the road just rolls out behind me
I know this is going to feel fast. I knew this was going to feel fast. Still not prepared for quite how fast. Phone is ringing off the hook a little. People want to know what now and what next. It's good. I'm profoundly lucky to have so much support. But I'm wondering those things too.
I gave notice at my job on Friday. I don't know when my last day will be, we're going to work out the details Monday. They know I won't be back after the holidays.
Plane tickets were secured over the weekend. They may turn out to be placeholders if schedule-things change, but I've put down a deposit with Southwest, at least. And they may very well stick. Certainly I wasn't going to get cheaper ones by waiting.
As it stands I'm flying out of Baltimore the evening of Sunday the 23rd.
Started packing this weekend. Stopped pretty quickly, because it's emotional, and because I have a bunch of homework that has to be done much earlier than the packing.
It's an impressive combination of feelings. I am so sad and so excited. So overwhelmed and so confident. So nostalgic and so ready for change. People keep asking how I am, and it's a terrible question. I'm acutely alive. I don't know what else.
I'm also secure that I'm making good choices. I know this isn't necessarily the most prudent or reasonable course of action, it wouldn't be the right thing for a lot of people. But it's what I need and what I want. Sometimes I lose sight of that, and feel like I'm just reacting, but that's not at all the thing. This will be one of the big turning points in my life. I don't know if I'll ever look back on it as an entirely positive thing, but I know I won't remember it as a time I sat by and let life happen to me. This is all fast, but the distinction is important. I'm happening fast.
I gave notice at my job on Friday. I don't know when my last day will be, we're going to work out the details Monday. They know I won't be back after the holidays.
Plane tickets were secured over the weekend. They may turn out to be placeholders if schedule-things change, but I've put down a deposit with Southwest, at least. And they may very well stick. Certainly I wasn't going to get cheaper ones by waiting.
As it stands I'm flying out of Baltimore the evening of Sunday the 23rd.
Started packing this weekend. Stopped pretty quickly, because it's emotional, and because I have a bunch of homework that has to be done much earlier than the packing.
It's an impressive combination of feelings. I am so sad and so excited. So overwhelmed and so confident. So nostalgic and so ready for change. People keep asking how I am, and it's a terrible question. I'm acutely alive. I don't know what else.
I'm also secure that I'm making good choices. I know this isn't necessarily the most prudent or reasonable course of action, it wouldn't be the right thing for a lot of people. But it's what I need and what I want. Sometimes I lose sight of that, and feel like I'm just reacting, but that's not at all the thing. This will be one of the big turning points in my life. I don't know if I'll ever look back on it as an entirely positive thing, but I know I won't remember it as a time I sat by and let life happen to me. This is all fast, but the distinction is important. I'm happening fast.