The Sound Of A Brand New World.
So, I have been ill, although some of you might have known that, hmm? Must go to sleep as soon as this post is done. Out the window of opportunity.
Prepared as much as possible for vet appt, yesterday. Repercussions of exertions a few days before, though, manifested in disabilities of the brainy etc. way. Woop - boiling kale calls...
Yesterday, before taking the maky-breaky bath, so hot and deep, I sat down and wrote out a detailed description of my dog's issues, and how the stomach thing is theoretically related to my CFS. I was going to post it online, for the doc to read, before I got there. After the bath, I returned to it, to add the finishing touches, and saw that it had disappeared. I must have made two mistakes, (failing to save, and then mistaking the document for something else, ergo deleting it), so, that was lost.
And, my brain and energy were in no shape to try to fair without that. I also was not ready, especially in finding an ASPCA-like cab. So, I had to abandon all hope. And it's the right thing I did, since I have been so ill. Impossible task was abandoned. Now, I had to live with the possibility that my dog might die on me within the next 2+ weeks. And I have to live with getting no sleep, and being made more ill, by his issues. Woe is me. And money.
With a hobbled cranium, today, I did various little things around the kitchen, etc., taking rests in between. Not really getting any better. Wasn't able to complete recyclables but that's not a prob.
Narcissists next door are m-o-v-i-n-g! That's fine with me. To hell with this petty BS. They'll probably move on and up to better and better houses, getting richer and bitchier. I know where the aloof narcissism of the rich starts. It starts in the aloof narcissism of the perniciously mediocre, determined to escape whatever class that surrounds them, since only they are right, and only they deserve all the privileged. Left or right, mentally ill is mentally ill. Rosebud.
Three or four cars gathered there, later today, surveying the premises. One OK white guy. One OK old black couple or family. One brand new family which was just right. It will be nice to, hopefully, only have to deal with people from Planet Earth but, once they get here, there will be issues about the borderline again. You know I'm going to lose my mind. It might help if I extend the range of my dog's line, so the new people don't get extremely wrong ideas. Narcissist guy was mowing well into this property, and letting his dogs piss next to this house.
Slamming doors at tme for no reason. Flashing lights. Revving motors. Leaving trash here. Walking through. Throwing rocks - although, I never did find ou, scientifically, if they were thrown by hom or someone else, say - a hired hand?!
I suppose it must be my fault that he is leaving. I suppose he must go to the full extent of actually physically moving, just to hold on to the assumption that I am at fault, and he is never capable of being wrong. I've seen this sort at the movie house. I know their ways. The whole purpose of their life-in-denial is to prevail as the ultimately correct or, barring that, extremely wealthy and poweerful, so that their can buy their lies with spies and alibies. And cries from their dungeons of poor wee nice guys.
After I told him to back off this property, I think this might have got him seething. Now, he could not walk his giant dogs through, gf included. And, I think they have a baby. So, makes sense to move, especially away from me, the stinker, who walks his dog at 4:am just to escape everyone and their monkey, and so provokes their dogs inside to bark. Go figure that one out. Condemnation Bias.
But, all the sneaky things Creepy Narcissist Guy might have assumed were being perpetrated by me, were either his own projections, or coming from other neighbours and animals. Like the fireworks running through these properties by the black dudes across the alley. But, a narcissist will cling to whatever prejudice he assumes, for selfish purposes, and just explain it all away as, "I don't like that guy. He makes me nervous. Especially when I seek him out and wave my chainsaw at him."
I am very tired, and tired of walking through life, distancing these phantoms, by merely wishing to hue to one truth: We all die alone so knock it off. I've got better projects than to entertain shadows from a magic lantern.
I saw it coming. I knew it would happen again. It was projected. I'm not a drowning man. And I'm not a burning building! I'm a tumbler. Born under punches. These are the hands, of Invisible Man. Picking up something good.
"Look! He's all eaten away!"
Prepared as much as possible for vet appt, yesterday. Repercussions of exertions a few days before, though, manifested in disabilities of the brainy etc. way. Woop - boiling kale calls...
Yesterday, before taking the maky-breaky bath, so hot and deep, I sat down and wrote out a detailed description of my dog's issues, and how the stomach thing is theoretically related to my CFS. I was going to post it online, for the doc to read, before I got there. After the bath, I returned to it, to add the finishing touches, and saw that it had disappeared. I must have made two mistakes, (failing to save, and then mistaking the document for something else, ergo deleting it), so, that was lost.
And, my brain and energy were in no shape to try to fair without that. I also was not ready, especially in finding an ASPCA-like cab. So, I had to abandon all hope. And it's the right thing I did, since I have been so ill. Impossible task was abandoned. Now, I had to live with the possibility that my dog might die on me within the next 2+ weeks. And I have to live with getting no sleep, and being made more ill, by his issues. Woe is me. And money.
With a hobbled cranium, today, I did various little things around the kitchen, etc., taking rests in between. Not really getting any better. Wasn't able to complete recyclables but that's not a prob.
Narcissists next door are m-o-v-i-n-g! That's fine with me. To hell with this petty BS. They'll probably move on and up to better and better houses, getting richer and bitchier. I know where the aloof narcissism of the rich starts. It starts in the aloof narcissism of the perniciously mediocre, determined to escape whatever class that surrounds them, since only they are right, and only they deserve all the privileged. Left or right, mentally ill is mentally ill. Rosebud.
Three or four cars gathered there, later today, surveying the premises. One OK white guy. One OK old black couple or family. One brand new family which was just right. It will be nice to, hopefully, only have to deal with people from Planet Earth but, once they get here, there will be issues about the borderline again. You know I'm going to lose my mind. It might help if I extend the range of my dog's line, so the new people don't get extremely wrong ideas. Narcissist guy was mowing well into this property, and letting his dogs piss next to this house.
Slamming doors at tme for no reason. Flashing lights. Revving motors. Leaving trash here. Walking through. Throwing rocks - although, I never did find ou, scientifically, if they were thrown by hom or someone else, say - a hired hand?!
I suppose it must be my fault that he is leaving. I suppose he must go to the full extent of actually physically moving, just to hold on to the assumption that I am at fault, and he is never capable of being wrong. I've seen this sort at the movie house. I know their ways. The whole purpose of their life-in-denial is to prevail as the ultimately correct or, barring that, extremely wealthy and poweerful, so that their can buy their lies with spies and alibies. And cries from their dungeons of poor wee nice guys.
After I told him to back off this property, I think this might have got him seething. Now, he could not walk his giant dogs through, gf included. And, I think they have a baby. So, makes sense to move, especially away from me, the stinker, who walks his dog at 4:am just to escape everyone and their monkey, and so provokes their dogs inside to bark. Go figure that one out. Condemnation Bias.
But, all the sneaky things Creepy Narcissist Guy might have assumed were being perpetrated by me, were either his own projections, or coming from other neighbours and animals. Like the fireworks running through these properties by the black dudes across the alley. But, a narcissist will cling to whatever prejudice he assumes, for selfish purposes, and just explain it all away as, "I don't like that guy. He makes me nervous. Especially when I seek him out and wave my chainsaw at him."
I am very tired, and tired of walking through life, distancing these phantoms, by merely wishing to hue to one truth: We all die alone so knock it off. I've got better projects than to entertain shadows from a magic lantern.
I saw it coming. I knew it would happen again. It was projected. I'm not a drowning man. And I'm not a burning building! I'm a tumbler. Born under punches. These are the hands, of Invisible Man. Picking up something good.
Click to view"Look! He's all eaten away!"