How Internet Friends are Almost as Good as the Real Thing
-or-
My Failed First Attempt at a Bar Crawl
Elizabeth is a member of an internet forum called “The Shack”. The Shack is basically a poor-man’s SomethingAwful, in that they claim to not “get” SA’s style of humor, but still rip off news articles and catchphrases. Well, apparently a big-shot moderater for the Shack was in NYC for the week and so a bunch of them decided to go drink with him, and I was invited along.
So it was me, Elizabeth, Some guy from Sweden, Asian guy w/ glasses, Asian guy w/out glasses, Pudgy Asian Guy, Kid w/ a Backpack, and the moderator guy who seemed a lot like Josh would be if he double-fisted vodka tonics.
We met up in Alphabet City where we were supposed to go to some diner and then afterwards we were going to get drinks. The diner turned out to be some foo-foo college bar where we almost didn’t get a table (because there were 8 of us) until Elizabeth told the waiter off. Elizabeth and I had already eaten earlier, since I wasn’t too thrilled with the prospect of eating with a group of internet nerds who I didn’t know and thought that if we did that, we would just meet up with them after dinner for drinks. Actually, it just meant that I’d sit around them for an hour nursing a Guinness while everyone except me and Elizabeth ate. There was also a lot of talk about Quake-con.
After dinner, we stood around in the cold for about fifteen minutes while they tried to decide which bar to go to. Kid w/ Backpack claimed that he knew all the good bars and so he led us on a trek through Alphabet City to some bar called “The Library”. This bar was like something out of a Vampire game. Aside from the lamps over the bar itself, the only illumination came from candles on all the tables, and the walls were painted red. There were shelves of books nailed to the walls in certain spots too, which is where the name “The Library” came from, I guess.
The Asians all did Irish car bombs; Swedish drank an Amstel Light; Me, Elizabeth, Bizzaro-Josh, and Backpack Kid all did a shot of tequila; Bizzaro-Josh double-fisted a vodka tonic, I had a Whisky Sour, and Elizabeth had something that tasted really sweet and made me want to vomit when I sipped it. Backpack Kid had a….guinnes I think. I just know it was in a pint glass and they talked him into chugging it.
There was more idle chatter where I kept picking up on SA catchphrases they were using (Ban-Hammer comes to mind) and then Bizzaro Josh broke a glass and we decided to leave.
We stood around outside for another 10 minutes while they tried to figure out where to go next. Glasses actually pulled out a cheat sheet of bars in Alphabet City, which I thought was hilarious. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but Swedish used the phrase “I told you I was hardcore!” which made me fall head over heels for him.
Somehow, Backpack Kid got put in charge of finding the next bar. Elizabeth mentioned that since she had work today, she’d have to leave early and so if we could just start working our way towards the subway it’d be cool. THAT somehow led to the clusterfuck of Backpack Kid leading us all across Alphabet City and Soho, claiming he “Knew a good bar” that was “right next to the subway”. We passed like a million other bars too, until we ended up at Astor Place. Some random goth girl stopped us in front of Tower Records when she heard us discussing bars and told us that the only bars she knew of that were in the direction Backpack Kid was leading us were gay bars, and that if we were looking for actual good bars, we should “Check out Alphabet City a few blocks over.”
Yes, the Alphabet City we just came from.
Somehow Elizabeth got blamed for it, since she requested we head towards the subway. We wandered over to St. Marks where we passed another few bars until Elizabeth was finally like “I have to go home and go to bed for work, we are stopping at the next bar”. The next bar turned out to be some seedy Irish Pub with a large black man checking IDs at the door. Everyone except Elizabeth and I took a shot of tequila. Elizabeth and I only stayed long enough to be social before we left.
I was sober by the time we got to the subway. All in all it was a decent night.
Oh, and Elizabeth forgot her credit card at The Library. I have to go back there today before she’s off work to get it for her.
My Failed First Attempt at a Bar Crawl
Elizabeth is a member of an internet forum called “The Shack”. The Shack is basically a poor-man’s SomethingAwful, in that they claim to not “get” SA’s style of humor, but still rip off news articles and catchphrases. Well, apparently a big-shot moderater for the Shack was in NYC for the week and so a bunch of them decided to go drink with him, and I was invited along.
So it was me, Elizabeth, Some guy from Sweden, Asian guy w/ glasses, Asian guy w/out glasses, Pudgy Asian Guy, Kid w/ a Backpack, and the moderator guy who seemed a lot like Josh would be if he double-fisted vodka tonics.
We met up in Alphabet City where we were supposed to go to some diner and then afterwards we were going to get drinks. The diner turned out to be some foo-foo college bar where we almost didn’t get a table (because there were 8 of us) until Elizabeth told the waiter off. Elizabeth and I had already eaten earlier, since I wasn’t too thrilled with the prospect of eating with a group of internet nerds who I didn’t know and thought that if we did that, we would just meet up with them after dinner for drinks. Actually, it just meant that I’d sit around them for an hour nursing a Guinness while everyone except me and Elizabeth ate. There was also a lot of talk about Quake-con.
After dinner, we stood around in the cold for about fifteen minutes while they tried to decide which bar to go to. Kid w/ Backpack claimed that he knew all the good bars and so he led us on a trek through Alphabet City to some bar called “The Library”. This bar was like something out of a Vampire game. Aside from the lamps over the bar itself, the only illumination came from candles on all the tables, and the walls were painted red. There were shelves of books nailed to the walls in certain spots too, which is where the name “The Library” came from, I guess.
The Asians all did Irish car bombs; Swedish drank an Amstel Light; Me, Elizabeth, Bizzaro-Josh, and Backpack Kid all did a shot of tequila; Bizzaro-Josh double-fisted a vodka tonic, I had a Whisky Sour, and Elizabeth had something that tasted really sweet and made me want to vomit when I sipped it. Backpack Kid had a….guinnes I think. I just know it was in a pint glass and they talked him into chugging it.
There was more idle chatter where I kept picking up on SA catchphrases they were using (Ban-Hammer comes to mind) and then Bizzaro Josh broke a glass and we decided to leave.
We stood around outside for another 10 minutes while they tried to figure out where to go next. Glasses actually pulled out a cheat sheet of bars in Alphabet City, which I thought was hilarious. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but Swedish used the phrase “I told you I was hardcore!” which made me fall head over heels for him.
Somehow, Backpack Kid got put in charge of finding the next bar. Elizabeth mentioned that since she had work today, she’d have to leave early and so if we could just start working our way towards the subway it’d be cool. THAT somehow led to the clusterfuck of Backpack Kid leading us all across Alphabet City and Soho, claiming he “Knew a good bar” that was “right next to the subway”. We passed like a million other bars too, until we ended up at Astor Place. Some random goth girl stopped us in front of Tower Records when she heard us discussing bars and told us that the only bars she knew of that were in the direction Backpack Kid was leading us were gay bars, and that if we were looking for actual good bars, we should “Check out Alphabet City a few blocks over.”
Yes, the Alphabet City we just came from.
Somehow Elizabeth got blamed for it, since she requested we head towards the subway. We wandered over to St. Marks where we passed another few bars until Elizabeth was finally like “I have to go home and go to bed for work, we are stopping at the next bar”. The next bar turned out to be some seedy Irish Pub with a large black man checking IDs at the door. Everyone except Elizabeth and I took a shot of tequila. Elizabeth and I only stayed long enough to be social before we left.
I was sober by the time we got to the subway. All in all it was a decent night.
Oh, and Elizabeth forgot her credit card at The Library. I have to go back there today before she’s off work to get it for her.