So this is the new year.
This morning I woke up at 6:30 (pacific time) with a very helpful five-year-old leaning over me, telling me that my light wasn't on and he wanted to press the button for me. This is not where I thought I would be a year ago.
Let's review 2012, briefly:
- Started out: married, living in New Carrollton, recently laid off, about halfway through rehabbing from knee surgery.
- Moved from DC burbs to an amazing apartment in Baltimore
- Face exploded: two root canals, both bottom wisdom teeth out
- Started rock climbing
- Got a new job
- Husband finished grad school
- Got a new boss and job description
- Applied for, got into, and started graduate school
- Husband got a new job
- Marriage fell apart
- Moved to the west coast
So. That was a year. Lots of difficult. Lots of good. Too much sad. Not at all the year I expected.
I can say with certainty this one will be different. The last several years I have asked and hoped out loud (and here) that the next one would be less eventful, more stable, easier. Ha. That particular prayer just keeps going unanswered. Not even looking that direction this year and it feels surprisingly good.
This one is going to be hard. I feel pretty confident making that prediction from where I stand. Difficult and eventful: next new years will look very different from this one. Not a complaint, a recognition: I have a lot to do now. It's important stuff. I think it's also going to be good, but I'm not looking for easy.
I'm taking some time to feel lucky, to be excited about the opportunities in front of me. Very few adults get to start over like this, even fewer get to do it so comfortably. I get a clean slate and a soft landing. I'm not taking either for granted.
Starting fresh is something we do as teenagers or barely more, when we don't know very much about who we are or what we want. We flail around and things happen and that turns into a life, then we fine-tune and adjust as we learn about what works and doesn't. Most of the time when there's big change in one area, the rest stays pretty solid. And that's usually good, a support through tough times. I'm going the other way. Cutting most of the ties, losing most of the support, and adrift with an unusual and uncomfortable amount of freedom to create a new life for myself.
So here I am.
Unemployed again.
Living in my Aunt Linda's attic in northeast Portland.
156 pounds.
Single. Separated, intending to be divorced.
Knee entirely operational, health mostly good.
Hopeful.
There's more to say about all of those things, but it's a decent snapshot to start with.
Let's review 2012, briefly:
- Started out: married, living in New Carrollton, recently laid off, about halfway through rehabbing from knee surgery.
- Moved from DC burbs to an amazing apartment in Baltimore
- Face exploded: two root canals, both bottom wisdom teeth out
- Started rock climbing
- Got a new job
- Husband finished grad school
- Got a new boss and job description
- Applied for, got into, and started graduate school
- Husband got a new job
- Marriage fell apart
- Moved to the west coast
So. That was a year. Lots of difficult. Lots of good. Too much sad. Not at all the year I expected.
I can say with certainty this one will be different. The last several years I have asked and hoped out loud (and here) that the next one would be less eventful, more stable, easier. Ha. That particular prayer just keeps going unanswered. Not even looking that direction this year and it feels surprisingly good.
This one is going to be hard. I feel pretty confident making that prediction from where I stand. Difficult and eventful: next new years will look very different from this one. Not a complaint, a recognition: I have a lot to do now. It's important stuff. I think it's also going to be good, but I'm not looking for easy.
I'm taking some time to feel lucky, to be excited about the opportunities in front of me. Very few adults get to start over like this, even fewer get to do it so comfortably. I get a clean slate and a soft landing. I'm not taking either for granted.
Starting fresh is something we do as teenagers or barely more, when we don't know very much about who we are or what we want. We flail around and things happen and that turns into a life, then we fine-tune and adjust as we learn about what works and doesn't. Most of the time when there's big change in one area, the rest stays pretty solid. And that's usually good, a support through tough times. I'm going the other way. Cutting most of the ties, losing most of the support, and adrift with an unusual and uncomfortable amount of freedom to create a new life for myself.
So here I am.
Unemployed again.
Living in my Aunt Linda's attic in northeast Portland.
156 pounds.
Single. Separated, intending to be divorced.
Knee entirely operational, health mostly good.
Hopeful.
There's more to say about all of those things, but it's a decent snapshot to start with.