Thank goodness Psychology Today is still relatively sane. Here's a little article on the connexion between the feeling of entitlement and the feelings of frustration or dissatisfaction. Sometimes leading to depression, sometimes to anger. I like how the article mentions that old concept, the location (or onus) of control, which has been important to my thought in psychology, and to mainstream cognitive psychology, since forever.
Please read before proceeding...
Why Americans Are Frustrated, Entitled, and Judgmental I also like how the article moves towards new-agey solutions, but really long tried-and-true formulae for healthy mind and body. Accepting uncertainty, and reserving judgement, also allow compassion to occur. And give-and-take, ergo, economy.
Importantly, here, is how the ideas presented fit perfectly into the whole profile of a narcissist. The presumption of entitlement, for example. That's really, also, just a continuation of womb-think, or generalizing the immediate satisfactions provided during infancy. The narcissist goes on believing that other people are basically just extensions of their ids and egos. So, when those flying monkeys don't comply with expectations - even by coercive manipulation and lies - then great anger follows. Tantrums.
This also applies to things or property. The fact that the narcissist (next-door) merely sees someone else's back yard or dog, then this means, to their basic emotional self, that they essentially, instantly "own" those properties. All subsequent behaviour follows from this root assumption. To cover it up, and function in society, the narcissist resorts to bullshitting.
Then, there is the frustration and anger that accompanies this attitude - this a priori - of entitlement. And, it's a chicken and egg thing. In a way, these people are actually rewarded for their own dysfunctional, emotionally-based thinking. So, they can become addicted to their own pathos of infuriation. Because it proves right, and justifies, their assumptions of entitlement in the first place. Right?
And, as far as, "being right"... It is far less important to the narcissist that he or she actually be Right about anything. In fact, they have a deep inner insecurity which makes them fundamentally doubt that they can actually be right about anything. This secret dread is usually transformed into a Machiavellian, situational world view, where there is no actually thing as, "Right." What matters to them, more importantly, is the appearance of being right. The lie, again, prevailing over the truth. In personal, etc., relations, the narcissist feels the need to be accepted as being an authority, which is the social ticket to actual entitlement. If not, he or she becomes frustrated and angry, and impatient, since they conflation "right" with what they emotionally want.
In this article, it goes farther, saying that, Americans (narcissists), "We’d rather feel certain than be right. “Feel” is the key word. Certainty is an emotional state, not an intellectual one. To feel certain, we must limit the information we consider. The more information we discount or ignore, the more likely we are to be wrong." Which does not contradict what I said above. Some people, (narcissists), have more of a need to feel right than do other people. The way they get there is by using other people to confirm their needy appearance of being right.
And this ties back into entitlement, since feeling right is assumed to be the same thing as, "I have a right to that," or, "My rights are being violated!" It is a paradoxical, odd thing, when the whole idea of an objective, factual reality is transmuted into subjective rationalisations for self-gratification, basically, yes? And, we do see a lot of this, these days.
I am reminded of how my sister responded to something I was saying, "You can't tell me how to spend my money!" when I had said nothing even remotely related to how she "should" spend her money. On the other hand, this sort of meme was part of her thinking. And so she, herself, went on to tell me how I should spend my money, and where to live, and so on. Just as those who are guilt so often point to others as being guilty of such crimes, narcissists will demand rights for themselves, while taking away rights from others.
This is a kind of existential logic of dissatisfaction - an ever unquenchable addiction. And we find that it is often correlated to wealth. Because, as one makes more money, one's options increase not arithmetically, but exponentially - like an explosion of opportunities. Because money makes money, just as banks make money, out of thin air.
After a while, the wealthy person comes to feel that the value of money, or associated purchases, is ever diminishing - like it grows on trees. In a way, there emerges a beast among the wealthy which is a kind of inflation, a growth of aspirituality, immorality and dysmotivation. To compensate, the wealthy advance confidently in the direction of more risk, absurdity and cruelty, so to feel they might reclaim a sense of control, lost so long ago.
The snake, eating its own tail.
I have described this paradoxical addiction as being an increasing externalisation of the onus of control. It entirely follows from an original, deep insecurity. However, over time, as the narcissist evolves into a psychopath, a whole new logic of reality is conjured int heir heads, and this is called the mean world view.
By taking their dysfunctions and rationalising that the only thing that matters is appearance, even through lies... Or winning at any cost... Or full-spectrum domination... (As opposed to dominion)... Or ownership so extensive that it even extends into the will, and genetics, of other human beings - or into exterminating the lives of other human beings... and making these the Rules of the World, they tend to create a world where others become subjugated to their own force.
