandmother. If you Grandmother is deceased or otherwise incapicitated, I apologize but you shall never make tortillas. This step is mandatory in successfully making tortillas.
Step 2: Add 2 cups of flour, a cup of milk, a half a teaspoon of baking soda, half a teaspoon of oil, and a pinch of salt in a large bowl and knead till dough is smooth and firm.
Step 3: Roll dough into balls (about the size of a matzah ball). Cover with plastic wrap and leave on the counter for 20 minutes.
Step 4: Pull the cold Vodka bottle out of the freezer and sprinkle flour on it. Use the bottle to flatten the balls into thin circles. Get the dough as thin as possible. If you do not have a Vodka bottle, you can use two sheets of plastic wrap, sandwiching the dough ball then flatten with your palms and fingers. If you are a rich bitch and you own a rolling pin, you may use it, however know that your tortillas will be cursed by all poor little orphans.
Step 5: Fry the tortillas in a frying pan, greased lightly with oil. Flip tortillas several times, then remove when you wish. This should not take more than 2 minutes.
Step 6: Place finished tortilla on a paper towel or plate than stack them as you make them so that the newer one keep the older ones warm.
Step 7: Eat tortillas with salsa, beans, cheese, corn, honey, or peanut butter. However you like them.