a long way from paradiso...
Daydreamer, sittin’ on the seat
Soaking up the sun he is a
Real lover, makin’ up the past
and feeling up his girl
like he’s never felt her figure before
some people are so different. so unique. so strange. very other-worldly. and they make you think. dream. imagine. change. they give you pause and they make you walk differently. they give you an excuse to reflect yourself against the mirror and just question, question, question. it's a moment that will make you realise how fucking mundane you are. normal. plain. lost. a faceless face in the crowd. unwilling to stand out. and unnoticable. and it'll be a moment that makes take a step back. and sigh. and sigh. and sigh.
A jaw dropper
Looks good when he
when he walks,
he is the subject of their talk
He would be hard to chase,
but good to catch and he could change the world
with his hands behind his back.
somedays i realise just how... weak i am. how vulnerable. how stupid. like a man laying naked in the glaring sun. slowly turning red and hurting. it's a slow burn. but it's burnin nonetheless. and i don't notice it. not because i am a fool. but because i try so bloody hard to fit in and be a part of a whole. and in the process, a part of me is destroyed. the part that wants to be heard, to change the world. the part of me that is challenging the prosaic and overcoming the tide of lines drawn. i tore that picture. and crushed it up. tossed it away. and i realise i've become weak. and vulnerable. just like everyone else.
You can find him sittin’ on your doorstep
Waiting for the surprise
It will feel like he’s been there for hours
And you can tell that he’ll be there for life
i want to tell you that i miss you. that i love you. and that noone else matters. noone else ever did. i want to scream at the universe and ask for it to be a bit more fair. that there must be some sort of compromise we can come to. that this cannot be. this cannot last. that someday we'll all wake up and find that there's no more reason to hurt ourselves. to make ourselves feel and less than we are. i want to show you that i am as lost as you are, and tell you that you are not alone. not. one. bit. you've got me. i'll be right here. waiting for your return. and just... hoping it'll be tomorrow. or in the next hour. the next minute. whatever. whenever. i want to promise you. i do. i really do.
Daydreamer, with eyes that make you melt
He lends his coat for shelter
because he’s there for you
when he shouldn’t be
there are times when i want to tear off my clothes and just go mad. just go hysterical. wail. jump. stamp my foot. act like i no longer care for anything. anything but you. but i fear. i fear that would make me stand out too much. and i take a deep breath. force my hands beside myself and shut up. and times like that, i can feel my nails digging into flesh. and i clench my teeth so hard i can taste blood. but worst pain of all, is the breaking of my heart. shattered behind a ten foot wall. thick. opaque. impenetrable.
But he stays all the same,
waits for you and then sees you through
There’s no way I could describe him
All I say is, just what I’m hoping for
there's a door. that can be opened. or can remain close. and this door. it's a quiet thing. sitting in the middle of a giant stage. and everyone's just staring at it. and waiting. they wait for the people who come on and go off to do something. open it, they say. open it, they hope. open it, they pray. but none do. and everyone's a little disappointed. but secretly relieved. because you never know what's behind it. and most of us, just don't want too many open doors. they mean too much. we need to keep some of them closed, they cry. it's protection. it's comfort. it's protection. there's a door. and it remains closed. there's how it is. and that's how it should be.
But I will find him sittin’ on my doorstep
Waiting for the surprise
It will feel like he’s been there for hours
And I can tell he’ll be there for life
some people are so different that you cannot help but stare and stare and stare. and like an avant garde in the middle of the classical, they hold your eyes. and make you feel something. you. you are that different. you are that special. that unique. and i'm so sorry i let you feel like you are one of a whole because you are not. you are beyond us. and i wish i could tell you that.
you'll laugh. and think it's a joke. and i will love your laughter, as i always have. and i might even laugh with you. just like that, we will spend our time together. laughing at nothing. but laughing all the same. not realising how much of a bloody hilarious joke it truly is.
But I will find him sittin’ on my doorstep
Waiting for the surprise
It will feel like he’s been there for hours
And I can tell he’ll be there for life
- "Daydreamer", Adele
but then i'll let go again. and like that daydreamer, i will sit down. slowly. moving at such a slow speed. it'll take forever. like a verse that just will not end. will not finish. will not move on. and that door: that big, big door. large enough to encapsulate the grand stage; will stay in the direct view of everyone.
and will somehow, without anyone really comprehending why, remain closed for a little while longer.
DuaGu
"If I die before I wake..."