See how the ever-increasing flight of the onus of control, way off to some distant external place, transforms cognition into an inverted, violent predator. In some people, the art of falling apart becomes the art of acquiring absolute control, i.e., the demonic will to power, in lieu of a soul. And, for many, this becomes the only thing that means anything. It consumes them. They are consumed by a fatalistic delusion, materialism, Mammon, the realm of Caesar. And, as the ghost in them has been given up, they tend to adopt a mentality of death-worship or, together, a death cult. Like cutters, they see pain and death as the only things that register on the pleasure meter.
We often think of perfectionists as being noble aspirers and workaholics. But some perfectionists are more like control freaks, whether in regards to things, money, or people. Impatient with uncertainty, blaming others for change or mistakes, making unrealistic demands, feeling entitled to what all their hard work - however vain - says they deserve. In fact, such perfectionists usually are, in reality, imperfectionists. As narcissists, they create a wake of destruction to others in their path. And they generally see themselves as being geniuses, when they are poor-learning idiots, (as per above). Yet they dangle promises of perfection and Utopia as a way of goading other people to support them.
Which is not to say that it is wrong to work towards refinement and progress and even perfection, per se. But one must be careful to do so in a safe, harmless arena, and not at the expense or harm of others, as through their tax dollars.
"Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the Good!" is a very good admonition.
With the pathological externalisation of control, (ergo hate and blame), not only does it become difficult to learn, naturally, and not only does this set one in one's own ways, (a la reductionism or fundamentalism), but it puts one's own ends before other people's means and ends. The narcissist, and psychopath, can become so insistent that his or her needs or rights, or "ideals", must be met, that he or she will use, manipulate, destroy and even kill people, in their imagined advance towards those ends. This is how "good ends" are often rationalised to justify "bad means." It's virtually always a recipe for disaster.
The cognitive-emotive distortion that goes on inside these people is actually a kind of distortion of time and space, in so far as these can be warped within a human being. Instead of going step-to-step, through reality, their minds want to go goal-to-goal, instead - as if ends are already presenting themselves before the means ever occur to them, just as a lie will be halfway around the world while the Truth is still putting on its boots.
The narcissist has discovered some value in lies, in self-delusion, in abuse and shock, in control - at least in helping them to gain external things - or they would never have been induced into the addiction in the first place. But, as the distortion in their heads grow, so do their perceptions and memories change. And so, their learning becomes dysfunctional and paradoxical. Meanwhile, correlated in reality, the fiction of gaining ends before means become absurdity, war, genocide, and so on.
(See also, "Value distention").
It all starts with the spirit or truth not originating from self, but being substituted by claims and threats seen in the outside world. As we know of narcissists, these people are cravenly insecure. But, some of them do transform that insecurity into a perfect art of warfare, denial, and complete lack of any remorse, accountablity or moral self-reflexion. Attempting to gain the world while losing their souls.
And, the ladder extends upwards, in economies and politics which are dysfunctional, (see tags on counterproduction). These are societies where money rules, especially fake money. Where the wealthy become concentrated into only a few. Where myth or fashion is substituted for reality. Corruption sidesteps the rationality of the market or of merit.
Instead of players freely choosing their place or way up, they are coerced to cooperate with corruption, or else be exposed for various acts of depravity, or whatever. For, as you can imagine, depravity tends to be the annoying bedfellow of narcissism, in a narcissistic system. So, the even-more-perfect narcissists employ ways of threatening more vulnerable narcissists, along their path to final glory. And, so the whole thing is just one big cesspool based on fear, corruption and prurient hungers. With everyone out to appear the most politically correct.
So, in such politics, the most ruthless narcissists - the psychopaths - are admired, feared, and promoted to top positions of leadership, or rightness. These people are absolute masters of lying, pretending, manipulating, confusing, exploitation, warfare, and so on, though their science is always highly flawed as they are, still, complete idiots at heart. Doomed, ultimately, to fail. The interesting thing is that most of them suspect as much, deep down. So, there is a great weakness which can be exploited when confronting such people.
And I say so, sounding much like one of them, Machiavelli, perhaps. Well, it is not as if the politics of the mean world do not exist. On the battle field, they totally apply. So, it is not a morally wrong thing to sometimes use their own tactics against them, so long is careful not to become the enemy, which can so often happen.
