Dodging Death at Dave's Day 1
Sunday July 31, 2011
The sunny weather and warm air inspired me to ride my bike to Dave's to check on the spawn of satan and orange cat. It is only 3 miles so it took me about 15 minutes or so. When I arrived, grab the mail and head up. Inside I am greeted by orange cat, satan cat is not to be seen, however I have my guard up. I greet orange cat with a scritch on the head and check on water and food. As I am filling up the water bowl I hear the hoarse meow of satan cat and look towards the stairs...there he is peering at me from the corner of the stair. I say hello and he saunters down the stairs meowing. As I try to put the dish down he dances around where I am trying to place it....as I shoo him out of the way he jumps up onto the food bins and I am able to put the dish down...this of course leaves me open to satan cat...who decides to stand up and head butt me as I bend to put the dish down.
Cat 1 Mike 0
I recover quickly to this first strike and get out of reach for his second. I laugh as he falls into the water dish...this was a bad thing to do. The twirling dance of death starts as I try to walk towards the living room. Orange cat jumps lazily up onto the coffee table and I reward her with a scritch on behind the ears. This of course...was a mistake. Satan cat was going in for another shot while my back was turned. As his deceptively cut and fuzzy ears hit the back of my knee I jumped, startling him which caused one of his claws to latch onto my shorts...then through them into my leg. There was yelling and meowing and satan cat took to the stairs.
Cat 2 Mike 0
I check my grievous wound and decide I will live. I steal a diet coke from the fridge and sit down at the dining room table. I watch for satan cat and decide orange cat is being cute and needy looking so I put down my coke on the table and reach down to scratch her....which I see now has been her plan all along to make me vulnerable. As I reach down to pet orange cat, satan cat jumps on the table and naturally hits my soda...which falls to the ground. Oddly enough it lands perfectly flat on its base and doesn't spill. I revel in my accidental victory against satan cat for a brief second, until the soda (which was mostly full) foams up and over flows the can. I bend down to grab the can and proceed to wipe the soda up (I had a paper towel in hand because I was sweaty from bike ride) as I do so satan cat decides now is the perfect chance and walks off the table onto my back and head butts me at the base of my skull. Luckly for me I have a thick skull. I slowly stand up, thinking this will persuade satan cat to jump off. Not so much. I don't think my back is bleeding...but it was stingy.
Cat 3 Mike 0
I survived...but it is only day 1.
gods help me.
The sunny weather and warm air inspired me to ride my bike to Dave's to check on the spawn of satan and orange cat. It is only 3 miles so it took me about 15 minutes or so. When I arrived, grab the mail and head up. Inside I am greeted by orange cat, satan cat is not to be seen, however I have my guard up. I greet orange cat with a scritch on the head and check on water and food. As I am filling up the water bowl I hear the hoarse meow of satan cat and look towards the stairs...there he is peering at me from the corner of the stair. I say hello and he saunters down the stairs meowing. As I try to put the dish down he dances around where I am trying to place it....as I shoo him out of the way he jumps up onto the food bins and I am able to put the dish down...this of course leaves me open to satan cat...who decides to stand up and head butt me as I bend to put the dish down.
Cat 1 Mike 0
I recover quickly to this first strike and get out of reach for his second. I laugh as he falls into the water dish...this was a bad thing to do. The twirling dance of death starts as I try to walk towards the living room. Orange cat jumps lazily up onto the coffee table and I reward her with a scritch on behind the ears. This of course...was a mistake. Satan cat was going in for another shot while my back was turned. As his deceptively cut and fuzzy ears hit the back of my knee I jumped, startling him which caused one of his claws to latch onto my shorts...then through them into my leg. There was yelling and meowing and satan cat took to the stairs.
Cat 2 Mike 0
I check my grievous wound and decide I will live. I steal a diet coke from the fridge and sit down at the dining room table. I watch for satan cat and decide orange cat is being cute and needy looking so I put down my coke on the table and reach down to scratch her....which I see now has been her plan all along to make me vulnerable. As I reach down to pet orange cat, satan cat jumps on the table and naturally hits my soda...which falls to the ground. Oddly enough it lands perfectly flat on its base and doesn't spill. I revel in my accidental victory against satan cat for a brief second, until the soda (which was mostly full) foams up and over flows the can. I bend down to grab the can and proceed to wipe the soda up (I had a paper towel in hand because I was sweaty from bike ride) as I do so satan cat decides now is the perfect chance and walks off the table onto my back and head butts me at the base of my skull. Luckly for me I have a thick skull. I slowly stand up, thinking this will persuade satan cat to jump off. Not so much. I don't think my back is bleeding...but it was stingy.
Cat 3 Mike 0
I survived...but it is only day 1.
gods help me.