FRICKEN HALARIOUS JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde
jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days
later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped
her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly
creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many
sheep you have, can I take one?"
The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course."
The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason
said, "352."
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably,
totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to
my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally
picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of
the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K.,
now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair
color, can I have my dog back?"
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was a blonde that went to the hair salon with headphones. Before the barber started cutting her hair she told him "Make sure not to knock the headphones off my head". So the barber was sure not to. The next time, the blonde said the same thing "Do not knock the headphones off my head". The barber again, did what he was told. The third time she went, she told the barber again "Don't knock the headphones off my head", this time though, the barber accidentally knocked them off. As soon as the headphones fell off, the blonde dropped to the floor unconcious. The barber picked up the headphones and listened. He heard a looped recording which said: "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...."
AHHAHAHAHHAHA OMG IM GONNA DIE LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!
A blonde woman was tired of people calling her names and teasing her because of the colour of her hair, so she decided to kill herself. She found some rope and went to the park. She tied one end of the rope to a branch of a tree, climbed the tree and then tied the other end of the rope to her neck.
"Good bye, cruel world," and with that, she slid of the branch.
A couple of hours later, a man was walking in the park, when he noticed a blonde hanging from the tree, but the rope was now round her waiste.
"What are you doing?" the man asked in surprise.
"Im killing myself because the world is an evil place." she said with a tear in her eye.
"Well, isn't the rope supposed to be round your neck if your commiting sucide?" he said.
"Oh yes, but i tried that and couldn't breathe!"
HAHAHHA OMG THESE ARE FRICKEN HALARIOUS
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, 'The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.' The Frenchman says, 'I take ze poison.' The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, 'Vive la France!' and drinks it down. The Englishman says, 'A pistol for me, please.' The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, 'God save the queen!' and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, 'Gimme a fork.' The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over-the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, 'What are you doing???' The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, 'So much for your canoe, ass hole!'
OMG MY SIDES HURT
WEll im done i hope u laughed ur ass off
jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days
later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped
her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly
creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many
sheep you have, can I take one?"
The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course."
The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason
said, "352."
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably,
totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to
my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally
picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of
the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K.,
now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair
color, can I have my dog back?"
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was a blonde that went to the hair salon with headphones. Before the barber started cutting her hair she told him "Make sure not to knock the headphones off my head". So the barber was sure not to. The next time, the blonde said the same thing "Do not knock the headphones off my head". The barber again, did what he was told. The third time she went, she told the barber again "Don't knock the headphones off my head", this time though, the barber accidentally knocked them off. As soon as the headphones fell off, the blonde dropped to the floor unconcious. The barber picked up the headphones and listened. He heard a looped recording which said: "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...."
AHHAHAHAHHAHA OMG IM GONNA DIE LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!
A blonde woman was tired of people calling her names and teasing her because of the colour of her hair, so she decided to kill herself. She found some rope and went to the park. She tied one end of the rope to a branch of a tree, climbed the tree and then tied the other end of the rope to her neck.
"Good bye, cruel world," and with that, she slid of the branch.
A couple of hours later, a man was walking in the park, when he noticed a blonde hanging from the tree, but the rope was now round her waiste.
"What are you doing?" the man asked in surprise.
"Im killing myself because the world is an evil place." she said with a tear in her eye.
"Well, isn't the rope supposed to be round your neck if your commiting sucide?" he said.
"Oh yes, but i tried that and couldn't breathe!"
HAHAHHA OMG THESE ARE FRICKEN HALARIOUS
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, 'The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.' The Frenchman says, 'I take ze poison.' The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, 'Vive la France!' and drinks it down. The Englishman says, 'A pistol for me, please.' The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, 'God save the queen!' and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, 'Gimme a fork.' The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over-the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, 'What are you doing???' The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, 'So much for your canoe, ass hole!'
OMG MY SIDES HURT
WEll im done i hope u laughed ur ass off