Booze - What's behind it and what might be beyond it
I don't think that Don's problem is his drinking.
His drinking is a result of something deeper that's going on with him. I also don't think that his behavior is entirely due to his drinking, though it certainly would lower his inhibitions a great deal and contribute to his behavior.
If anything, Don's drinking is a form of self-medicating.
The "something deeper" that's going on, I think, started with was what he was made to believe about himself (being a bastard child of a whore) and what that was supposed to mean.
Everything he has done since, has arisen out of that - and his resistance to it.
Going to A.A. might help him address his drinking, but I think he will find the ultimate solution about his "something deeper," in a favorite quote of mine: "Obviously the truth is 'what's so'. Not so obviously, it's also 'so what?'."
Once he fully "gets" that, it will free him of his "demons" and he'll be fine.
The crux of Don's (Dick's) situation is that he's attempting to "live up to" (or in his case, "down to") his story - that is, the story he has been told about himself. Growing up, I'm sure that Archie and Abigail reminded him constantly of how wretched and worthless he was. It's no surprise that his escape entailed taking on an entirely new identity!
What I think Don desperately needs to discover is that we are not "our stories" - not the story that is told to us by others about ourselves, or the stories we tell about ourselves to ourselves and to others.
That is the trap Don is in.
And what an irony! In his work and personally, he is a master story-teller.
It's a liberating and healing thing when a person gets fully past the dynamic of "being their story".
Looking way ahead in the show, I think his ultimate salvation will come when he stops being a master story-teller. It will probably end his advertising career, but he'll get his life back in achieving, for the first time, a level of self-actualization.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory describes it as the final level of psychological development, which comes about when all basic and mental needs are fulfilled and the "actualization" of the full personal potential takes place.
In that way, Don will finally be able to be who he really is and not be just a flawed actor in a sad story he's been told about himself or the sick story he's living and has been telling himself and exhibiting to those around him.
That might mean he'll leave the ad biz and if the show plays out this way, it will be fascinating to watch and to see how/where he ends up.
I think that once that kind of shattering realization occurs, one just can't go on the way they have been going. Such a higher and deeper insight and knowledge about oneself, brings with it, massive and radical change.
It wouldn't surprise me at all if he becomes a guru in one of the many motivational/self-improvement/self-awareness groups that were big in the early 1970s. After all, he's said that he doesn't "sell advertising," he "sells products". And in the Me Generation of the 70s, there wasn't a bigger product line to be sold than the notion that people weren't "all that they could be" - but for a price, we can show you how you can be that.
My knowledge of Maslow and psychology is minimal, but I have a few good insights about people.
I've never been particularly good at predicting what'll happen on Mad Men, so I mostly try to just enjoy the Hell out of the show. We're pretty far along in the process of exploring the question of just who this guy, Don/Dick, is and it's a fascinating journey!
I love the care that goes into Mad Men and how consistently well crafted the show is. It is character-driven, but with storylines that ring true for me on so many levels. There's the show's setting, in an advertising agency and it's set in the 1960s. The field and the era are compelling. If it were merely a show about that, there would still be much to recommend it, but Matt Weiner weaves amazing drama into each episode and he does it artfully. But it's not just that and it's not just Matt. Something I've never done is catch anyone in the cast acting. The portrayals and the writing are so evolved that possibility and plausibility are a given, for the viewer. I care who these people are and what's going on with them.
It is out of this that I have focused on what's been going on with Don/Dick.
As corny as it might sound, I relate to him. He is flawed, but he is equally heroic. His story is the story of the human quest for identity and meaning. It's universal. Everyone on the show (and on the planet) wrestles with these issues, or will. And who can't relate to that?
I want Don/Dick to succeed! I want him to create a space in which he can be his highest and most authentic self. It's a tall order and so far, he seems to not be too successful in that noble enterprise. I'd even go so far as to say that he's been trying to do it through a process of elimination, though he having trouble mastering that part where you stop doing the stuff that's not really working for you.
Perhaps Season Four will bring him to a place where he'll do better at that. The season will focus on the notion of Identity, hopefully with him beginning to come to grips with the lofty and metaphysical question: Who am I?
Maybe Ken Cosgrove was on the right track about it, with that watch a client gave him: What time isn't it?
Don would do well to ask himself: Who aren't I?
He stands to learn a lot with some honest responses to that.
Successfully answering the question: "Who am I?" can't help but move him closer to fulfilling some of those mental and fundamental needs that Maslow spoke of.
• Esteem
• Love and belonging
• Safety needs
• Physiological needs
and ultimately
• Self-actualization
He sure could use all the Esteem he can get. Same goes for Love and Belonging. Safety isn't something that I'd say he's got an abundance of right now. He's okay as far as Breathing, Food, Homeostasis and Sex are concerned, but what's the point of having those when those other areas are so lacking? Achieving and enhancing the first three areas would serve to bring the Physiological needs into a better and more positive context.
Can he do it, and will he? We shall see. I'm rooting for him!
To me, another favorite quote is applicable here: "You and I want our lives to matter. We want our lives to make a real difference - to be of genuine consequence in the world. We know that there is no satisfaction in merely going through the motions, even if those motions make us successful, or even if we have arranged to make those motions pleasant. We want to know we have made some impact on the world. In fact, you and I want to contribute to the quality of life. We want to make the world work."
I want Don/Dick's world to work.
[This post is comprised of some comments I posted about a month ago, in a thread on the awesome Basket Of Kisses blog, run by Deborah and Roberta Lipp (or, as I call 'em) The Fabulous Lipp Sisters.]