And, it is not always a bad thing to be selfish. In fact, just as all entities are born with a bias to exist, we all have a degree of narcissism in us, sometimes more than at other times. We all have ids and egos. We all have needs and wants. We all have flaws and frustrations. We all have some narcissism in us, which is fine.
In fact, most Americans are probably narcissists. But this does not mean that all Americans can be diagnosed as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is a more rare and destructive manifestation of narcissism. Those who are able to spot the habits of narcissism in others, or in self, still have the capacity to walk away from it - as by cutting off contact with the severe narcissists in one's life - and become a better person. Some ways of doing this are mention at the end of the article mentioned.
We are allowed to be selfish. Working through our potentially conflictive, potentially complementary, wills, to achieve higher social rationality and ethics through economics and elections. But there is also a higher kind of selfishness, which comes in the form of integrity, self-motivation and self-actualisation.
Really, when one comes nearer to these, one comes to know oneself as representative of fellow, common human beings, and proceeds to act in ways which represent them, and so helps the common society. Not the rich. Not the assholes. Not the adolescent tantrum-throwers. Instead, one goes about one's business in a consistent, responsible way, unfettered by the judgments or threats presented by emergent fools of the now.
The narcissist next-door would slams doors at me, flash lights, cough loudly, stare, and whatever, for no apparent reason. Except, maybe my screen door was not closing in absolute silence. Well, I got around to fixing that door, as I had planned, and as my illness would permit. I didn't rush to fix it in order to satisfy him, nor did I deliberately NOT fix it in order to irritate him. I went about living my own life - because only I contain the means and the ends available to me.
So, this is called integrity, but really, it is the best way of managing one's mitochondrial energy. It's an energy strategy. Notice how narcissists, on the other hand, are always wasting so much energy, putting out tonnes of garbage, or blowing up oil refineries? Whilst claiming to be saving the planet from global warming? Well, not that all environmentalists are like this. Their movement has simply been corrupted by narcissists, just like most everywhere else.
In contrast to what I was doing, the narcissist next-door did everything possible to rile me with his loud machines, trespasses, and so on. But, that gradually tapered, at least for now. But, see how he has, in his head, the same double standard as exemplified above, where he gets to make as much noise as possible, but also gets to attack me for making the slightest noise, as if he owns the neighbourhood? A-hole Guy was exactly the same way.
In their heads, they believe that the only way to deal with people is by attacking them first, before they attack you. Blaming them before they blame you. Scaring them before they scare you - actually because they scare you. Integrity, like freedom, is something they cannot stand to cast their eyes upon! Just as Satanists cannot stand to say the name, "Jesus." Whether or not the threat is a reality or not, they are compelled to see their world as real, and therefore they must see even symbolic contradictions to it as being very real - as real as terrorists.
Soon, every damn thing becomes a threat, and they are forever on the rampage.
Of course, I don't simply follow my own drummer, ignoring everyone else. I take into consideration that I may be harming someone or something, and will adjust myself reasonably. To some degree. Even if someone is mentally ill, I will make some accommodation for that. But, not when someone acts like I am REQUIRED to change for them - as if I am one of their subjects. In that case, all the French peasants in me raise their pitchforks and so the hell with that crap.
When I see people trying to bully me when I am just minding my own business, it amuses me. It also gets my CFS nerves buzzing. So, I have to stop it, somehow. But, often, just keeping that integrity going will eventually defeat it. I have no interest in becoming a martyr to it, on the other hand. There's still too much work I have to do!
"What," you may ask, "Could any of this have to do with Anthony Fauci?!"
That was a joke, btw.
So, people like Fauci, Gates, Schwab, etc., etc. These are the people who rise to the top like maggots, in a rotting society. They are psychopathic opportunists. In governments where illegal agendae are mapped out, then these are precisely the people needed to carry out those agendae. So, that's how these liars are all in power. But, if you ask me, from where I stand, I think they all need to take a great big shower.
;)
Sept 2020 -
Public trust in CDC, Fauci, and other top health officials is evaporating, poll finds Note: hydroxychloroquine is an effective treatment for Covid-19. Most of those "studies" were faked via FTX, and peddled by the media.
June 2021 -
Diagnosis of Anthony Fauci's Credibility. You May Want to Sit Down. RFK Jr. Exposes Mainstream Media’s Man Behind The Curtain - Big Pharma Click to view
https://youtu.be/trindBhrv3Y Click to view
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3eQSet-3hA Watch for free - limitted time!