Keys.....
Not too long ago, I believed that liberty is a state of mind. At this present moment, I believe liberty can only be truly ‘felt’ when the mind has been mastered; when we are masters of our minds.
My mind no longer controls me. It no longer dictates what I do, how I react, how I behave. This mastering of my mind did not come easy, yet the irony is, it was so easily accessible. I simply did not access it. I did not know this one simple practice would bring me everything. Would give me liberation for my self.
I knew, and I spoke what I knew. But I wasn’t living what I knew. For years I did this. I tried, but I kept faltering. My mind took me places I didn’t want to go. As a result, I did things I regretted. I continued to negotiate with life, each time life seemed to have an upper hand at the outcome. Still I spoke what I knew.
As time went on, I gained knowledge, but I didn’t know how to use it as I lacked wisdom. I was holding the keys in my
hands but I didn’t know how to use them. At the end, I found myself holding rusty keys that were starting to look and feel like nails instead. It frustrated me even more, for now I knew, but I still couldn’t. Still I continued to speak
I once read a line on an acquaintance’s facebook, which said; ‘I will not be inspired by darkness.’ I found it amusing as it is precisely a dark phase in her life that has brought her to the bright light encircling her. So I know I am exactly unlike her, I’d say: ‘I shall be inspired by everything, including darkness,’ There is a great comfort and joy, as a revelation about ourselves usually follows a phase of darkness in our lives. Even in darkness there is beauty, a stranger said this to me. Once again, it is up to my mind to decide how I deal with things and feelings of this nature. My mind.
I was desperate to master my mind. I knew that my life suffered because I had fallen prey to my own mind. When I finally did master my mind, (I would like to think that I did at least the foundational part and am still learning the mastery of it all) my world changed incredibly. It was that simple, yet it took me what felt like forever to achieve. I now live what I understood and spoke for so long. FINALLY. I am free from my mind. And I only managed to do this when I silenced my mind through emptying it. No other method worked for me.
The ultimate shift happened when I became ‘aware’ of my mind and its character. I was in control of my actions as a result of my thoughts. Everything became clear to me when I understood that my mind was not me. My mind is made of thoughts. There were days when it felt like a battle was taking in place, other days, a speed chase at 150KM per hour. Obsessive thinking, dreaming about the future while thinking about the past, reliving old grieves, fears and failures. My mind did all this to me and I followed. HELD CAPTIVE. To answer the above mentioned quote I would have said - because I am not in prison (1), because I didn’t know how to step out (2) because the keys I held to let myself out wasn’t working (3). Ultimately ’4′ happened when I seized control of my mind after years of reading, aloneness and seeking within. It happened through letting go, finding them and discarding them out; good or bad, good and bad. To be in a Tabula Rasa state, EVERYDAY. I understood my mind best when my mind was silenced, empty and blank.
I finally comprehended this without my thinking, without rationalising things. I realised I could read a library and still not be where I want to be because I finally understood that knowledge is mostly mind based, but freedom is something that resides on a plane inaccessible by the mind. One simply has wings to choose carefully, to be aware, and to have insight. Everyday since I live my life with this in mind. I remind myself that the health of my mind is in my hands and it is detrimental to my well being, as it totally dictates the world I live in. It has liberated me from my self. All the barriers that my mind had set me up against, that I had been caught up in, was lifted. The veil was lifted. I experience things for what it is and people for who they are. I gained clarity and I was no longer fooled by frivolous shallow thinking that hindered me from experiencing things and people. A deep insight was offered to me. Instinct, intuition, I have all this in abundance. As I gained mastery over my mind, I found peace within my self. I was set free from my own self. I stepped out of the cage that was my mind.
And I became free.
Free from everything, everyone;
Free from fear, guilt.
Free from the past and the future.
Free from all.
A land of vast beauty and peace stands before me,
because within, I feel vast and am at peace.
I bow my head in gratitude everyday, for I have found my dear self. I have finally met her.
And I love her in abundance.
MM
"...they may forget what you said;
but they will never forget how you made them feel...."