dear diary......i really am the lone wolf that is on my arm.............
i have realized over the years that i am basicially a pretty friendly guy, and don't have trouble making friends. keeping them is something different. i am not very trusting by nature, and that is something that i have tried to overcome, but don't believe i ever will. i don't fit in anywhere. i am not the athlete i was in school, not the gungho jarhead of my younger days. things don't pan out and i try to make friends with different crowds, but i just don't seem to fit. i am the preverbial square peg in a round hold. there is only one person that i completely trust and that is my best friend. as you know we have known each other for almost our entire lives. we grew up together, and we both went into the corps together, he decided to go to college, and i obviously am not the "college" type. talking about not fitting in. i do find solace in freemasonry, and altough we share someone very special, i don't really fit in to wel there either. most of these men were in wwII, and it is hard to fit in when your peers are all old enough to be your grandfather. this year as commander of my knight templar commandry has been so rewarding and my hear is almost half up. our meeting tonight was top shelf. we actually made time to go over some of our drill requirements for competition. i am really looking forward to taking over command of the metro drill team when my tenure as commander is up in march.
i said a few things the other day, and i was a bit harsh with what i had to say. i really don't like people to make a fuss over my birthday, and generally am very embarrased about receiving girts even from my closest family. funny that way i guess. however i really believer that it shows what this country has come to when nobody realizes it is veterans day. for a person to give 4 or six year or more to the service of this country, and most don't realize what type of sacrifice it is. i guess that is one of the main reasons i hate my birthday is that it falls on this particular holiday. only way to make it worse would be for it to be on memorial day. i would just as soon not get out of bed that day at all, or not go to work and stay drunk all day. hard to do now that i don't drink like i used to, which is really a good thing. i think a girl from work is going to come over this weekend and we are going to chocolate coat some gummi bears. i found them at d*c this year at the coffee shop of horrors....they are called scare bears, and once you get over the funky taste they are like chocolate crack. ii am going to keep this private for a bit, and not allow responses and kinda keep this a real journal and not a social outlet. nighters
i said a few things the other day, and i was a bit harsh with what i had to say. i really don't like people to make a fuss over my birthday, and generally am very embarrased about receiving girts even from my closest family. funny that way i guess. however i really believer that it shows what this country has come to when nobody realizes it is veterans day. for a person to give 4 or six year or more to the service of this country, and most don't realize what type of sacrifice it is. i guess that is one of the main reasons i hate my birthday is that it falls on this particular holiday. only way to make it worse would be for it to be on memorial day. i would just as soon not get out of bed that day at all, or not go to work and stay drunk all day. hard to do now that i don't drink like i used to, which is really a good thing. i think a girl from work is going to come over this weekend and we are going to chocolate coat some gummi bears. i found them at d*c this year at the coffee shop of horrors....they are called scare bears, and once you get over the funky taste they are like chocolate crack. ii am going to keep this private for a bit, and not allow responses and kinda keep this a real journal and not a social outlet. nighters