Here's the link to their great site. If you've never been there, do check it out. I think it's the definitive Mad Men blog!
http://www.lippsisters.com
His drinking is a result of something deeper that's going on with him. I also don't think that his behavior is entirely due to his drinking, though it certainly would lower his inhibitions a great deal and contribute to his behavior.
If anything, Don's drinking is a form of self-medicating.
The "something deeper" that's going on, I think, started with was what he was made to believe about himself (being a bastard child of a whore) and what that was supposed to mean.
Everything he has done since, has arisen out of that - and his resistance to it.
Going to A.A. might help him address his drinking, but I think he will find the ultimate solution about his "something deeper," in a favorite quote of mine: "Obviously the truth is 'what's so'. Not so obviously, it's also 'so what?'."
Once he fully "gets" that, it will free him of his "demons" and he'll be fine.
The crux of Don's (Dick's) situation is that he's attempting to "live up to" (or in his case, "down to") his story - that is, the story he has been told about himself. Growing up, I'm sure that Archie and Abigail reminded him constantly of how wretched and worthless he was. It's no surprise that his escape entailed taking on an entirely new identity!
What I think Don desperately needs to discover is that we are not "our stories" - not the story that is told to us by others about ourselves, or the stories we tell about ourselves to ourselves and to others.
That is the trap Don is in.
And what an irony! In his work and personally, he is a master story-teller.
It's a liberating and healing thing when a person gets fully past the dynamic of "being their story".
Looking way ahead in the show, I think his ultimate salvation will come when he stops being a master story-teller. It will probably end his advertising career, but he'll get his life back in achieving, for the first time, a level of self-actualization.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory describes it as the final level of psychological development, which comes about when all basic and mental needs are fulfilled and the "actualization" of the full personal potential takes place.
In that way, Don will finally be able to be who he really is and not be just a flawed actor in a sad story he's been told about himself or the sick story he's living and has been telling himself and exhibiting to those around him.
That might mean he'll leave the ad biz and if the show plays out this way, it will be fascinating to watch and to see how/where he ends up.
I think that once that kind of shattering realization occurs, one just can't go on the way they have been going. Such a higher and deeper insight and knowledge about oneself, brings with it, massive and radical change.
It wouldn't surprise me at all if he becomes a guru in one of the many motivational/self-improvement/self-awareness groups that were big in the early 1970s. After all, he's said that he doesn't "sell advertising," he "sells products". And in the Me Generation of the 70s, there wasn't a bigger product line to be sold than the notion that people weren't "all that they could be" - but for a price, we can show you how you can be that.
My knowledge of Maslow and psychology is minimal, but I have a few good insights about people.
I've never been particularly good at predicting what'll happen on Mad Men, so I mostly try to just enjoy the Hell out of the show. We're pretty far along in the process of exploring the question of just who this guy, Don/Dick, is and it's a fascinating journey!
I love the care that goes into Mad Men and how consistently well crafted the show is. It is character-driven, but with storylines that ring true for me on so many levels. There's the show's setting, in an advertising agency and it's set in the 1960s. The field and the era are compelling. If it were merely a show about that, there would still be much to recommend it, but Matt Weiner weaves amazing drama into each episode and he does it artfully. But it's not just that and it's not just Matt. Something I've never done is catch anyone in the cast acting. The portrayals and the writing are so evolved that possibility and plausibility are a given, for the viewer. I care who these people are and what's going on with them.
It is out of this that I have focused on what's been going on with Don/Dick.
As corny as it might sound, I relate to him. He is flawed, but he is equally heroic. His story is the story of the human quest for identity and meaning. It's universal. Everyone on the show (and on the planet) wrestles with these issues, or will. And who can't relate to that?
I want Don/Dick to succeed! I want him to create a space in which he can be his highest and most authentic self. It's a tall order and so far, he seems to not be too successful in that noble enterprise. I'd even go so far as to say that he's been trying to do it through a process of elimination, though he having trouble mastering that part where you stop doing the stuff that's not really working for you.
Perhaps Season Four will bring him to a place where he'll do better at that. The season will focus on the notion of Identity, hopefully with him beginning to come to grips with the lofty and metaphysical question: Who am I?
Maybe Ken Cosgrove was on the right track about it, with that watch a client gave him: What time isn't it?
Don would do well to ask himself: Who aren't I?
He stands to learn a lot with some honest responses to that.
Successfully answering the question: "Who am I?" can't help but move him closer to fulfilling some of those mental and fundamental needs that Maslow spoke of.
• Esteem
• Love and belonging
• Safety needs
• Physiological needs
and ultimately
• Self-actualization
He sure could use all the Esteem he can get. Same goes for Love and Belonging. Safety isn't something that I'd say he's got an abundance of right now. He's okay as far as Breathing, Food, Homeostasis and Sex are concerned, but what's the point of having those when those other areas are so lacking? Achieving and enhancing the first three areas would serve to bring the Physiological needs into a better and more positive context.
Can he do it, and will he? We shall see. I'm rooting for him!
To me, another favorite quote is applicable here: "You and I want our lives to matter. We want our lives to make a real difference - to be of genuine consequence in the world. We know that there is no satisfaction in merely going through the motions, even if those motions make us successful, or even if we have arranged to make those motions pleasant. We want to know we have made some impact on the world. In fact, you and I want to contribute to the quality of life. We want to make the world work."
I want Don/Dick's world to work.
[This post is comprised of some comments I posted about a month ago, in a thread on the awesome Basket Of Kisses blog, run by Deborah and Roberta Lipp (or, as I call 'em) The Fabulous Lipp Sisters.]
Here's the link to their great site. If you've never been there, do check it out. I think it's the definitive Mad Men blog!
http://www.lippsisters.com